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[TD1]

100% attendance. 100% reduction of arms in armoury.

[Seleucian]

I think my cat is up to something...

[Staalo]

A visitor has arrived at our fort:  A Gorlak Dancer. 

Don't want to watch, yet can't look away...

 

*checks wiki*

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Wellll... I guess with enough booze anything passes as entertainment in Dwarven taverns...

WOHOO!!! SHAKE THAT THING BABY!!!

[oldmansutton]

When the Gorlak Dancer entered the tavern, and eventually started to Perform Dance, I was curious to see what sort of dance he was doing. However, every dwarf that was in there spontaneously took that opportunity to leave the tavern, so I was unable to view the activity.  Smart dwarves.  A couple human visitors stayed to watch, but unfortunately, it seems you can only view the activity from a fortress member. 

I imagine a conversation as the gorlak entered the fortress:

Dwarf Gateguard: *checks visitor manifest*  "A gorlak?  What are you doing here, why didn't I know about this?"
Gorlak: "What you don't know about me I could just about squeeze into the grand chasm.  Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Bridgeteachers?"  *does a gesture with his hands, in finest "Showgirls" fashion*  "Bet you didn't know that, did you?"

bonus points if you get the reference.

[Derpy Dev]

I think my cat is up to something...

Soon, all will bow before Mr Fluffykins...

[Fleeting Frames]

@oldmansutton: You can view visitors' activity from (u)nits-Others tab with j.

[Foxite]

Time to explore the caverns.

[Foxite]

Hello, and welcome to the second installment of The Ignobles, an annual event where the claimants of the Baron position of some fort halfway across the world compete to explore the caverns the fastest and remain alive the longest! My name is latias1290 and I will be your host for tonight.

Earlier this morning two dwarves inherited the Baron position of, in order, the City of Granitepartnered and the Metropolis of Handlegripped. As per usual procedure, they are to prove their worth by entering and exploring the caverns below the earth at the fortress they live in. If this was not the norm, pansies from all over the world would swarm for the right to make mandates for awfully useless items and demand frivolous furnishings in their bedrooms. We can't have that! For this reason, the amount of heirs is kept in check by making them fight for their lives - and their right for the throne.

Among the loss- errr, the candidates are Zasit Alaklitast, a Talented Miner who has claimed the throne of Handlegripped. It is a shame he must go -- to Handlegripped, I mean -- since we can always use a strong mining workforce. The other heir is Ineth Isonkeskal, who has inherited Granitepartnered. Frankly, he has not been very useful so far, having aquired only Adequate Shearer and merely Dabbling Brewer. I don't think he'll make it...!

Stay tuned, our show begins in less than 15 minutes!

Edit: due to technical issues involving some Elves the show has been delayed by an hour. Stay tuned.

[Foxite]

DAY ONE

We're back for day one! The games begin! We send our squad of 2 loyal men down the stairwell. They are to explore the first cavern level and make it out alive... what? Ineth is not coming. Where is he?



SLACKING OFF IN THE TEMPLE? I said before he's not going to make it, but I think he might just be disqualified if he does not come down to the stage right now! He will face execution by Magma, so I have sent a goblin assistant to go get him.

... I just got word that our goblin assistant has been murdered by Ineth. Ineth is also coming down as we speak. Good news! That might just change my opinion on his ambitions if he keeps up the good work.

We will now go live to our CaveCam feed to show you exactly what is happening in the caves! Should the explorers go out of view, we will have a low-resolution camera mounted to a Hungry Head that will make sure that we can have a direct image of our contestants no matter where they go.



As we can see here, the contestants have gathered at the enterance. They are about to discover the horrors that lurk the caves!



Shortly after setting foot in the caverns, our contestants find themselves surrounded by blood. Closer inspection reveals that the blood belongs to a Giant Olm! *gasp!* Clearly an intense fight has taken place here. Maybe the survivors are still lurking around here somewhere! Unfortunately, the path ahead is an underground lake, so we might never find the survivors, depending on their ability to swim. We also find the remains of a Cave Swallow, but it is unlikely that it died because of a fight with a giant olm. It is more likely that it was caught in the Cave Spider web that it is next to.



As our contestants progress through the caverns, discovering rich caches of ore and minerals as they go, they find themselves in another bloodied part of the cave. Closer inspection reveals that this blood belongs to several (that's 5 to 10) trogdolytes! Or Hungry Head Drone might not have the best sense of smell, but it has not failed us before. We will take a sample for analysis later and provide you the fine details in the discussion, tonight at 11!

But what's this?



One of our contestants, Zasit, reports being thirsty! The backstage personnel tells me that we have not provided them with any waterskins (or any equipment at all, for that matter), so we might have to cut short this episode for the dwarf to head all the way up into the fortress and take a sip. Such behavior is not the example a worthy Baron needs to be making for his subjects! If this dwarf is to be the winner of this installment of Ignobles, he must press on.

Meanwhile, if we take a look on the map of explored cavern so far, we can see that the boundaries of the fortress have been reached! It appears that Zasit got lucky and will be able to take his drink without suspending the episode. Joke's on him, though, we have sealed the entrance for the 18 hours that the dwarves are to stay in the caverns. Fortunately for him, there is water on this level of the caverns, so he will have something to drink.

I wish I could say that this has been an action-packed episode of Ignobles, but there have been no encounters! The only predators our drone has detected were two pond grabbers who were sitting in the same underwater spot the entire time. I guess that means that all our contestants will make it to the second round!

That's it for this episode of Ignobles! We will be back tomorrow at 7 PM sharp to report our contestants' progress through the second cavern layer. As always, my name is Latias1290 and I will see you tomorrow!

[Descan]

So, uh, I didn't realize, or rather forgot, that I settled near a necromancer's tower.

...

So the *new* 7 dwarves are currently scrambling to build the tomb level and stuff all the coffins!

At least the necromancer is de- wait shit there were two towers.

[oldmansutton]

@oldmansutton: You can view visitors' activity from (u)nits-Others tab with j.

Brilliant, thanks FF!

[Foxite]

DAY 2

Hello, and welcome to day 2 of The Ignobles, an annual event where the claimants of the Baron position of some fort halfway across the world compete to explore the caverns the fastest and remain alive the longest! My name is latias1290 and I will be your host for tonight.

To begin the day we have broken through the walls of the second cavern layer with relative ease. We expected to have to launch a huge search operation like we had to find the first cavern layer...


This pattern was repeated every 5 levels well over 10 times...

But fortunately we only had to dig a staircase 20 levels below the floor of the first cavern layer to break through the roof of the second cavern layer. We established a secure entrance close to the center of the map.

To begin the event, our contestants are called to the stadium ERR I mean the caverns to get ready for the games. This time, Ineth was the one to come right away while Zasit had some trouble getting out of bed. We sent one of our assistants to wake him up.



Zasit was quickly online to compete in the games. The games begin!



We arrive at the scene without many predators in immediate sight, although the miners who initially opened the caverns reported seeing a Troll. There has not yet been a trace of him, but our contestants have found several millions dwarfbucks worth of minerals, including an until-now unknown ^{(to me, at least)} type of opal! We will be sure to have this ore cluster mined out and sent to our jeweler for appraisal. Discussion on this at 11!



As our contestants progress through the caverns they come across a small lake, with several Blind Cave Ogres standing on a tree in the lake! Perhaps we can grab their attention with our drone. We will then lead them to our contestants, raising the first opportunity for a proving of worth!

Initially, the ogres don't seem to notice our drone. In an attempt to grab their attention, we lead our contestants closer to the ogres. The closest point is on a tree, which we will set a station command on... what's this? The contestants are heading back to the entrance! They say they can't reach the target location! WE WILL HAVE NONE OF THAT! SEAL THE ENTRANCE!



That was a success. The contestants are heading back to the Ogres. Unfortunately, despite being well known to be able to swim, the ogres are not attempting to provoke our contestants.

We will come back to them later as we progress through the caverns.

After exploring the caverns entirely and while coming back to the ogres, Ineth went to sleep in the caverns! He is truly a daredevil. Dwarves aren't well known for their ability to wake up quickly. Perhaps that Troll will come back and test his capacity to wake up quickly!

Meanwhile... our attention is interrupted by a sieging force! I knew this would happen, but not so soon!



Fortunately, we have well in advance prepared a real military force to deal with such an attack. Unfortunately this means that we will have to cut short this episode of Ignobles and return tomorrow. See you then!

[Foxite]

Update: after having breached the third cavern level and finding that it's all water, I have decided to build a platform supported by a single support and then triggering the support with a lever. It instantly killed the two barons, passing the positions to their sons.

I'm retiring the fort now. I'm not living with their bullshit.

[Boatsniper]

Moody dwarf needs shells.

I have no shells.

All of the fishing spots are empty, even in the cavern.

What's the DFHack command to spawn a raw pond turtle shell?

[Dunamisdeos]

So first, you type "liquids". This is the secret term for the spawn shell command. Ignore anyone or anything that indicates to the contrary, they are trying to hide the best special commands from you.

Then, move your cursor over the dwarf in question. Hit Enter.

Please note that this command occasionally spawns magma. If it does that just put it over another dwarf and try again.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It always spawns magma. Also, I can't be trusted.