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[Skuggen]

My mayor banned figurine export just as the caravan was leaving the map. He's only ever been concerned with war hammers and armor racks before!
9 dwarves now await punishment, including a master and legendary weaponsmith.
One of the ones assigned to receive 2 hammer blows from the hammerer is... the hammerer.

[Skuggen]

Tried giving the hammerer a spiffy new hammer, but she swapped it out for a silver one to smack a farmer in the foot. How do I get her to use the correct one for punishment?

[Magnumcannon]

i dug staircases

[Foxite]

4th Hematite, 60

A vile force of darkness has arrived!



Soooooo gobbos I see you sent your training dummies again, I assume you wouldn't mind their heads sold to the elves again-

WHAT THE FUCK

38 INVADERS!?!?!!?!!!!?!?!!!?!?!???!!!?!!!!?!!?!

Yeaaaaah we're at war with the goblins.

This is going to be so much fun.


And it was. Over 80 deaths, 7 trances, and half of my militia was killed. This is largely because the marksdwarves did absolutely nothing besides vomit in the 5 towers spread around the area.

Well, my FPS was already in the basement of hell anyway, and I was starting to get bored of this fort. For the sake of your minds I am not going to mention what my FPS was during the counterattack on the goblins. (UCHHUM ZERO POINT TENTYFIVE FPS UCHHUM)

Time for a new one, and with a civ that is not at war with the goblins.

[Foxite]

My mayor banned figurine export just as the caravan was leaving the map. He's only ever been concerned with war hammers and armor racks before!
9 dwarves now await punishment, including a master and legendary weaponsmith.
One of the ones assigned to receive 2 hammer blows from the hammerer is... the hammerer.

I would love to see how that goes.

[Kuikka]

Human diplomat visited my fort, and I wondered a moment if my fps had suddenly jumped into 999 because I saw human law-giver run at amazing speed across the map. But then I noticed his sluggishly moving guards lagging behind...

Turned out that he was a vampire who just had a nice drink. Sigh.

[Skuggen]

Human diplomat visited my fort, and I wondered a moment if my fps had suddenly jumped into 999 because I saw human law-giver run at amazing speed across the map. But then I noticed his sluggishly moving guards lagging behind...

Turned out that he was a vampire who just had a nice drink. Sigh.

Better than having a thirsty vampire visit your fort


My important dwarves got away with their hammerings with nothing more than bruises, even though the hammerer insisted on using a silver warhammer. Good thing she has zero training. She even fell over after hitting one of them
5 of them will be stuck in jail for the next 5 months or so, though.

[Skuggen]

Whoops. Forgotten beast made of sand managed to sneak in. Killed four children and a manager before a fifth child tore it in half. Not sturdy, but it sure had a powerful kick.

[Kuikka]

Human diplomat visited my fort, and I wondered a moment if my fps had suddenly jumped into 999 because I saw human law-giver run at amazing speed across the map. But then I noticed his sluggishly moving guards lagging behind...

Turned out that he was a vampire who just had a nice drink. Sigh.

Better than having a thirsty vampire visit your fort


My important dwarves got away with their hammerings with nothing more than bruises, even though the hammerer insisted on using a silver warhammer. Good thing she has zero training. She even fell over after hitting one of them
5 of them will be stuck in jail for the next 5 months or so, though.

He drank my war dog dry of blood, so he was thirsty 

Speaking of vampires, I failed operation Frosty. I didnt know how i could get water to freeze in that drowning chamber so I made a tunnel to the lake and opened the roof. Vampire crawled out, climbed 20 levels up from a pit that surrounds the lake and... was welcomed by a guardsman's fist at the door. They are not SO useless after all! Vampire broke its leg so now it's in the hospital and I locked the door. 1x1 room with a door and bed.

Any better ideas? I need to get rid of that thing.

[Broseph Stalin]

Weren't you the "don't you see, the fun was inside you all along" guy as well?

I love so much that I'm that guy.

[Thisfox]

and I locked the door. 1x1 room with a door and bed.

Any better ideas? I need to get rid of that thing.

Wall off that room. Forget the ward ever included Room 404.

Pity it doesn't have a table and chair, you could use it as your bookkeeper/manager for ever after.

[Eric Blank]

You can dig out and furnish a better suited chamber down the hall, seal off the area from other dwarves, put the vampire in a squad and station him in the desired chamber, and lock him in there. Once he's locked in you can allow access to the area again.

Wait, this is a human diplomat... uh, put him in the bottom of a well with a spike trap in it, stab him until you get a pool of blood in the well water, and feed that to a couple of dorfs. Then make one of them a dedicated record keeper.

[Broseph Stalin]

I think my civ is rebuilding. When I started we had a king, now we have a general and a baron too and I got a third migrant wave.

[Kuikka]

You can dig out and furnish a better suited chamber down the hall, seal off the area from other dwarves, put the vampire in a squad and station him in the desired chamber, and lock him in there. Once he's locked in you can allow access to the area again.

Wait, this is a human diplomat... uh, put him in the bottom of a well with a spike trap in it, stab him until you get a pool of blood in the well water, and feed that to a couple of dorfs. Then make one of them a dedicated record keeper.

The human diplomat was a vampire, but he visited my fort, drank blood and ran away. I wonder if I imagined but it didnt say human law-giver vampire until it drank blood in my fort...

One vampire existed before him (http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=15096.msg5832565#msg5832565) as i trapped her into a room that i filled with water. Now I ponder if these two vampires have some connection... annual visits from a vampire diplomat and people start to turn, hmm... Sneaky bastards.

The problem with preparing another room for the vampire is that she's most definitely thirsty when she can walk again, and darn me if I let her kill any more my elites. It seems I need to wall off that hospital room then. But since she received only half her punishment (50 kicks and puches, where the hell was my hammerer??) as 200 days in prison awaits... if she would be caged before she manages to kill, I could move the cage around...

[utunnels]

My human vampire diplomat hasn't done anything bad yet.
Maybe I'll kill him when I'm bored, but I do like their caravans.