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[Greiger]

I have built a minecart track from an ore collection point to the magma forges.  It is built entirely of ramps. not a single tile of flat ground til it gets to the ore dump.  I set the thing to ride downward, so that the dwarf would theoretically push it back up immediately.

On a whim I decided to set a camera follow on the cart before it was sent on it's way.

My GFPS couldn't keep up, I think I completely missed seeing an entire cavern level.  The cart went down 25 z- levels in roughly a quarter of a second at 50 fps.  I don't think things can even fall that fast.  Also since it spirals downward more often than not to take advantage of thin cavern pillars, I now imagine a thin layer of vomit covering all the ore at the bottom, from the poor dwarf along for the ride.

[Lawlton]

Just got a message about a draltha giving birth. 100 z-levels below my deepest dig site.

What. 

Also: Hello, all! Just decided to join in the merry-making on these forums.

[Greiger]

Congratulation on the newborn!  Amazing what dwarves can sense through miles of solid rock isn't it? 

Welcome to the forums!

[Splint]

A botched rectangulkar kill order cost Hugo his shield hand, a she went after a stuck caravan guard for no real reason after decapitating two emu men. Assigned Zanzetkuken to patch him up, and evidently the guard wasn't from my civ and just a hired goon from elsewhere, as it caused no loyalty issues. Hugo has lost the title of Soldier and is now professioned as Sergeant Cripple, due to having a useless hand and therefore possibly needing to be danger room trained to be able to survive on the battlefield when the modbolds come since he needs his sword more than a shield. he will remain Sergeant Cripple until he earns a ltitle.

And Lawlton, welcome. In celebration, one of the male children destined to become a swordrunt will be named in your honor.

[Gamerboy4life]

I had just locked the traders in the depot because they were assholes and refused to give me some cloth to cure my sickly dwarves.

They eventually went insane, and I have set up an observation room just behind the depot for my dwarves to come and watch the caravan guards rip their limbs off with crude weapons. My sickly dwarves are now laughing at them for being total assholes.

Holy shit fuck yes.

[Lawlton]

Strange. My traders and caravan guards never seem to leave the depot, despite a perfectly good path. They show up, trade, and sit there until an attack.

Now, personally, I don't mind, because they happen to be muscle-bound shit wreckers that have ended sieges for my weak little dukedom, but it just feels strange to have 20 heavily armed dwarves/humans hanging out at my entrance, along with about two year's worth of caravan + my own fortress' crap trade goods.

[Gamerboy4life]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand bad news.

A lot of my laborers and one of my better metalsmiths are in there.

In the carnage.

But... it won't be much of a loss now seeing as how they are all either melancholy or berserking, and there are a shitton of medical supplies in there, plus mithril, several anvils, etc.

A worthy sacrifice. They will be forever remembered. 

[Teneb]

I can't get my defensive wall complete because my mason keeps trying to build the last wall tile while standing in said tile, then complaining that there is a creature on the tile. If something gets in, she'll be the first to be sent as fodder.

EDIT: And now a racoon has stolen the block that was being used for the construction. I'll have to work on some kind of torture chamber soon.

[Broseph Stalin]

I can't get my defensive wall complete because my mason keeps trying to build the last wall tile while standing in said tile, then complaining that there is a creature on the tile. If something gets in, she'll be the first to be sent as fodder.

EDIT: And now a racoon has stolen the block that was being used for the construction. I'll have to work on some kind of torture chamber soon.

Yeah the update that was supposed to make masons less retarded just made them retarded in different ways. If a dwarf tries to build a wall standing directly on top of it all the other dwarves will decide they should probably try it the exact same way unless you cancel the build order then put it back.

[NRDL]

I've got a neat fort going, "Brassbrightness" and I've struck the blue metal.  I was literally tensing up every time my miners broke a piece of the spiral, waiting for the demons to pour out.

There was this one idiotic kid who made a raw adamantine statue of the queen of the civ, a wife of a night creature I think.  This unforgivable waste of the precious metal has earned the kid the nickname, "Outcast McPoopface".  I'm building a starvation chamber, which I'll trap the kid in.  That'll teach him not to mess with me and my precious adamantine. 

[Darkening Kaos]

NRDL, why not make him a candy-guard?
Station him there, wall him in, do something, but keep him close to the action.

[NRDL]

Yeah, he's not military.  And the child just fell into the trap! 

...I'm starting to get worried.  Us Bay12ers love saying we're sadistic egomaniacal freaks, but actually doing this thing, it's rather creepy. 

[NRDL]

Okay, I'm getting the "Needs distillable item" thing.  My fortress is thirsty, the water is frozen, what can I do to fix this? 

[Darkening Kaos]

Hmmmmm...

Gotta be more careful when I order those up/down staircases deconstructed, seems even ragged socks can be mighty weapons!

[Reudh]

So half a sock hit him in the pelvis and bruised him? Blimey, it must be so encrusted with grime that it must've been as hard as rock.