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[Broseph Stalin]

Wut

"Wait wait wait wait! I can't get the armor over my head!"

One of the new recruits at Axeclutched turned out to be a little bit of a badass. He only got to test his mettle against animal men and a few giant hornets but he was so much faster than the rest of the squad he'd usually mopped up half of the enemies and had begun chasing down the rest. He racked up thirteen kills when a baby was snatched from its mothers arms. He beat the squad there by a mile and buried his axe into the elf's leg. It swung around and hacked into his left forearm and then his right hand severing nerves with each stroke. He couldn't fight anymore but the elf couldn't escape on one leg. The fight was lost but the child was saved. Looking over his relations I discovered the baby he saved was his own. Not exactly a hero but Kadol Ringlashed The Former certainly earned his own room.

His baby punched a giant fly in the face and it killed him, then his wife was torn apart by a named giant kea trying to save our only artifact she died in the hospital because nobody could be bothered to sew her face up even though i enabled the skills on everyone. His family is the worst combination of valiant spirits and shitty fighters.


Edit: Keas came back and stole the artifact, not only does this family suck at fighting everything they try to protect is ultimately lost.

[DTF]

"Some migrants have arrived." 51 of them. 21 children.
I've seen worse, but I am currently focusing all my dwarfpower digging out a massive magma piston and thus haven't improved my infrastructure yet - I have literally NO SPACE for any of them: my dining hall is like 6x4 in size, I have 12 beds. Since I've embarked on a freezing biome with no trees, I dont have even remotely enough wood for beds (wth can't you make them out of metal anyway?). Time to unseal the caverns and get some fungiwood, I guess.
 I could use new haulers, but 21 children... Off to build an atom smasher and queue up slabs/R. 
A great leatherworker and a great hauler trapper (Woooooo!) are the most useful ones among all of them. Ah and 4 fisher dwarves. Maybe the pondgrabbers can take care of those.

[Lagslayer]

"Some migrants have arrived." 51 of them. 21 children.
I've seen worse, but I am currently focusing all my dwarfpower digging out a massive magma piston and thus haven't improved my infrastructure yet - I have literally NO SPACE for any of them: my dining hall is like 6x4 in size, I have 12 beds. Since I've embarked on a freezing biome with no trees, I dont have even remotely enough wood for beds (wth can't you make them out of metal anyway?). Time to unseal the caverns and get some fungiwood, I guess.
 I could use new haulers, but 21 children... Off to build an atom smasher and queue up slabs/R. 
A great leatherworker and a great hauler trapper (Woooooo!) are the most useful ones among all of them. Ah and 4 fisher dwarves. Maybe the pondgrabbers can take care of those.

A thought occurred. If you don't want to fish in the caverns, can you thaw the surface water with magma and still get fish?

[Broseph Stalin]

The asshole started spamming cancelled store owned item because he has no hands so I sent him out to fight a poisonous snake naked. He got that glitch where they won't die and the snake spent almost a month biting him in the face till I sent someone out to help him, as soon as the snake died he bled to death.

[DTF]

The asshole started spamming cancelled store owned item because he has no hands so I sent him out to fight a poisonous snake naked. He got that glitch where they won't die and the snake spent almost a month biting him in the face till I sent someone out to help him, as soon as the snake died he bled to death.

The snake probably strangled him too hard. Unconscious victims sometimes bug out and cannot die until they regain consciousness for a brief moment. At least that was a bug from earlier - seems like toady didnt fix that one yet.


@magma and fishing:
Probably, but still: my fortress will eventually be so deep underground (50+ z-levels to the surface) that I never bother with fishing. All the fish I need I get from caravans. After a while I drown in food anyway, so... also the surface is at z 99 and the magma at -15; I'm certainly not building a magma piston or a pump stack just to fish in a permafrozen ocean. Although that would be kinda dwarfy, it isnt really spectacular and I have bigger things in mind.


Some of the kids that are younger than 11 years or do not have fantastic attributes keep wondering why everyone calls them "SMASH". They think it is a compliment...
Anyway there are new toys for you boys and girls down that corridor - go get em, but only one of you at a time and close the door tight behind you! Good riddance.. ehh have fun!

[Broseph Stalin]

The snake probably strangled him too hard. Unconscious victims sometimes bug out and cannot die until they regain consciousness for a brief moment. At least that was a bug from earlier - seems like toady didnt fix that one yet.


@magma and fishing:
Probably, but still: my fortress will eventually be so deep underground (50+ z-levels to the surface) that I never bother with fishing. All the fish I need I get from caravans. After a while I drown in food anyway, so... also the surface is at z 99 and the magma at -15; I'm certainly not building a magma piston or a pump stack just to fish in a permafrozen ocean. Although that would be kinda dwarfy, it isnt really spectacular and I have bigger things in mind.


Some of the kids that are younger than 11 years or do not have fantastic attributes keep wondering why everyone calls them "SMASH". They think it is a compliment...
Anyway there are new toys for you boys and girls down that corridor - go get em, but only one of you at a time and close the door tight behind you! Good riddance.. ehh have fun!

Snakes aren't actually capable of strangling, it's more likely that the paralysis had the same stasis effect.

[crazysheep]

Gearedsoldier is now a barony! And for some reason, I can now appoint a champion!

In other more mundane news, elk birds and crundles have now joined the legions of animals my trainers will attempt to train.

EDIT: Our animal trainers now know a few facts about crundle training

[Broseph Stalin]

... crundle training

Worst exercise video ever.

A weasel woman brilliantly decided to free the dragon I have caged outside as a bomb. The first thing it saw was of course a weasel woman and started breathing fire all over the damned place. Everything is burning.

[Splint]

Nothing fancy showed up at my settlement..... Just a single male opossum we caught. So, in preparation and in an attempt to domesticate opossums as an exercise for taming cavern beasts, I'm gonna see how long it takes to breed opossums. And then see if there's a way I can tame vermin fish so I can make an artificial fishing spot.

[Dorfimedes]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Amusingly, one of the migrants that came to my fort shares a name with a company that makes online MUDs. I nicknamed her in tribute of their most popular game, which I had a lot of fun with for a while.

[Vodrilus]

Spoiler: An inappropriate design. (click to show/hide)

I just realized that my new space-efficient-ish tower design lends itself to an inappropriate (or religious) symbol.


Edit: typo

[Dorfimedes]

Spoiler: An inappropriate design. (click to show/hide)

I just realized that my new space-efficient-ish tower design lends itself to an inappropriate (or religious) symbol.


Edit: typo

Architect rebelling over measly booze rations?

[Vodrilus]

Architect rebelling over measly booze rations?

Plausible. The monotony of dwarven wine is alleviated by import beverages only so often.

[loose nut]

Exciting New Dwarven Construction Follies

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There is no reason he (my expedition leader, btw) should have gotten up there. Never built a path to there. I'm not sure, but I think he might have been constructing a door where those two gaps are.

[Splint]

I decided to be a cheap bastard and forced a goblin thief to have two kids with dfusion. I wanted to expieriment with having the goblins wandering the town, and they seem awful taken with the caged FB all the human kids seem to enjoy poking with sticks.