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[Random_Dragon]

I've said exactly that. You won't get sieged by the motherland, but it will fuck you over.

Meanwhile...midsummer of second year and I've yet to get my first 2 migrant waves. This bodes unwell.

EDIT: Oh FUCK ME. I found the problem. I still had the population caps set to 7 from my previous torture fort.

[Saiko Kila]

Regarding caravans, I had an instance of a bug I've heard about. Elves came and started unloading. They were "unloading" the whole month (I suppose they got mental issues and just had to) and then left. Since they showed up on the map, some of their items were visible in stocks screen, but pointed to the edge of map. Most notably another giant fly and a giant wolf. Their envoy wasn't nice either, but that's probably unrelated. I was considering using the tricks mentioned in this thread to gain a 3-tonne giant fly, but I'd have preferred a giant wolf really, so let them go.

After the elves went home, my stonecrafters were able to inscribe four memorial slabs: for two elves, a mule and a horse. They died off screen. So it is possible next year the elves will blame me for their incompetence.

[Libash_Thunderhead]

There's a moth FB in the cavern! So I ordered them to torn down the door and build a wall instead. But just before the wall was finished, a cave crawler who was scared by the FB rushed in, destroyed the farm plot and injured several planters before it was killed by angry citizens.
To make it even worse, the dwarves who went to rebuild the farm plot dropped dozens of teeth on the plot where the wall was to be placed!
I quickly ordered a mercenary squad to station near the gap, but the forgotten beast flew in before they arrived...two died in the conflict.

[HyperMemes]

So I made a new fort to get back into dwarf fortress so since I was rusty from not playing in a while I decided to custom name my fort to sound a bit more catastrophic and unlucky. "Doomedbreakfasts the God-Forsaken Home of Crying"... That sounds good enough. I named my first seven dwarves after two of my friends, Mason, and Jake. Then I name two others "Jesse" and "Heisenberg" (Walter White) from Breaking Bad. Then I name the next dwarf "420" because Mason requested it as they would be the farmer. And finally I named the last dwarf "Moses" because Mason wanted him to be a doctor.

I embark and there's a pretty decent hill to carve into so I start to dig into it. Time passes and I get a workshop and stockpile ready and eventually some rooms and a meeting area. Some migrants arrive boosting my population to 15 with the majority of them being farmers. I decide to build a well and plump helmet farm to mass produce wine for them.

Years gone by without something stupid happening: 3
The population is reaching the hundreds and I have a pretty sufficient fort running on plump helmets and fish. Moses died because they went insane from a fey mood and I did not have any glass to give him. I made tombs for the original seven dwarves as a sort of monument or something. Other than the death of our doctor everything is fine

Years gone by without something stupid happening: 5
I am starting to think our fort is not as unlucky as I though it would be

Soon a new mayor is elected. This mayor is an interesting fellow as for the past 10 mandates he wanted to make catapult parts or prohibit the export of them. This continues for what seems like forever. I have about 20 catapult parts laying around and I don't have anywhere to put them so I will probably keep them for later.

Years gone by without something stupid happening: 6
This fort has been lasting for years without problems besides the occasional kobold thief.

Years gone by without something stupid happening: 0
However, one of my miner dwarves decided to incorrectly channel a roof above a drawbridge which led to a 6-level drop down to some nice soft very hard stone. Well when he dug out the corner to be alone it fell onto the bridge where two of my other dwarves were on and both fell to what seemed impending doom. Only one survived with major injuries including their left leg and hand essentially exploding into gore. The other dwarf was not so fortunate because their neck took the full blow. Sometimes I wish my dwarves weren't complete idiots.

The first attack on my fort happened today. A forest titan decided to stroll nearby and it looked like a blob consisting mostly of water and also shot webs. It has a square shell protecting it as well. At this time I have about 16 in my military mostly consisting of wrestlers. Since nothing bad was happening for almost 8 years I decided to be a little lax on the military but I was sure I could beat this beast. Me being not very cautious said,"Hey! Let's go fight that thing! It can't be that bad. It is only a blob of water and webs." but boy was I in for a treat. It shot webs at its first victims before throwing itself into the poor souls causing body parts to get smashed into bits and bones to get crushed. Four were brutally crushed and died while one was injured greatly with a pierced lung, some broken ribs, and a destroyed arm.

I guess the name of this fort is starting to make more and more sense as the days go by but it is only the beginning. This is also my first post so sorry if this is a very long read.

[NJW2000]

Try building the catapults in the mayor's bedroom. My old king used to love his ballistae...

[Libash_Thunderhead]

The Glorious Tombs
wishes to reside in
Sculpturelashes
for the purpose of
entertaining citizens and visitors.

-------
Let me see, 10 human poets, 1 goblin poet and 1 goblin herbalist!
Hey guys, we have spies.

[Random_Dragon]

Let me see, 10 human poets, 1 goblin poet and 1 goblin herbalist!
Hey guys, we have spies.

Madness, that goblin herbalist just wants your hemp. All of it.

Because why else would a carnivorous species become focused on a plant-based profession?

[Chevaleresse]

I've had to stop accepting bards into the fort since I realized they were nearly half of my total population.

[Random_Dragon]

I've had to stop accepting bards into the fort since I realized they were nearly half of my total population.

Now I pretty much only accept mercs. :V

[mirrizin]

I've had to stop accepting bards into the fort since I realized they were nearly half of my total population.

I'll take a few early on, and some scholars; but after a while, it' s just too much.

[HyperMemes]

Try building the catapults in the mayor's bedroom. My old king used to love his ballistae...

I already have a ton of dug out rooms around the mayors office so there is no space to dig out for a catapult

[mirrizin]

A forgotten beast emerged from the depths. An undulating gigantic humanoid with wings, and made of rock salt. It had a poisonous sting.

The Mace Lord Bembul Spiralboots was there to meet it.

Bembul laughed in the face of death, and kicked the forgotten beast once in the lower body with his left foot. The forgotten beast broke into two pieces.

Apparently one of my dorfs is Chuck Norris.

[Libash_Thunderhead]

Apparently one of my dorfs is Chuck Norris.

More like one-kick dwarf.

[mirrizin]

Apparently one of my dorfs is Chuck Norris.

More like one-kick dwarf.

At least a black belt in Taekwondo, clearly. Especially with the "spiralboots."

Good grief, why didn't I notice that irony sooner...

[Libash_Thunderhead]

Let me see, 10 human poets, 1 goblin poet and 1 goblin herbalist!
Hey guys, we have spies.

Madness, that goblin herbalist just wants your hemp. All of it.

Because why else would a carnivorous species become focused on a plant-based profession?

Never mind, they are dead now.
It seemed there was a bar fight and the humans killed the goblins.


--------
Edit*
I reloaded an old save and found the human poet beating up the goblin poet while both meditating on theft.

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Edit*2
They were all decent warriors actually, poet was just the title displayed in civilian mode.