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[Eric Blank]

I've had a recruit in traction for about a month more than two years. After every siege, I would look down in the hospital to check up on the total number of casualties, and every season I'd see this guy and think "meh, another new recruit got a papercut and cried himself a river down into the hospital. Really need to find time to stuff them in the danger room for a few weeks." Unfortunately, my attention span has left my military one dwarf short of the estimate the past two years, as for some time this kid has been stuck in traction. He never even MET anyone: zero relationships. His only thoughts are of recieving food, water, and resting, and he has no real combat experience besides the cut he got on his leg two years ago. Worst of all, the poor bastard hasn't had the chance to sample our fine local ales even once! He's been sober the whole time! Will he even remember his name? Anything about his time here before the injury? Has his time in this coma consisted of nightmares about whatever horrors he witnessed in battle? OH ARMOK WHAT IF HE CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT BOOZE IS!?
Well, he's the only dwarf in the fortress that hasn't felt haunted by the dead recently, so that's a plus!

It's my fault for not noticing, but I'd expect the doctors to at least remember they have a patient in there wasting extremely expensive, masterwork roasts! Sadistic bastards were probably experimenting with the effects of alcohol deprivation on him!

And so his life begins anew after being rescued by some sad little farmer. And what's the first thing he does? Suit up for his first visit to the danger room, and subsequently break his arm and go back to the hospital, and is ecstatic about being rescued recently. I don't quite feel bad for him anymore...

[Loud Whispers]

I just modded in lobster rage fists. They are monstrous.

My fisherdwarves, they frighten and awe me.

[jamesadelong]

I've had a recruit in traction for about a month more than two years. After every siege, I would look down in the hospital to check up on the total number of casualties, and every season I'd see this guy and think "meh, another new recruit got a papercut and cried himself a river down into the hospital. Really need to find time to stuff them in the danger room for a few weeks." Unfortunately, my attention span has left my military one dwarf short of the estimate the past two years, as for some time this kid has been stuck in traction. He never even MET anyone: zero relationships. His only thoughts are of recieving food, water, and resting, and he has no real combat experience besides the cut he got on his leg two years ago. Worst of all, the poor bastard hasn't had the chance to sample our fine local ales even once! He's been sober the whole time! Will he even remember his name? Anything about his time here before the injury? Has his time in this coma consisted of nightmares about whatever horrors he witnessed in battle? OH ARMOK WHAT IF HE CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT BOOZE IS!?
Well, he's the only dwarf in the fortress that hasn't felt haunted by the dead recently, so that's a plus!

It's my fault for not noticing, but I'd expect the doctors to at least remember they have a patient in there wasting extremely expensive, masterwork roasts! Sadistic bastards were probably experimenting with the effects of alcohol deprivation on him!

And so his life begins anew after being rescued by some sad little farmer. And what's the first thing he does? Suit up for his first visit to the danger room, and subsequently break his arm and go back to the hospital, and is ecstatic about being rescued recently. I don't quite feel bad for him anymore...

You know, if he can't remember what booze is, that simply means he gets to be introduced to the miracle twice in a single life. Armok has mercy upon those who fight in his name.

[Jacob/Lee]

Is there some command to make your soldiers follow a creature without killing it? This is the third year in a row my liaison has died and I want to become a barony...

[Jenniretta]

Goblins followed the dwarven caravan in, they chased off the diplomat but the merchants made it down safe. Sent out my military to tryn and handle them, lost a few recruits, most of my military is in the hospital because of a pair of pike wielding goblins. The Mayor, who was head of my group of axedwarves, chased an ambush group to the middle of the desert and died a slow painful death at the hands of a mace wielding goblin.
Overall, it could have gone better, but oh well, the only ones who seem too unhappy are the military members who are hospitalized, so they can't do much harm just yet, by the time they can throw a tantrum they'll feel better because of the attention from the doctors.

I should train my military better, but I like to train them in combat really, the survivors become champions, while the dead fill up our surplus of copper and nickle sarcophagi.

[Zaroua]

I'm filling up a huge cistern with 3 water pumps at 3-4fps. One million units of water huge.

Turns out that 3 pumps aren't enough to fill up a cistern that covers an entire 4x4 embark. Even with temperature off, the water dries off before it gets to covering half of the bottom level.


I did some !!SCIENCE!! (of sorts) and embarked on a freezing tundra with no trees/plans. Started out almost everything in booze, no mining picks, no food and a few ewes and a ram. The idea was to see how well a cheese industry can feed dwarves. The answer is pretty poorly. But that's the boring part.

So I'm completely out of booze, dwarven caravan comes along and has like 4 barrels for me. As the human cavaran comes, my dwarves are all dehydrated and they've started dying of thirst/tantruming. So I try to trade off some of the biscuits I made from butchered male muskox/reindeers (embarked with some stones, had cage traps in traffic areas so I'd get a bunch of wild animals). But then I realize that all of my food is inside barrels I can't sell. No problem, I tried forbidding the food and sending the barrels to the trade depot so I could send the food for trade so I could buy some desperately needed booze. Unfortunately, between deaths, tantrums and dead brokers, the merchants were about to leave. So I used the only option left available to me: I sent my 17 dwarves (or at least that's how many I had before they started dying; 1 died previously from fighting off a polar bear) to punch the beasts carrying the cavaran's stuff. Long story short, a muskox is apparently a hell of a lot harder to kill with punches than a polar bear. And while all my dwarves were dying of thirst trying to punch this one muskox to death, the caravan guards and the traders just SAT THERE and LOOKED at all my dwarves dying of thirst, throwing tantrums and trying to punch a muskox to death. And I bet they were laughing their asses off at the crazy, half naked, freezing dwarves doing some of the most insane things the humans had ever seen.

Next fort you can bet that there's going to be a lot of dead humans.

[Broseph Stalin]

Is there some command to make your soldiers follow a creature without killing it? This is the third year in a row my liaison has died and I want to become a barony...

They can't follow the liason but you can station them nearby with s-a-m, you will however encounter the same problem that plagues all fortresses- dorfs are stupid. Your liason will run away from the enemy instead of running to safety so he'll probably run in a circle around the map.

[Jenniretta]

Well, canyonmartyrs just started to mine out the spoilerite vein we found, we dug straight down a ways checking for anything a bit off about it, after delving a few levels into the spire we decided to stop chancing it and make use of the parts we can get to before delving any deeper. New stockpiles and workshops are being built to process it as we speak, while the weapon and armour smiths continue to pound out steel masterpieces to keep their skills well-tuned for when the precious ore is ready for the forges.

[Eric Blank]

NOPE

You know, if he can't remember what booze is, that simply means he gets to be introduced to the miracle twice in a single life. Armok has mercy upon those who fight in his name.

That's... Actually a really optimistic view of such things.

[MasterMorality]

Someone was using the Artefact Badger Bone Bow, and was killed by an Illithid right inside the fort inner entrance. It is covered in Illithid gigaflare and has been emitting smoke for about a year now.

An migrant wave arrived and was drafted. one of them is an axeman who is better than the highest ranking military leader, and proceeded to demonstrate this nicely in a sparring match. The leader, I might add, is no pushover. Things are going nicely. Excavating the caverns, and preparing a breach when I have a full second squad of Cavern guard who will train, not only by themselves and with each other, but also on any wildlife that happens to wander in. Their lives will be brutal, but they will be legendary and feared.

Other than that, the fortress has been pretty quiet. Some good trade with the merchants, very few sieges as of late (watch when i unpause this, the Nord caravan is followed in by 'a vile force of darkness'....)

Edit: what do you know - two forces!
A lot of werewolves with dragon raptors and sand lions.
And a lot of goblins.
If it's anything like last time, they won't kill each other - which is extremely irritating.

Meanwhile, two of my military have just wandered out of the fort.
One was that amazing axeman I was telling you about.
He is now caught between a Goblin Hammer Lord and a lot of soldiers, and a veritable tidal-wave of werewolves and assorted wildlife.
I had high hopes for him. Now I'm pretty convinced he's screwed. Royally.

Well, the drawbridge went down too late, the axeman charged off in the other direction and is now hiding in the hills with two other Borioth civilians, nearby a random herd of camels.
The Low Gore, Capis, with his Red Steel Two Handed Sword, stood in the centre of the entrance, and held off the two armies, then reinforcements arrived but there are too many of them.
Capis has lost his sword after being stabbed in the hand...
Still got two soldiers sleeping.

Aaaand the person responsible for pulling the lever to close the bridge is about two thousand Z levels below where the lever is.
Wut.

Now the enemy pour into the small, malformed corridor of death. I don't think my traps are enough.
And that stupid gigaflare thing was the reason I couldn't rebuild a second bridge. Arrgh.
The werewolves were driven away by my rampaging pikeman, who collapsed from exhaustion.
Emergency drafting.

The bridge is up. Cuts the goblin force in half...

Not enough. There's a spearmaster rampaging his way through the fortress with a bunch of goblins. I fear this is the end of Stolengrowls.

Nope. Through some persistence, my Borioth managed to clean up the whole damn thing. Down to 31 population, but we're alive. And my fortress is a charnel house.
Ooh god the micromanagement after this is going to be horrific.

[Broseph Stalin]

One of the nastiest forgotten beasts I've ever had. A giant flying blob of vomit that spit toxic vapors that caused rapid necrosis. Instantaneous necrosis, my dwarves died of blood loss before they could even reach the hospital ten feet away.

[Broseph Stalin]

I had an entire migrant wave mob a cyclops without weapons because I couldn't open the gates while it was alive, I figure their dead either way so what's the big deal? They killed it. How you ask? Because someone knocked it unconscious early in the fight, with his fists. I have given him the job title "Punchmaster" and made him captain of the guard, he won't carry a weapon because he has to kill fast and sword is too slow.

[Jimmy T. Malice]

My miners dug into the first cavern layer and were immediately attacked by a Giant Toad. I had no military, but fun was avoided by quickly establishing a squad of 3. They were later killed by a Cave Crocodile.

A craftsdwarf went into a strange mood later and crafted a figurine of some god out of dolomite, encrusted with more dolomite.

[Cydonian Monk]

SmithTemple is approaching its 100th anniversary.  The last two decades have been hard for the fort, with most of the original seven founders and the seven migrants passing from old age.  Our beloved and legendary militia trainer (and universal friend) Stinthäd was most recent to pass, at the impossibly old age of 168 years.  It's hoped that our founder and expedition leader Rīsen will survive to see the anniversary, but all including Rīsen agree this is highly unlikely. 

The first dwarfs of the third generation are being born in SmithTemple.  None of the second generation have ever seen the sky, and it's unlikely any of the third will either.  It's also been more than a decade since SmithTemple had any interaction with either the human or dwarf caravans.  Many of the caravaners question the logic of the yearly trek to the deep Artic when most return without profit or gain.  The nearly 1,100 year long war with the elves continues, though their armies have not been seen for a generation.

SmithTemple is the de-facto MountainHome, and is the last free home of the race of dwarves. The fort itself is a free city, with the royal bloodline dead for 750 years.  (It is assumed that Thikut, the first freeborn of SmithTemple, and his progeny will make a claim to nobility once Rīsen has passed.  The elder dwarf has been refusing the title for 96 years.) 

Not all dwarves would chose to live in SmithTemple, but all are welcome.  With luck the next 100 years will be as prosperous as the last.

[MountainGnome]

Steelconjured just died a noble death trying to add magma rivers into the fortress.  I accidentally caved in a large structure over the volcano garbage dump killing 4 dwarves in the process.  Massive tantrum spiral ( one guy started at least 10 parties in the past year, so everyone liked him ).  On a side note though, I did find out that if you have a dwarf on a platform that caves into a volcano it reveals the magma sea and nearby spoilerite veins!