Towercontrol has just faced its first goblin siege.
It was horrendous. The towers did not control anything.
First, I cage trapped a large portion of my entrance area, having to enlist the help of the 50 lazy bums in the meeting room, who were there because I couldn't be bothered to assign their professions anyway. They largely succeeded here, trapping up the path from the bridge to my fort's front entrance.
Hoping to entice the goblins, I lowered the bridge...
Queue a Urist McHunter and Urist McFisherdwarf swarm sprinting over the bridge to freedom, pants on head.
Oh balls. I tried to limit the damage by immediately pulling the bridge up. Whilst I watched my hunters being mercilessly butchered, I had to unpause the game about 6 times, once due to a vampire killing and 5 times due to the prolific birthing rate in my fort.
The goblins seemed happy to mill around on the opposite side of the river from my bridge, so I dug under the river to the opposite bank and set up a collapsing room. Just at its completion, I zoomed up to the surface to see they'd suddenly gone up the mountain to shoot down at my dwarves in the walled-off compound from above. I knew I'd forgotten to do something.
Dwarves stuck in limbo as they are frightened off, then try to do their assigned task over and over again, and still 8 more births. Babies born in tunnels, dining rooms, bedrooms, breweries, and Armok knows where else. All of this as a result of the useless migrant swarms.
Frothing at the mouth somewhat, I entertained the goblins by lowering bridge to draw them to the collapsing pad.
Queue another swarm of Urist McHunter and Urist McFisherdwarf running outside with bullseyes on their heads. Ohgodwhy...
Finally widening the collapsing room enough, I felt satisfied. At least I'd be able to get my revenge finally....
Then the goblins just left the map.
AND ALL THE WHILE MORE BABIES EVERYWHERE
!!FUN!! was most definitely had.
Rumour has it that after the great slaughter at Towercontrol, the crazed overseer, in his delirious state after being responsible for the loss of so many dwarves, attempted to rectify the mistake by ordering a series of support columns to be built under the dining hall as a memorial, and declaring a great feast. "Bring the children!" he shouted. "Yes, definitely bring the children..."
Nobody has heard from Towercontrol in a while.