Really starting to hate this player. He's obnoxious, loud, and he tries to break the flow of the game by interrupting everyone. I yelled at him when I was trying to say something to his character and he wouldn't let me talk. Mind you, that thing was my character reacting to his character being a dumbass and sending the BBG into the abyss where the BBG WANTED to go, when he clearly saw me trying to snap his neck since the BBG sees me as a friend. I proceed to yell at him as a player and then him as a character. The DM tried to defuse the situation by saying "weeellll... he didn't know the kid wanted to go there" when the kid clearly said he was going to go there to do an experiment.
Anyway, session started out with us continuing through the zombie infested castle, and we end up having the DM pretty much try and kill off a character who's player quit, and then my character, who's not normally the hero type, decides that he's lost too many allies, and he would like to keep them alive and not have to deal with more recruitment drive missions. He ends up having one ally distract the skeletons (all 8 of them) and they enter another room. I swan dive in with a rope attached to me and my allies holding on to the rope and I proceed to grab onto the party member who's downed. Pulling me up, one of the skeletons sees me and throws his sword to try and cut the rope. He missed, to my luck, and we got the party member out. I proceed to force a healing potion down her throat and we continue on. I get a fantastically stupid idea since we now ahve a party alchemist, and I ask them to grind up some bone meal. I put them in empty bottles of healing potions and put some lantern oil in them and I made my own version of a small firebomb. We find ourselves soon dealing with a door that is about to be opened and a squad of skeletons to greet us, so I set up my new firebomb, and the skeletons pour in. I fire my fire arrow and my shot connects, and I set the skeletons on fire and burned their front line. We deal with them and I continue to be flawless.
We take a long rest and we find outselves down a trapdoor and facing the final boss. The one guy proceeds to try and befriend him (I shouldmention this is his thing as a player; he tries to deal with the bosses non-violently. So much so, he backstabbed the party and TPK the party because the mob boss put up a better argument for putting crime into the world than the party doing judgement on him for robbing and murdering people. This time, he sells out the party halfling and convinces the man the halfling is his wife. The man proceeds to do random mutterings after questioning the halfling, and then he tries to kill the bard. Meanwhile, I'm hiding under a tarp and I use minor illusion to scare him as the tarp looks to be on fire and I emerge, using disgusie self, to look like Asmodeus. Then, the man shouts in a similar voice that I used to sound like what I think Asmodeus sounds like, SPEAKS BACK TO ME SAYING THAT I AM AN IMPOSTER AND HE WILL KILL ME FOR SUCH BLASPHEMY. I freak out, and he proceeds to stab the fighter (the dumbass) out of random madness. We then proceed to fight the guy. He's got 20AC and he hits like a truck. Eventually, everyone except me is surrouding him, and I set fire to his work by launching a fire arrow at his worktable. He lowers his blades and he stands there watching. We think we broke him and snapped him out of his madness, but NOPE. Fucker LEAPS ACROSS THE ROOM AND ROUNDHOUSE KICKS ME, KNOCKING ME TO 6 HP FROM FULL (although 16hp for level 3 rogue is awful...). I panic and the party member the DM is trying to kill off drinks an unknown potion, leaps across the room too and stabs him with her rapier, and my plan to distract him turned out to anger and mutate him so his AC dropped. I disnegage on my turn after the party flanks him and I take a shot. Everyone is at low HP and I need to end this quickly.
NAT. FUCKING. 20.
I deal 20+ damage with one arrow and have my arrow go straight trough his helmet, as I say "See you in the abyss". He explodes in light and, the DM proceeds to tell us that the fire spread rather quickly and the building is catching. Right when this happens, he pulls a "rocks fall, everyone dies" but does it to kill the character he's been trying to kill this whole time. I end up getting her backpack in a hurry as we proceed to freak out and search for valuables before the place collapses. We find a suit of armor that resembled the bosses' but its damaged. We find out the fire is spreading even more, and the others start grabbing some of the valuable paintings and such as I run down to the wine room to grab as much alcohol as I can, since its 300 years old. I stuff 16 into one of my two backpacks I'm carrying and the room catches fire quickly and I crash out of the window after screaming at the party to get out of the building as I pull an action hero as the room explodes behind me. Being half human half drow, I needlessly pointed out that I was much blacker than I started out as.
We make it out of the building and we proceed to leave the wreck behind. We make our way back to town, and we find it deserted. We hear screaming and make our way towards it to find the Child of Nazaroth again (the BBG) and he's got a big ass portal behind him. I proceed to talk to him, since earlier he deemed me as a friend, as he explains how he sacrificed everyone in town to make this portal appear, and he's going in to do some experiments. I proceed to sneak up behind the child, grab him and I mention that we're both going to meet in the abyss soon and I attempt to snap his neck. Because I have a pitifully low athletics score, I end up making a fool of myself and making the kid think I'm a freak. The fighter, who is asking stupid questions (such as "is there anything of value in the abyss?" and I managed to convince him there was everything he ever dreamed of being in there, because I'm sick of his character and the player) proceeds to see this kid is the bad guy and kicks him into the abyss, with the child laughing as he falls and me screaming "NO! STOP!" but being too late. The portal closes and we have to deal with A FUCKING BONE NAGA. The bard tells us that we can run, but my rogue, Geth, has had it with running away. He may hide and strike in the shadows, but he is NOT going to run away again. I throw a flask of oil on the Naga and tell the others to light him up, and the warlock casts burning hands on the monster. The naga then paralyzes me and tries to drag me away, but the bard manages to cleave the naga apart and free me.
I proceed to start yelling at the fighter when the portal reopens and we're hanging on for our dear lives. The paladin is next to me, and the bard (Disparel) manages to get up and helps the halfing who's near him. I proceed to try and climb up and get some progress while the fighter (who's stupidly named Pringler Yugi by a stupid player) fumbles his roll. I proceed to throw a rope to him in hopes of saving him, but Geth is not strong. He starts screaming at the fighter in his fury and desperation, saying "I'd let the abyss take you, but I want to kill you myself!" and so on. Every time I make a roll to climb up, I mention that if I fail, I will let go of the rope instead of falling.
Just my luck, I fail and he drops, cursing me for letting go. Disparel gets the halfling out and I fail to hold on again, and I, with my deftness, quickly swing my crowbar from my bag out and hook myself on to the edge of the portal. We hear the child counting down from the abyss.
"SIX."
I proceed to shout at the fighter to tie the rope to himself. He does so. Disparel and the halfling help me out and I swing out of the abyss and load an arrow into the heavy crossbow I have in hopes of using it in place of bolts. The child shouts out from the abyss again.
"FIVE."
I race to the other side of the portal and use my string to lower the crossbow to him. He fumbles the roll and falls down more into the portal, still holding on for dear life and is barely able to stop himself from falling deeper in. The crossbow flings itself back up (by DM powers) with a "return to sender" note on it.
"FOUR."
The fighter shoots the arrow towards us and we catch the roep and start pulling him out.
"THREE."
We keep pulling him out. He's 20ft below the edge.
"TWO."
He's at the edge of the portal, but no one can get him up yet because he's quite heavy (and we suck at our rolls)
"ONE."
We get him up finally and we breathe a sigh of relief.
"ZERO."
The DM stops the background music for a moment. Silence. And then the portal grows in size, and we start falling in again. I fail enough that I fall back in, but I grab on to the fighter, and the halfling is grabbing on to the edge for dear life and Disparel leaps back and manages to hold us in place for a turn while he casts enhance ability (bull's strength) on the halfling.
"SIX."
The halfling pulls herself out and grabs the rope. We don't get anywhere in the portal trying to drop us into the abyss.
"FIVE."
They manage to pull the fighter up from 30ft to 5ft. I hang on for my dear life as I slip and I'm stuck on his ankle now.
"FOUR."
The fighter gets pulled out and I swing myself from his leg to the ledge. I'm hanging on for my dear life but this time, I'm not relying on a dumbass who continues to hate my character.
"THREE."
Disparel pulls me out and we book it, save for Pringler, who wants to see how big the portal can be.
"TWO, ONE, FUCK YOU, ZERO."
The portal rips open almost enough to grab him again and he keeps hanging near the edge and then the child counts from 3. Pringler continues to do that thing until the DM just gets rid of the portal, and the fighter claims he did it all himself. I proceed to try and kick him in the balls, but the DM says "NO PVP" and prevents me from doing so. I then proceed to say how much of an idiot he is and the player starts talknig about something random and I, now so fed up with him, I YELL AT HIM TO SHUT UP AND LISTEN AND NOT INTERRUPT ME WHEN I'M TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING. Said he shouldn't have kicked the kid in because that was what he wanted, and the DM tries to sjpport the fighter's decision and I get fed up, and say we should call it.
Overall, if not including that dumb shit, pretty good and entertaining. We leveled up to level 4, and instead of getting +1 to con and strength that I really needed, I decided to take sharpshooter as a feat. Considering I'm always sneaking, I'll be glad to have it and skulker later on.