Udib Oarmountain, manager, bookkeeper, and broker of Silvershrines, looked over the elvish caravan's trade goods with a critical eye.
"Let me get this straight, Master Elf," said he to the elf trader, "You want me to give you 3 stone crafts,
and a masterwork sterling silver goblet crafted by our master metalcrafter Stukos Wadedrope, and you will in return give us a small pile of assorted fruit?"
"Yes, that is my offer, Master Dwarf," replied the elf.
Udib rubbed his temples. The elf smelled of sunshine and greenery and it was giving him a headache. "You, uh, don't see any problem with that offer?"
"Oh no, Master Dwarf. What problem could there possibly be?"
"ha. ha. You want me to give you an insanely valuable piece of art crafted of priceless metals and shaped by the hands of a legendary dwarf....for fruit? You do realize that I could just walk outside and pick up my own damn fruit off the ground outside? Your trade goods are practically worthless. I'll give you these stone crafts, and I'll even throw in some old raggedy clothes for that fruit, but you most certainly are
not getting a single silver goblet for such a trivial thing as fruit. Not even if you went out and gathered all the fruit from the forest outside."
"But, uh, we're offering
exotic fruit you couldn't find around these parts, Master Dwarf. Surely that raises the value of such commodities by--"
"Do you want our old laundry or not, big ears?" Udib gruffly interrupted the elf's petty attempt at salesmanship. He was getting fed up with these hippies.
"Alright! Deal! Deal!"
"Excellent." Udib rubbed his hands together in satisfaction. "Now, about that grizzly bear in the cage over there..."
Little story based on the latest attempt at trading with the elvish caravan. Little shits literally gave me a "superior proposal" which wanted a silver goblet priced at over 1300 dorfbucks for about 100 dorfbucks of fruit, not including the stone crafts worth ~130 dorfbucks that I originally offered for the fruit.
Really dislike the elf caravan now. Used to like them for the raw cloth I could get, but now all they offer is grown clothing, some berries, and the occasional dangerous animal.