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[Koremu]

A Forgotten Beast has entered the cavern Labyrinth below Beautysteel. It has set about the resident cave swallow men and massacred them, but beet seriously wounded in doing so.

Arm up the squad, we're going in.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Well, after waiting a year at over 180 population, no goblins came.  So, I decided to drain my moat into the dining room and start a new fort.

[Lich180]

Necro siege with the dwarven caravan. Wasn't very large, and there are a few undead still out there, but nothing major. Caravan guards beat back the horde, and made it inside to trade. We are sealed up now, only means of entry is by air. Time to get the caravan exit built!

[flabort]

Someone just accused a Ranger of completely draining this poor Siege Engineer of blood. Obviously there is a vampire in my midst.

My first dwarven vampire! 

Looking at some other dwarves as a control group, and the Ranger accused, even the ones that used to be members of other civs/sites don't have a history as long as him. He is a "former member of" 49 different civs or sites. I'm guessing he's my man. Time to set up the prisons. Time to take a look at the wiki for advice in an area I haven't had experience, actually.

Edit: He has 5 relatives on site. Plus a wife. Fortunately no other close friends.
Edit2: Nevermind, I took the different color to mean on-site. Just means still alive. No on site relations or friends, even the wife's off-site. No-ones going to mind if I kill him.
Edit3: And now he's just sitting there on a shrub, "gathering" it but not moving. He's adequate, but a novice herbalist came and went with another shrub nearby like it was nothing. Glitch? Maybe. But I'm going to take advantage of his inactivity and wall him in. Keep him trapped.

[LoneChipmunk]

First post here, and I see no reason not to make it an immortalization of a few noble dwarves who may or may not have gave their lives during a seige.

Vucar Kolmemed, Speardwarf
Vucar, fighting to kill a number of invading Trolls with his squad, fell off the bridge into the canal below, and faced off against a large army of mace goblins and their elite bowman leader. With his trusty iron spear, he injured many before dying, having only given ground after both of his legs were broken, and even then he kept on stabbing shins and feet until they finally killed him.

Catten Uzolunib, Queen Consort and Swordsdwarf
Armed with her trusty bismuth bronze short sword and the latest in leather armor, she waded into combat, slicing and severing her way through a squad of sword goblins, acting as the last bastion against the attacking army. She now is captain of the guard.

Kubuk Bardummelbil Bembulgecast II, Hammerdwarf, militia commander
After getting out of bed half way through the seige, Kubuk helped to finish off the remaining gobos in the fortress courtyard. All I can say about him is:
     That is a lot of blood.

tl;dr: Decided to take on a seige instead of locking down and waiting. After letting in a few trolls and dispatching them, the sword goblins that wandered in snuck in some trolls and ended up causing quite a problem, killing over half of my military, and turning my fortress courtyard into a bloodbath. Luckly, the other gobo squads decided that getting locked in with a bunch of crazy dwarves wasn't their cup of tea and once I finally killed the last troll, the rest of the seige left the map. Several of the survivors now have some rather long names, like Sibrek Tekkuddur ikthagmesir Sedish, Marksdwarf
Time to get to melting the goblin gear

[Solon64]

This game always finds ways to amuse me.

Playing Civ Forge mod and the High Elves had just arrived at my blood-drenched tundra (freezing Terrifying biome, but somehow I lucked out and it neither reanimates corpses nor draws in undead to pay my fortress a visit.  Literally all I have seen for two years are Giant Stoats and Arctic Foxes.  Oh, and Horned Owl Men.  I was ready for the undead hordes too, airlocks, redundant gates, dump all my butcher refuse into a pit into the caverns, the works.  Simplifies my fortress management greatly although perhaps it isn't exactly the point of embarking on a terrifying area.)

I thought that all the high elf traders had arrived so I closed my airlock to trade with them.  Then, hark!  A high elf wagon late to the party inside.  So I order the outer airlock lever pulled again to let them in.  Unfortunately (for them), the bridge opened.  On top of the wagon.  I didn't even realize what had happened til I noticed all the merchants scattering (Hey wait, come back!  I thought we were friends!).  loo(k) at ground.  Pile of goodies!

Right about this time my Militia Commander went into a fey mood.  His highest moodable skill being carpentry, and nary a single tree or log on the map, he immediately ran for the crushed wagon.  Now, he didn't grab pine wood, or larch wood, or oak wood, oh no.  He felt like being dwarfy.  Thus, Leremtvuth Onshen Medtob "Pantscandals the Chant of Blockading," the wagon wooden cabinet.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is studded with bismuth and decorated with wagon wood and rubber wood.  This object menaces with spikes of cat leather.

I immediately placed it in the trader's depot airlock area.  This, foreign visitors, is what happens to those who displease me.  We destroy your wagons, harvest their delicious wagon meat, and make cabinets out of them.

I don't know why it's called Pantscandals and I've decided it's probably better not to ask.

[MaximumZero]

That cabinet is, of course, where you store only your most scandalous pants.

[Orange Wizard]

Nonsense is occurring in Horrorfurnace! A vampire is eating my dwarves! I've organised a very painful torture device for this cannibalistic bastard. Basically, he will sit in a room full of water being repeatedly poked by wooden spears, while puppies are rained in from the ceiling to be drowned and impaled. This will continue until he dies. Or, preferably, forever. I want to drive the bastard to insanity. Then I will unleash upon the elves! Who bring nothing but sodding clay!

I used too many exclamation points in this post. Too many.

[fungee]

Nonsense is occurring in Horrorfurnace! A vampire is eating my dwarves! I've organised a very painful torture device for this cannibalistic bastard. Basically, he will sit in a room full of water being repeatedly poked by wooden spears, while puppies are rained in from the ceiling to be drowned and impaled. This will continue until he dies. Or, preferably, forever. I want to drive the bastard to insanity. Then I will unleash upon the elves! Who bring nothing but sodding clay!

I used too many exclamation points in this post. Too many.

You're wasting your precious sample for this? Why not build a separate fort for vampiric super soldiers that will clean up in case of a !!FUN!! accident in the main one?

[Lich180]

We have had our first forgotten beast invasion.

As the main ramp was being constructed down through the first cavern level, a giant rattlesnake with poisonous bite and wings. Orders were given to abandon the ramp, and civilians fled upwards to the safety of the main fort while the military rushed down.

The beast smashed apart a mechanics workshop and 3 mason shops before getting bored and heading up to the main area. The militia met it head on in a narrow staircase.

The first few attacks smashed its teeth out, punctured its lungs, and chopped off its wings. No casualties were reported, unless you count the beast bleeding all over the place in its death throes.

Forgotten beast chops for all!

[Loud Whispers]

I just noticed that among other Dwarves, I can convict the Elf diplomat, deceased Kobolds and Goblins, captured Humans and Were-creatures of murdering one of my Dwarves.

What to do.

[MrWillsauce]

I just noticed that among other Dwarves, I can convict the Elf diplomat, deceased Kobolds and Goblins, captured Humans and Were-creatures of murdering one of my Dwarves.

What to do.

You get elf diplomats? Did you mod in a workaround or something, or are you just playing an older version?

[Loud Whispers]

I just noticed that among other Dwarves, I can convict the Elf diplomat, deceased Kobolds and Goblins, captured Humans and Were-creatures of murdering one of my Dwarves.

What to do.

You get elf diplomats? Did you mod in a workaround or something, or are you just playing an older version?

DF hacked the fix around thing. I'm fine with modding and hacks and the like if it adds to the difficulty. Should I convict the diplomat of killing a were-civet Dwarf for science? I know who the real killer is, but it's tempting.

On the one hand... The elves did bring me Giant Desert Scorpions.

On the other hand... Convicting the elf diplomat of murder is just brilliant, and I honestly hope to see my Hammerer jail the diplomat on the edge of a quarry.

Is there any way to end wars? I wouldn't want to permanently lose my only source of scorpion power.

[Koremu]

I honestly hope to see my Hammerer jail the diplomat on the edge of a quarry.

A better option would be a chain in the middle of a tree farm. Or between a wood burner & a carpenters shop.

[Gentlefish]

It probably won't spark a war unless relations are already strenuous. So you're likely safe in doing so.