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[monk12]

A vile force of darkness arrived; this was pretty confusing for me, as the last squad they sent all died in the large-scale drowning trap coloquially referred to as "Gravegranite's only entrance" and I absolutely cannot understand how throwing more troops into it is supposed to fix that.
Unfortunately, there was a slight technical difficulty on my end (by which I mean "I forgot which lever started the doompumps") and, while I was ordering what I thought was the watery-death-lever to be pulled and wondering why nothing was happening (which, incidentally, was because the lever, in fact, did not operate the doompumps but rather a set of submerged* spike traps**), the goblins managed to make it to the end of my entrance and let themselves in to my fortress, after which they immediately began to chase after my defenseless civilians while I prepared for a massacre-induced tantrum spiral and ordered my military to get off their copper-plated asses.

After the carnage had ended, I was left with a grand total of 0 killed, 0 injured, 21 iron bars worth of meltable goblinite equipment, 300 zillion rotting gobbo parts to clean up, and a suspicion that my fortress is occupied by some kind of catastrophe-preventing voodoo spirit.

* No, they aren't supposed to be submerged. Fortunately, they are located in a part of my fortress that no being has any earthly reason to enter, so it doesn't really affect their performance either way.

** I *think* that's what that lever did. I honestly don't know and have no way of testing which doesn't risk flooding my whole fortress.

I lol'd- out of curiosity, how skilled were those warriors?

[the woods]

A black bear wandered inside my new woodland/rocky wasteland flat terrain fort, trampling right through the wooden corkscrew traps and got nearly to the food stockpile when a passing stonecrafter punched the bear in the head repeatedly, backpedaling it to an axedwarf and then going to work. The bear tore open a fisher's right hand while the axedwarf killed the bear by beating it in the head with a wooden shield. The axedwarf is pretty happy with himself right now. I'm trying to move up to glass traps but these fuckers keep appropriating the bags before I can sand up, and it looks like I can't make traps out of gold, the only metal I've found so far.

[Mr Frog]

I lol'd- out of curiosity, how skilled were those warriors?

Mostly Talented/Accomplished speardwarves and macedwarves, with a couple of hammerdwarves. Their equipment is composed entirely of copper and about 20% of them have Armor or Shield User skills above Dabbling. There were also a bunch of archers giving support, but they didn't actually hit anything so they don't count.

This still fails to explain the roomful of defenseless civilians whom the goblins charged at and completely failed to injure.

[Pad]

I've been attacked by a minotaur even though my fort wasn't one year old. Too bad for him, I had just finished putting in place my danger room, even though my forges are still not spitting weapons, so he got slowly beaten to death with the wooden training spears left from the danger room construction (he still had the time to kill a fisherdwarf before, but -heh- these guys are live baits).

[Shininglight]

Setting up my military in steel armor and weapons, hunting for coal as i'm almost out and steel production is almost about to stop. Drove off a snatcher and have the outer walls designated, just waiting now for the last details to come together.

[Reudh]

The dwarves have felt a strange, curious draining sensation.

Whispers they have heard sound like 'DeeEffTooMineCraft'.

Something about the overseer wanting to visit the fort in person.

[Johuotar]

I keep failing to make use of archers. When next bush comes Ill just order them to throw their corpsws to the gobbo spears. My tower of joom was waste of dwarfpower, no on ever shoots with their xbows.

[Mr Frog]

Okay, so the humans have apparently decided that the repeated massacring of their poorly-guarded caravans at the hands of the killer trees inhabiting the woods around a fortress which had never even asked for their service is all my fault and have sent a squad of archers to express their ire.

Fortunately, it would be very difficult for them to fire arrows at my dwarves while they are sealed inside a rapidly-flooding corridor, so if they ever decide to quit standing around with their fingers in their posteriors and head into my entrance hall, I still won't be too worried.

EDIT: My bookkeeper just decided that now would be an excellent time to run out into the wilderness and take a bath in a murky pool (the perfectly-usable well indoors apparently not being to his taste). The siegers promptly showed him why this had been an even worse idea at the time than it usually already was.

[malimbar04]

Siege -  raise the bridge and set the alert for everyone inside the walls. No problem.

Uh oh... they have goblins riding giant bats? Apparently they're dumb bats that can't figure out how to fly over my two-story walls. Theyneed to see a guy it looks like, so I'm luring them one or so at a time for practice to my dwarves. It's not too hard to kill a bat, and not too hard to slaughter teh goblin taht falls off. Shame though... both of my marksdwarves were injured. One was injured by falling off the wall on thew rong side... though by some miracle his bolts scared off the goblins that were there. ha.

[AJARTCGA]

I've finally managed to hold off goblins without any deaths on my part.
It may have on been an ambush, a one squad ambush at that, but it's a start.
The only injury I had was a metal crafter that was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The squad leader was a bowman and he got one lucky shot off. Spilled the metal crafter's guts. She made a nice green trail on her trip to the hospital. Heh

[MAurelius]

Siege -  raise the bridge and set the alert for everyone inside the walls. No problem.

Uh oh... they have goblins riding giant bats? Apparently they're dumb bats that can't figure out how to fly over my two-story walls. Theyneed to see a guy it looks like, so I'm luring them one or so at a time for practice to my dwarves. It's not too hard to kill a bat, and not too hard to slaughter teh goblin taht falls off. Shame though... both of my marksdwarves were injured. One was injured by falling off the wall on thew rong side... though by some miracle his bolts scared off the goblins that were there. ha.

It will be so epic in like 20 years when the game is advanced enough that we might actually see waves of bat riding goblins tear toward the fortress and get dropped in a hail of crossbow-fire from the hundreds (yes hundreds) of marksdwarves on the walls - with flaming arrows...oh yes.

[Mr Frog]

A moody swordsdwarf went berserk and ran into my dining hall!

Where he utterly failed to so much as hurt anybody and was soon torn apart by 23 soldiers, two black bears, and a guineahen.

I seem to have the safest unsafe fortress in dwarven history.

[the woods]

It will be so epic in like 20 years when the game is advanced enough that we might actually see waves of bat riding goblins tear toward the fortress and get dropped in a hail of crossbow-fire from the hundreds (yes hundreds) of marksdwarves on the walls - with flaming arrows...oh yes.

If you embark with war on the elves, they ride giant animals into your base to take the traps for them and be meatshields. It seems like you could mod grizzly bears and giant moose et al to be able to fly. I don't know anything about modding, but they're pretty fun already if you don't abuse too many pathing bugs.

About flaming arrows, a lot of monsters turn to smoke when they die (bogeymen). Something similar with expended bolts doesn't seem like too big of a stretch. Hopefully in the new update we can have wizards shooting little fireballs that function like a flaming arrow.

[raptorfangamer]

trying a semisurface fort with a quarry on a semivanilla world, I had Urist Mcstupid dead, but at least that will let Urist Mcmilitia commander mine, that obviously means he will be even stronger on a reel battul.

Edit: I found stibnite for the first time, and I thought I already knew about the stone variety on this game

[AJARTCGA]

I just got through my first siege. No injuries.
I was rather scared. Fifteen crossbow goblins led by a spearman. I let my militia hide behind the fort's outer wall while my new dodge-trap bridge experienced its first real test.
Five crosbow gobblins fell to their death. Another crossbowman and the spearman fell and went uncosious, letting my militia train a little. The rest ran off when the leader fell.
I think I can call it a success.