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[Shurikane]

I have four megabeasts outside my fort and am preparing for the onslaught by preparing a field of 200 spike traps.

I also have 10,000 bones scattered in various corridors and the meeting hall.

[Grendus]

I have four megabeasts outside my fort and am preparing for the onslaught by preparing a field of 200 spike traps.

I also have 10,000 bones scattered in various corridors and the meeting hall.

10,000 bones according to your stocks menu? At 8 per goblin, you would, at minimum, have to have killed 1250 goblins to get 10,000. Even if this was boatmurdered, you would need 500 elephants to reach that many bones. Dayum.

[Rozenbuddy]

Un-prepared for goblin ambush... Drafted all of my people just to see half of them slaughtered... the goblins died too so it's good...

[MelloHero]

Got my fort's first siege. It spawned near the elf village instead of the colony, though. 3 minutes (2 of which were getting there) and the goblins were all dead except for a wrestler who's missing an eye and a leg below the knee. Kind of anticlimactic, if I do say so myself.

[Kyrus]

First fortress is done(king came, so I flooded the fort, impaled half my champions on spikes, impaled the duchess' child on spikes, and so on...but nothing happened. Except for my duchess throwing a tantrum that lasted an entire five minutes. I could have just caved in everything, but I was just bored at that point so I quit.) so it's time for my second!, so I just gave up on that.
I'm running this fortress, Splatterblood, on a location with three interesecting biomes:Two mountainous ones(including one that has the magma pipe I insisted on this time around) and one forest one(I'm not ready to play without trees or ready soil yet...or refillable water, for that matter(looking for magma pipe+HFS+underground river+no aquifer turned up negative)). The magma pipe breaches the surface, but there are convenient natural walls preventing the fire imps from freaking out my dwarves/setting my dwarves on fire. Sadly, when the first year's dwarven caravan came(after I finally set up my depot in late summer), I hadn't quite set up enough stuff to trade for an anvil. Now I have what feels like a billion immigrants, four of whom are wrestlers with sad little wooden bucklers as their only real armor. At least the first to dwarves I made into wrestlers became legendary within a season, so they should be able to stand up to anything that doesn't seriously hurt them first.

[Reese]

I haven't had a chance to use my magma drowning trap in anger yet, but I found out that my solution to the problem of magma on the pathway doesn't work... retracting bridges don't toss magma around like they do items... so now I can remove the bridges and recover the mechanisms and consider building them again as raising bridges to atom smash the magma... not ideal since I have it set up as I do to harvest the goblinite more efficiently and I don't want to smash the iron equipment... maybe if I raise them to keep the goblins and magma off the support columns before the goblins enter the chamber and then I don't have lower them until the magma is fully drained away...

I also have decided I'm going to deal with the several thousand individual bone bolts(over 3500, almost 3600) I have littering the trench behind and beside my archery targets... I thought I'd make use of the fact spent bolts aren't destroyed if they drop a z level, but bone for training bolts has been so plentiful I haven't had need of them, and now my z stocks menu takes a full second to process them when I highlight the ammunition category...

so I'm extending the magma channel that feeds my magma forge to pour into the channels under the archery range.

and I mine away all but the last square, and then I realize that I can't just mine out the last square because whoever does it will die.  because I rememberd that the channel is fed by a pump directly conencted to a windmill, and not even my superdwarvenly agile legendary miners can move fast enough, I think, to avoid being flash fried and burned away by pump driven magma.

And I also realize that a good portion of those bolts are masterwork bolts made by my legendary bone carver.  Mist generator, legendary dining room, and all, I don't think he would take well that many individual masterwork bolts of his being destroyed at once.  there's got to be at least 300 masterwork bolts (including a 10-20 of masterwork goblin bone bolts masterfully decorated with turtle shell) so i need to get all the masterwork bolts removed from the channel, and to hope my crossbow dorfs don't run around trying to train with the individual bolts.

And then it hits me, DF is like a puzzle game where you have to solve the problems... that you've created for yourself.

Also, one of my crossbow dorfs picked up an artifact leather shield I had lying around... hopefully this doesn't interfere with his crossbow use...

[DorfDorfingdorf]

My fortress, Machinegod, is progressing along.   *This was made in Vanilla Dream*
-The first layer of the Dwarven Nuclear Missile Silo is slowly coming along as iron is laid out at the bottom of the chasm.  After this, its current Z level will be covered with magma, which will in turn be covered with more iron, which will in turn have water pumped on top of it to simulate cooling tanks.
-Exploration attempts are being made to find the Giant Cave Spider which has made webs inside the chasm.
-Aggression-proofing the top of the magma pipe is coming along, as it is being entirely encircled by cage traps to eventually tame the surviving magma man within its depths.
-The Baron, Baronness, Tax Collector, and Hammer have moved in.  Approximately 20 dwarves remain before he becomes a proper Duke. * Immigration was edited to disable after 100 to prevent more swarms of angry dwarves.  The remaining number should be bred.
-Existing children growing up are being specifically drafted into the military, to be fed as young Spartans by the existing working class dwarves.
-Preparing for digging into the underground pool and underground magma pool.
-Preparing blueprints for the Dwarven Living Quarters apartment building.  This will be built on Venetian 'stilts' with moving fresh water beneath and surrounding it.  Each room will have a glass patio overlooking the rest of the Mines of Moria-esque cavern being hewn out around it.
-Bridge/Ramp Drowning Trap is coming along. Essentially, in the event of a siege, two long bismuth bar drawbridges (hoping to implement more soon) draw up against the wall, revealing a long trench with ramps at either end. Bad guys go in, bridges close above them (can building destroyers attack one tile above them..?) and flood the enclosed area with water.

I'm curious, anyone else have other awesome stories lately? No megabeasts or demons here, sadly. But I have a tame +<3giant olm<3+! Anyone else have awesome tame critters?

[Shrike]

I've tamed a hydra... woohoo.

But! I do have breeding pairs of black & grizzly bears, and giant leopards. I was hoping for giant jaguars, but the elves didn't get me a female in time.

Fortunately, the pheasants have stopped flying into my excavations and disrupting all work.

[Retro]

On my first fort, the elves brought a female Giant Eagle which started spore-producing with the male eagle flying around the map. After a decade or so, this turned into an eaglesplosion. At that point I made them trainable and abandoned my military in favour of 100 or so Stray War Giant Eagles

But yeah, they kept breeding in two-hatchling litters and a while later my FPS bottomed out. Fortunately I was about sick of the fort by then anyhow.

[Mordae]

Got a goblin siege.
I had 25 dwarfs.
Now I have 11, of which 4 are wounded and 8 depressed.

[andrea]

I am finishing the 3z-level enormous dining room, which can probably host the whole fortress, and maybe also the humans of the caravan. Very good year for the fortress!

[blue emu]

I've started a new game on a Desert map. No above-ground source of water (but there is an Underground Pool somewhere on the map), and no wood except scattered cacti.

I'll have to find my Underground Pool and start growing Tower-Caps before anyone dies of thirst and before I run out of barrels for Booze (a fate worse than death, where Dwarves are concerned).

Oh, yes... DO NOT FEED THE LEOPARDS. In particular, don't feed them Dwarves.

[Shrike]

The underground farming area is in, and will support a full 200 dwarves. However, I have a huge amount of above ground space (dirt dropped ~14 z levels as a ring about an ornamental lake for light-based farming and alcohol production, so food will never be a problem.

Next: carving out the food & empty barrel/bag stockpiles, setting up the new brewing, kitchen and farmer's workshop facilities,  and then closing down all of my original farms and food production areas.

I've finally decided that, since I can't manage to make a really good looking inverted pyramid pit, I'll put exceptional/masterwork clear glass around the entire inner circumference and give all my people a room overlooking the lake. 

70% finished on the block cap over the pit (to prevent vomiting all over my beautiful steel streets, picturesque fields and city parks), but will need many, many more blocks to create a proper dome all the way to the ground.

It always amuses me to think how great dwarven engineering is when they can make a single staircase to heaven and use it to pave the sky.

[Greiger]

I just lost 7 residents to 2 hippoes.  I am ashamed and annoyed.

One of the traders' guards apparently killed a giant jaguar on their way in.  A few residents run out and cross the bridge over the river to retrive the corpse and the sliced off bits for some delicious Jaguar steak.

I don't notice any of that, I'm paying attention to getting the trade goods to the depot.

Then I start seeing death messages...lots of them, flanked by interrupted by hippo.  Here I am wondering why the hell all my people are getting killed by hippoes when they should be hauling crafts.

So after a moment I find the carnage filled field and send my military (that just recently killed a size 37 dragon)  And the entire damn military just sits there watching civilians get slaughtered.  Making no move to attack, even when it moves to attack one of my champions.

The champion when attacked dosn't even fight back, he just gets slowly nibbled to death.  Only when I specifically order the military to pile into the tile the hippo is on do they fight it.  The champion in full steal armor with a modded 144% metal axe got killed by a goddamn hippo.

So I spread the military around in a perimeter and order corpse collection.  Then go back to handling the trader situation.

Shortly I get another group of death message spam.  Another hippo came out of the river, I had Swordsmen every 3 tiles by the river.  The military completely ignored the thing as it walked past them and started munching on more residents, again no more than 5 tiles away from enough military firepower to scare the crap outta North Korea.

Oh and did I mention the mayor decided to ban export of my primary export (green glass goblets) during this fiasco too?

EDIT: Oh and now my woodworker (and his axe) went straight from unhappy to berserk, with the majority of my military covering the corpse cleanup.  I've dealt with tantrum spirals before, but never one in an above ground fortress.  I have run out of coffins.

EDIT2: Yea, full blown tantrum spiral.  The tantrumers I can deal with, but so far I got 4 berserkers.  And random residents dropping dead from wounds.  The jail is full, the cemetery is full.  The dining is beginning to look like the training barracks from all the blood.  And one of the tantrumers broke down the locked door to the hammerer's room.

EDIT3: One of my champions went berserk.  Although he didn't manage to kill anyone outright he permanently crippled almost everybody that came to subdue him.  The mayor is currently holding meetings to calm residents down from his jailcell while tantrumming. My final champion has gone melancholy. The countess is berserk locked in her room.

EDIT4: My usual plan of reassigning the military into the fortress guard during a tantrum spiral has failed...They are all tantrumming and berserking too.  OH and now the goblin seige has come!

[lordofhyphens]

I ran into HFS (fire demons) by means of a direct dig into the side wall of a glowing pit. Five demons came out. They're apparently all dead now, with 40 losses on my side. I'm trying to avoid the tantrum spiral death.