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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 6220720 times)

Splint

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25275 on: September 06, 2012, 01:28:52 am »

Someone's stupid pet guineacock was mauled by crundles and a stoneworker somehow killed himself. not sure how the fuck they managed to get stuck ona walkable place, but I have a pair of coffins and slabs being made. Guess I need to make a lesser pyramid for pets now...

Niccolo

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25276 on: September 06, 2012, 02:44:04 am »

Update: I believe I just had an extraordinarily dwarfy stroke of luck.  My militia commander began tantruming (along with many others) and he picked a fight with the metalcrafter who was strange mooded, punching him around a bit.  This appears to be enough to snap my metalcrafter into sense, and he has grabbed another piece of bone and resumed working on his artifact.  Praise armok!

So you mean basically this happened? (Other comics are NSFW)

My digging projects are coming along nicely. I've reached the 'existential' phase of the fort, wherein I begin experimenting with stuff. I'm currently experimenting with the fancy-schmancy minecarts, since I haven't actually played a fort since before they were introduced.

I got a very fancy chain out of a mood; it's nothing amazing, but my dungeon will look damn amazing with it. Pity the jackal attached to the chain got in a fight with a wolverine.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2012, 03:27:33 am by Niccolo »
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What's wrong with using magma? That's almost always the easiest method.
I have issues channeling it properly to do that method. I end up flooding the fortress with magma.
Check out my RtD!

Splint

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25277 on: September 06, 2012, 03:04:02 am »

Another godsdamned siege! Are my exports of bone crap and worn out clothing really that nice? Well it doesn't matter. Most of the siege decided it'd be a good idea to congregate under my main gate and has since been turned to sticky bloody paste on it's underside, with the humans (who have been standing in the same spot for nearly a year now, and who I was hoping would leave with this year's humies) shooting anything that wasn't dwarven that slipped through the single lonely row of traps designed for snatchers. most of the current trap renters were catapulted into them the second time the bridge was raised.

Yes I feel like I'm cheating, but this is too damn funny for me to care, JUST because they were dumb enough to congregate under the bridge. Oh and several trolls died when they got flung off the glacier and a dog is chewing on one's head in the depot. oh and i also seemed to have pissed them off enough to warrent thier war leader to lead this attack, so once the majority of the siege breaks and runs; one entire hammergob squad and thier sergeant got squished, the remains of a second are running like hell  because the rest got squished, and a team of swordsgoblins and the war-leader is leading his men right into the bridge, which I have decide to call Dreamsmasher The Ender of Goblins, two armed human marksmen, and five irritated speardorfs. And to get up there they have to pass six irritable marksdorfs all laden with masterwork forgotten beast and elkbird bone bolts. Oh, and a kobold got dagger'd to death by a squad of knifedorfs (I have piles of fucking daggers so I thought "Why not?")

On the nonmilitary side, a kid made a waterbuffalo bone shield in a possession (I wish it were fey or secretive so I'd have another bone carver  :( ) a mason accidently'd himself due to poor planning for my irrigation system (I fogot one part of a pump is impassable) I got a breeding herd of Draltha, The Frosty Picks have become experts in elk bird taming, some giant moles have grown to adulthood, and someone's pet guineacock got mauled by crundles, prompting a pet cemetary to be built below the current burial pyramid.

And a fine comic you linked Niccolo, a fine comic indeed. Because that "muse" was funny as hell.

EDIT: After most of the force being squashed or mauled by angry spardorf skirmishers, the war-leader and his escort promptly said "Fuck this" and decided that attacking a glacier was possibly the WORST fucking idea he ever had. Two dwarves were seriously injured, as was one fo the fucking stupid human guards who i was hoping would die and propt the rest to leave.

Overall though I'm impressed with my speardwarves. They had a crappy combination of:

1. No armor, just thier civvies.
2. Homeforged copper spears or pilfered iron ones
3. Almost no ranged support.

Only tow were injured, one of whom will need a crustch because she suffered motor nerve damage in her leg after she almost killed a the last goblin officer in the area (did manage to make him a paraplegic though.) A pair of swordgoblins are currently fleeing for thier lives while the rest are fighting desperatly for thier lives or are being punched in the head.

Scratch that. The two that are running are still running, one is currently commiting suicide by marksdwarf, and the rest are dead.

tahujdt

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25278 on: September 06, 2012, 06:27:16 am »

This is totally off topic, but I know that Bay12ers are intelligent, kind people with good spelling. My question is, What The HFS is Herobrine? The minecraft forums are full of trolls, hacks and people who pronounce "lulz". I have found everything from "He is fake" to "he is a ghost in the minecraft code, who deletes any posts about him from the forums". Does anyone know?
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Niccolo

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25279 on: September 06, 2012, 08:07:09 am »

This is totally off topic, but I know that Bay12ers are intelligent, kind people with good spelling. My question is, What The HFS is Herobrine? The minecraft forums are full of trolls, hacks and people who pronounce "lulz". I have found everything from "He is fake" to "he is a ghost in the minecraft code, who deletes any posts about him from the forums". Does anyone know?

What the hey? That's a segue and a half.

Herobrine is a bit of myth. When Notch was still working on Minecraft, Herobrine was a bit of a running joke where each of his update logs would have a bullet point saying "Removed Herobrine". It's basically just this silly thing of his (I think a glitch or something spawned a human) that went a little too viral.
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What's wrong with using magma? That's almost always the easiest method.
I have issues channeling it properly to do that method. I end up flooding the fortress with magma.
Check out my RtD!

Splint

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25280 on: September 06, 2012, 08:18:12 am »

Metalworker got possessed and made a helmet. While he was gathering materials I consulted DFhakc: No legendary armorer for me. Stupid possession. Got a nice helmet out of it though. made from some of our few iron bars, and decorated with hanging rings of clear zircons and spikes of iron. It is called "The Gates of Martyring." The only way that helmet could have been better is if it had pictures of goblins and trolls being smashed by my front gate.

Finally got rid of the yetis, prisoners, and giant worms. We've come across a bumper crop of female naked mole dogs and The Frosty Picks are now "Quite Knowlegable" in training/taming of the strangle little creatures.

Got sieged again, and simply began to hammer the front gate lever to kill enough of thier men to make them fuck off on home. Missed two godsdamned caravans and got zero migrants to replace my so far five dead, probably soon to be a few dozen due to infections; somebody is hoarding the soap I was able to make somewhere, and despite multiple people being set up to perfom medical shit, the wounded weren't seen to in a timly manner except a guy who only needed stitches and all but him developed an infection.

Oh and one of my macedorfs is now legendary crutchwalker and a competant practitioner of mace-crutch warfare.

Caprealis

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25281 on: September 06, 2012, 11:38:50 am »

Dropped the first layer of the plains, I now have a large rectangle fortress, with a small boarder 3 tiles wide, And two, Two tile pathways going over the now 3z deep gap.

Right after the 5 minute lag/Unresponsive DF/Potentialcrash
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sorry for the large picture.
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malimbar04

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25282 on: September 06, 2012, 01:52:26 pm »

Finished my oak-block fort enclosure. It'll help, but not fix my problems with sieges I'm sure. wha ha ha.

But now I'm in a little tantrum spiral. Why? Because of stupid udnead dwarves. No, not my dwarves turning undead, but by the undead unnamed dwarves that necromancers bring around. They are cluttering my entire coffin supply, and it's become difficult to find areas to put coffins for the dwarves of mine that have died.

Edit: Screw coffins, all dead are now being dumped into the hole. We can memorialize the ghosts later.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2012, 02:01:06 pm by malimbar04 »
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Splint

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25283 on: September 06, 2012, 02:05:00 pm »

Several snatchers slipped in through a tower sonsctruction site. And have since been shot/ savaged with a pickaxe. Got an elite marksdorf out of it and laid someone's dead bird to rest. The farm stations will hopefully be ready soon, a few grats for access still need to be installed.

Another snatcher was spotted, and is now being horribly bludgeoned to death and shot at the same time.

Eric Blank

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25284 on: September 06, 2012, 03:18:29 pm »

The dead walk! Hide while you still can!

They never stopped shambling around, murdering everythign with impunity. The goblins still haven't sieged yet. I need them to.
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Splint

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25285 on: September 06, 2012, 03:26:37 pm »

I'm giving serious consideration to just killing these godsdamned humans sitting in my depot space. I can foist the junk I sold them on the elves and the next caravan, providing the goblins will let a wagon-bearing one arrive, as EVERY SINGLE SIEGE as disrupted caravan time, and you know what? What fucking difference will a human siege make? it'd be refreshing change of pace from the goblins.

Hell I'd actually be glad to see a forgotten beast or more giants. Anything to change up the current mess of ntohgin but goblins whom I now sacrifice to Dreamsmasher The Ender of Goblins the ice gate.

hjd_uk

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25286 on: September 06, 2012, 04:14:41 pm »

"A Human caravan has arrived"

with a Diplomat with big shoes and red nose.

"A Vile force of darkness has arrived!"

Its popcorn time...

An Axegoblin squad is attacking Tacnu, the "Fatal Grave" - bware its poisonous vapours.

Awesome...
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ZzarkLinux

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25287 on: September 06, 2012, 04:20:48 pm »

"A Human caravan has arrived" with a Diplomat with big shoes and red nose.

An Axegoblin squad is attacking Tacnu, the "Fatal Grave" - bware its poisonous vapours.

It looks like a clown, but it might be Sideshow Bob disguised as a clown ...

Looking forward to the results of the investigation :)
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Splint

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25288 on: September 06, 2012, 04:49:22 pm »

Decided to have my marksdorfs eliminate a mess of pond grabbers. Almost lost a dorf because the pump swept them into the canals, and the only reason they didn't die was a miner finished getting a drink and channeled them a way out. The lesson here is to make sure the canals are fully grated to avoid drowning your own people. Also almost accidently the wel level because the channels overflowed during the water transfer.

A cave croc attacked three people and failed to kill any of them because, while injured, they were all wood cutters and scared it off with repeated axe induced injuries. It is now awaiting taming. Also a bunch of kids are getting close to adulthood (come next year at least three shall join the hauler corps because I'm out of picks) and a kidnapper offed a kid by accident.

Oh and one of the woodcutters who got injured is evidently one hell of an optomist: lower spine and both legs busted and he's absolutly fuckin' ecstatic.

hjd_uk

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #25289 on: September 06, 2012, 05:17:01 pm »

1."The diety breathes a cloud of armadillo devil extract vapor!"
2. A bunch of gobbos dodged or blocked it but two are unconscious with bruising all over their bodies.
3. The diplomat just bit a Goblin in the lower left leg and the part sailed off in an arc.
4. Goblins can't land a hit on the diplomat.
5. Interlude -> A human caravan Yak Bull gores The Troll in the upper body, bruising the muscle and the lung. The Yak Bull bites the Troll. It latches on firmly. It shakes the Troll around by the right upper arm, tearing the muscle and bruising the bone, an artery has been opened, many nerves have been severed and a tendon has been torn. The troll give in to pain.
Also : A human spearman just managed to lodge his spear in a Troll's tusk.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I imagine the Marksdwarves just kicking back on the ramparts with a mug of plump-helmet wine enjoying the show.

6. LOL, the diplomat, who is ever so good at evading enemy attacks, just dodged into the defensive pit.

There's a lot of dancing and not much fighting around the Diplomat :
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Basically the vapor might cause bruising (i think) but thats it, and the Diplomat is too uber to get hit by anything (more or less) and yet has only inflicted one direct attack (the bite) in 5 pages of reports.

At least its a good show.
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