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[bahihs]

What it says on the title.

If you don't know what Nuzlocke is, its basically hard mode for pokemon. None of the pansy-ass "my pokemon fainted oh no!" or "gotta collect 'em all!" or "Shitface whited out!". 1 pokemon per area. Pokemon die. If all your pokemon die, you fucking die. As my hero, that evil dude from the Karate Kid once said, "No mercy!". That's about all there is to it.

To add to the insanity, I've randomized various things in the game. I don't feel like listing everything, but suffice it to say, most things will be random but not broken. Also I think trade-evolutions now happen normally. Whatever, never cared for them anyway.

This is an (illustrated) suggestion game, because stick figures will be used, and drawings will be shitty and MS paint is the only drawing software I have. You have been warned. Anyway, enough about the rules lets just start this shit.


Yes, that's a goddamn bellsprout. I warned you didn't I?

Alright, so I'm dreaming about Oak apparently. Child molester confirmed. Victim of child molestation confirmed.

Let's get the schizo-amnesiac dream crap out of the way shall we?

Name and gender?

[ATHATH]

Name: Poophead (our parents were terrible at naming things)
Gender: Stick Figure (for game purposes, male)

[bahihs]

And the child grew, and she brought him unto Pharaoh's daughter the crazy cat-lady, and he became her son. And she called his name Poophead: and she said, "Because he smells like shit".

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You have no gender. You have a hat. You won't be defined by social standards, you're above that, you're beyond that. You're the ungraspable wind on this crazy journey we call life. Also you have no gentials - or organs, really. In fact how were you even born? Binary fission?

Anyway, dream Oak introduces his grandson (you're surprised this asshole had kids, let alone that he's outlived them), yet another victim of Pederasty. He hates you because Oak doesn't love him. You hate this town and everyone in it. You're pretty jaded for 12 year-old...

Forget it, Poophead, it's Pallet Town.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Anyway, what was your rival/fellow abuse victim's name?

[birdy51]

Snoopdog is our rival.

[ATHATH]

Snoopdog is our rival.

+1

[Cerol Lenslens]

Our Rival is Oak's son, and therefore his name must be Poison. Poison Oak. Because he's irritating, see.

[bahihs]

Ah yes, "Poison Oak", or "Snoopdog" for short. yet another reason why you don't let children name themselves. And with that, you awake in your modest home, cold sweat pouring down your back.

You clean yourself up and go downstairs to find your mother looking vacantly at a table. You try to talk to her.

"...Right" she says "All boys leave home someday, it said so on TV. Oh yes Prof. Oak was looking for you next door."

"Um. Ok, is there any breakfast?"

"...Right, all boys leave home someday, it said so on TV. Oh yes Prof. Oak was looking for you next door."

You back away. She's finally snapped. Its time. You need to get the hell out of this godforsaken town. You make a beeline for the woods. You're almost out...and no, Oak runs toward you with surprising speed and grabs your arm.

"Its unsafe! Wild pokemon live in tall grass! You need your own pokemon for protection, I know, here, come with me!"

You've heard this shit a thousand times, you try to back away, but the grip is too strong. He drags you to his "lab" where Snoopdog is waiting. He looks at you with disdain. There is a streak of red on your arm where Oak gripped you, you try to rub it away.

Oak begins reminiscing about his youth, you try to sneak off, but he mentions pokeballs and turning to the table on your right, there are indeed three pokeballs sitting on the table and Oak wants you to choose one. He caresses your face; "Go ahead, choose one" he says. Snoopdog naturally freaks the fuck out and starts throwing a tantrum, Oak smacks him around a little. "Be patient, Snoopdog, you can have one too" he says as he kicks him soundly in the ribs.

Ready to get off of the freak train you quickly scan the pokeballs there are...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A seed, a worm and a bird...

Of course, what else can be expected from this senile bastard? He probably just went into the woods and brought back the first 3 things he could find. Well, anyway, you'd better choose one quick and get out. Before he starts his monologue again.

((To make it interesting I'm not going to reveal what the pokemon are (good luck trying to decipher those hieroglyphs I call drawings btw) until I get the pokedex)).

[Parsely]

Worm.

[birdy51]

...I actually have to praise Professor Oak here. You give him far too little credit for setting up for you what is clearly a very basic food web.

See. You have your producer, that's the seed. Then you have your level 1 consumers that consume the seed. That is your worm. Then finally, we have the bird which is a level 2 consumer that eats the worm.

It's elementary really!

Let's see here though... I'm going to guess what the types are now for the hell of it. I see a Ghost-Seed, A Fighting-Worm, and... An Electric Bird?'

Blargh. Let's go with the Worm. We'll see how well that suits us!

[ATHATH]

Seed! Shrifty is cool.

[Cerol Lenslens]

Birds eat seeds and bugs.

Bird is the word.

[bahihs]

(( Alright, we've got 2 for worm, 1 for bird and 1 for seed, I'll give it until tonight; otherwise it'll be worm))

[bahihs]

You grab the pokeball with the worm and make a run for the door. About half way to freedom, you look behind you and see Snoopdog charging at you full speed. Oak is yelling something about naming the worm and flailing his arms. Snoopdog has blood in eyes. You might die here today.

But more importantly...

Give a nickname to the worm?

[Cerol Lenslens]

There is no better role model than Oscar the Grouch.

Name the worm 'Slimy'.

[Generally me]

Cregarinaitadutp but Jim for short