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[Broseph Stalin]

Or he really, really likes hematite.

He was in the metalworks, there was a stockpile overflowing with hematite ten urists away but he went down eight flights of stairs and walked about squares to a 400 pound piece of hematite, then hauled it back, then got another and repeated.

He made a pair of iridium Knuclke Dusters called Fencedents covered in spikes and pictures of how awesome it is worth 200,000. The other artifact weapon is a pick made from the bones of our enemies wielded by my militia commander called Ruledsounds the Painful Tattoo covered with pictures of the fortress being founded in sapphire. I have the sneaking suspicion that my dwarves are fucking metal.     

[Skullkid]

Funny one : I could'nt resist to open my drawbridge as the invaders were packed just under it. It killed half of them, but the other half went in and a significant number went into my fortress. Some civilians got killed and injured, some of my military as well, including my militia captain. The invaders finally fled.

Here's the fun part : all of my 16 hospital beds were occupied, with my militia captain being in one of them. As his three children and wife were killed in the assault, as soon as he recovered, he went stark raving mad, and proceeded to punch EVERY SINGLE DWARF laying in a hospital bed, most of them having lost the ability to stand or being unconscious. With a single hand, and a single punch each time, he managed to kill all of them before being himself killed by the militia.

I just can't shake off my head the picture of a dwarf going to a bed, saying "TAKE THAT !", throwing a massive straight in the head of a dwarf in a vegetable state, then going to the next bed to do just the same. Sixteen times.

[Squanto]

I've been looking through the hundred statues I just made and trying to figure out if I have ANY that aren't depictions of the rise of momuz mirrorfliers to position of bookeeper in my fort...

[Flying Fortress]

*Snip*

Wake up in a hospital, find out your wife is dead, and get really really mad...remind you of anything? lol

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu3LMrXcqjI&feature=fvwrel
Couldn't find one like this without voice dub, still sounds good though

[Broseph Stalin]

My dwarves can't be bothered to wear their armor so they keep getting severely injured in the danger room. Waxworker recruit decided he didn't want to wear his gauntlets. As soon as he sets foot in the danger room both arms are torn open by spears. To avoid cancellation spam when he can't do anything I ordered the dwarves to drop bins full of metal bars on him.

[Caprealis]

Using the burrow/Mood trick.. I now have a scepter worth 4.3million.
There is three pictures of the scepter on the scepter, And two related to the founding of the fortress, And one of a Hydra, Giant tick, A maple tree and a few gems.

I can't wait till the next mood.

Other then that.. Food piles are full, Fortress is now protected from fliers. The metal industry is overflowing with electrum bars.

And now I have a pit full of small animals. And about 5 dwarfs hunting for more.

Also, 3 z planes are cleared out.. One soil plane and 2 stone.

And on top of the volcano I built around. I now have a mine cart launcher. Not sure what to do with it yet though..

 

[MadocComadrin]

Started using wheelbarrows for weapons

My brain stopped processing after reading this and immediately pictured a Legendary +5 Misc Object user wacking people with a wheelbarrow. And now I'm off to the draw your adventure thread!

[Skullkid]

What's going on in my fort right now ? Well, not much anymore...

Note to self : never dig a z-level above an adamantine chimney, even if it looks like the chimney is'nt going that high.

Edit : ENGLISH NO NATIVE LANGUAGE ME

[Splint]

Started a new dwarven fort which I may abandon soon because I dislike the location (I have a seering urge to build a stoneware block fortress. I have claimed a copy of DF and a computer, but still sketching pictures of a volcano/near-surface magma pipe. I know where it is but it's way underground and Splint no like that.)

But anyway, we caught a female giant raven and there's three, soon to be two, more flying around, one of them disrupting collection of the female and rearming of the cage. So I dispatched my two soldiers who'd already handily turned a grasshopper of epic proportions into delicious protien-based food, they've more or less crippled the annoying one. Soon it shall be made into delicious giant raven roasts. Honestly I expected better from giant birds. Oh well, I can always breed them for meat in the long run.

[Jacob/Lee]

RED ALERT


Maybe the army of zombies will kill him.

[RLPudding]

had my very first tantrum spiral today, yay. it was a very very very small spiral, but it nevertheless led to the abandonment of my fort. maybe i could have carried on, but one should end it, when the !!FUN!! ist the most
here is the short story:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I can only guess how the fall of my fortress Dreamcaves began. It probably started with the appearance of the minotaur Cog Goryconfused, the Shady Pusses. He arrived in late automn of 141. The whole military was sent out to deal with this evil foe. They managed to kill the beast, but 3 dwarves were lost in the fight, killed by the minotaur.The inhabitants of Dreamcaves were not allowed to take a breath, for goblins attacked the Fortress. The Onslaught of Striking began! Tired and wounded from their previous fight, the dwarves managed to defend their home. In this fight, 26 dwarves lost their life. Mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters were killed. A few remaining dwarves threw a tantrum, two went berserk and had to be killed. The administator thought, that the worst was over, but little did he know, what one tantruming child would unleash. He only got the report, that one child had destroyed a building somewhere deep down in the fort. But it was not only a simple building. The child destroyed a hatchcover to a cave, which was discovered month before.
 
Without this cover, the forgotten beast Zagstok Dungsyells, the Wicked Murk made could make his way into the fort. A gigantic skinless theropod with three long hanging tails and a poisonous bite, unleashed onto a thriving dwarven population. Once the intruder was spotted, the military, heavily decimated was sent out. Accompanied by their wardogs, they threw themselves on the beast. They wounded the beast as best as they could, but penetrate his muscles. The beast was unstoppable and went on a rampage.
 
While the beast was fighting the brave military, the fled survivors from the Onslaught of Striking attacked! These goblins killed all the farmanimals, before stepping into traps. So without a military, farmanimals and a rampaging beast unleashed from the underworld, the dwarves from Dreamcaves decided to abandon the Fortress.
 
So Dreamcave fell in the late winter of 141.

[Splint]

After reneabling invaders (I was wondering why they weren't attacking) I have nearly finished my Furutre nobility's manor above the settlement. A few glass windows and some more jet blocks for the roof and it'll be done.

I walled off the upper portion of the surface and deramped as much as I could, along with clear cutting the forests to finish outfitting two barracks and all the living quarters, and make an overabundance of fuel. Made use of the little mountain of coals with a little raw fiddling, so as far as fuel I'm set for the forseable future. Even got some soap made. Canceld all fishing labor so I could seal the top of the map, and have begun quarrying belowground (Well below infact to avoid upsetting the elderly workers) so i can finish my perimiter towers and wall off the the southern approach, forcing both caravans and invaders to fight on my terms: Right down the middle upagainst the full brunt of the defense force and it's crossbows , dogs, jaguars, cyotes, and iron swords. Also the duke misplaced his shoes, so more are bing made and a farm plot watered and made to give us an overabundance of cloth, since we're still a year from the yearly elven cloth dumping.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Well, I have only gotten to autumn of the current year, and there is caravan chaos.

The elven caravan came through without a hitch (aka. seized all goods after they wouldn't give me what I wanted.)  The next caravan is where... it started

The dragon worshiper merchants came to my fort, soon followed by the human merchants.  The worshipers arrived at the depot first, then came the humans.  I was waiting for my broker to arrive at the depot, when I noticed the all out brawl between the two groups, which escalated when the human wagons arrived with their military forces.  The worshipers transformed into dragons at some point and the dead bodies began to stack up.  All the worshipers died and humans ran for the hills (must've been a dispute on who got to trade ).  They left everything behind, so I consider it a win.

That autumn, a mage caravan came, and unloaded their goods.  I had all intentions to trade with them.  Then came the kobold and one of my dragons breathed fire at it, taking out the bridge to the mainland as well (I built my fort across two of those peaks that are just higher than the surrounding area in mountain biomes, with the slopes destroyed leaving access only by bridges).  The fire spread, burning the mages to death along my trade depot, and many of the goods left behind.  Then another kobold came by, causing a dragon to burn the bridge between the islands.  In the depot are the only bars of metal in my fort, which are required by a dragon that has a fey mood.  I am now running low on water because it is the dry season, and I only have two units of beer in the fort (dragons don't need beer...except in these situations).

Between those two a fire burst launched at a kobold caught a dragon on fire, and caused it to run in circles on the mainland, but not burning the dragon itself due to the scales.

Yeah, I am having ALOT of !!fun!! around there.

[Splint]

Welp, a hastily erected obsidan wall (brought some in case I needed to make swords in a pinch. Most of them got used as mood marterials now.) due to a mishap in reshaping a pond, block production slowed, but a second apartment complex has been erected, anticipating the migrant onslaught when I up the population. The Manor is finished, all the watchtowers roofed and soldiers training diligently. A coati wandered in and got machingunned by three hunters, almost all of the ponds have been reshaped, and a portion of the river, the only way into the settlment besides from below if I go into the caverns oncemore, was reshaped into a lake, so realistically speaking I've probably ruined this place's ecosystem.

Oh, wait.... I need to wall in the Baron's manoryard.... THEN there will be no entry but througha  horde of soldiers and dogs.

Fall and winter came and went, cause I forgot I traded with home this year, so the next cloth shipment should be in soon. After each siege, when they finally begin arriving, I will name a champion based on kill count and maybe name my best animal trainer dungeon master/ Townwatch Commander (I've got a small plethora of obsolete positions since I copied these raws from an older version of DF.)

Also, ZTG, that was funny as hell to imagine: Merchants coming to blows over trade rights resulting in a case of "We accidently your caravans."

[Togre]

Just got my first non-useful artifact.  None of them are too awesome, but until now they all could be used.

I had a millstone (ok, not in use yet, but it could be)
a silver cap, a leather shield and a bone right guantlet (that's one pimp-a-lious squad captian)
and a throne (i forget what kind, but it's the center piece of my dining room.

and then a bone bracelet.

1/6 crap drop rate?  Not bad.