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[CatalystParadox]

*Urist McUnskilledLabor wandering outside gates exactly as he isn't supposed to be*

Suddenly, a Goblin Ambush!

*Gates close*

*Urist McUnskilledLabor runs home and bangs on the gate* Open up! Open up!  Help! Let me in!

*Gate Opens.  Urist McUnskilledLabor has been crushed by a drawbridge.*

[thepowrofcheese]

My last fort was going smooth, until a bugged save forced me to abandon it. So I decided to reclaim. Not 3 seconds after arriving, I find a Forgotten Beast with boiling vapors inside my barracks, eating a Batman. My two axedwarves and a few dogs manage to kill it, but not before being hit with an infection that causes every single body part to swell, bleed, and rot off. Both soldiers died and all of my cats and dogs are slowly rotting to death, spreading miasa around the entire fortress and pissing off all my guys.

[Eктωρ]

I'm making a Hobbit-burrow town called Dancehero, the houses are pretty fancy.

[MenacesWithSpikes]

Warm climate, temperate forest biome.  No snow or ice to deal with.

I've had a couple of goblin ambushes/sieges, but at a dwarven population of 201, NO Forgotten Beasts at all!  Not even a semi-megabeast or similar form of Fun.  This is in a world with a short history, so most of the FBs should still be around.

My embark has both iron and flux.  Maybe not quite as much iron as I'd like, but I have enough for now.  Just recently dug down to the caverns.  Hoping to find a Forgotten Beast or two there...

I've made some aboveground buildings/towers, but no real feats of engineering yet.  The biggest danger to my dwarves so far would be the Hoary Marmot Bone Item mandates from my mayor.  (I'm willing to take suggestions on how to keep my dwarves from dying of thirst while in jail, since none of my idle dwarves actually bother to bring water to the prisoners.)

[Greiger]

Weaponsmith mood, not using adamantine for any normal things but I keep an addy stockpile next to the forges for weapon or armor moods.  Weaponsmith takes a single addy wafer and makes a crossbow.  Not an ideal use of it, but an artifact crossbow is an artifact crossbow, I am happy.

Then the game crashes a month later, seemingly some squad stationing crash.

Now instead of a weaponsmith getting a mood, it's the captain of one of my squads.  Who is claiming a craft workshop, and is likely to make nothing of use out of gabbro and is demanding bones I have to butcher one of my animals I had other plans for to get.  I am sad.

[Vic Romano]

While trying to decide a fate for some unfortunate goblin POW's, I realized that a goblin on an single raised floor is unable to move, but is easily visible to everyone around.  So I chose the most armor-clad goblin in the pack, a female with a hammer I believe, and trapped her on a single raised tile.  Now my crossbow users no longer have to use boring old archery targets, they just take potshots at an immortal goblin in a living hell.  Pages of red injury text, but its been months and she shows no sign of the sweet, sweet release death would bring. 

God dwarves are assholes

[Urist Da Vinci]

While trying to decide a fate for some unfortunate goblin POW's, I realized that a goblin on an single raised floor is unable to move, but is easily visible to everyone around.  So I chose the most armor-clad goblin in the pack, a female with a hammer I believe, and trapped her on a single raised tile.  Now my crossbow users no longer have to use boring old archery targets, they just take potshots at an immortal goblin in a living hell.  Pages of red injury text, but its been months and she shows no sign of the sweet, sweet release death would bring. 

God dwarves are assholes

Best part is that they gain XP from shooting, not from hitting her, so making her harder to hit is better for training, and suffering.

[PwndJa]

Working on a pump stack. Never done one before. At first I was going to set up camp at the magma but that's 80-85 z levels down so I decided to bring it to me instead. One thing lead to another and there are now nine glass furnaces in my dining room and various other related workshops, specifically wood furnaces for fuel and clothiers shops for bags stuffed wherever I can fit them(My miners are all tied up with the related preparations right now so I'll have to go without.). Waiting on the construction of the workshops, I decided to tear down the walls of a wooden bridge I made in the beginning for the entrance to my fort.(I'd already replaced the actual bridge with a more shiny marble model). So I designated the walls to be torn down. I watched them do it just in case(Terrifying embark + them outside). Suddenly, I got a cavern collapse message. Zooming to the location I find that it's my bridge: The wooden floors had been removed previously leaving nothing but the edges of my river supporting the structures. My dorfs, of course, decided to take the corners off first. The wall section crashed into the river and the resulting havoc left clay all over my shiny white bridge. "But what of the dorfs?" I thought, checking the river to see if the cave-in knocked any of them off the bridge.

Now to go on I need to explain my migrant tradition. The useful ones get jobs and the worthless ones(I.E. High-Master cheese maker and I'm not fucking with cheese this fortress) get their profession changed to peasant. I keep a limited amount of peasants on hand as haulers(In this case 10 of 50 were peasants as I was filling out jobs. The number will be higher next season) and if I go over a certain limit I kill the weakest ones of the bunch. They know it's nothing personal.

So there were 2 dorfs in the river drowning as dorfs do. They were peasants. But not just any peasants; They were the ones I was planning to kill.

Tis the will of Armok that the weak perish.

[nauticus]

The elf caravan went berserk during a siege,their mule kicked one of my civi and a recruit to death plus bitting off the right lower arm from my weaver/metalcrafter.

[Teronsuke]

After deciding my last fort could just go to hell, I genned a new world and threw a fort down on the first non-aquifer zone with metals and flux. So far I've found both Tin and Copper, which makes me think that Bronze will be the flavor of the day until I start finding some Iron ore of some variety.

Fun side note: random name generator gave me Craftedmatches founded by The Axe of Cremations.

[AWdeV]

First caravan arrived in new fort. Along with a flock of rhesus macaques. Bastards managed to nick a few gems before being pulverized.

[warwizard]

  First hostile encounter for a new fort, megabeast Minotaur shows up, and shortly picks a dwarf outside to chase, I look at the Dwarf, recently married to my militia captain, friend to half the fort, this is NOT going to end well.

  I Draft half a dozen miners and woodcutters to help my militia captain fight the Minotaur, and they go rushing out, I've not found metal yet so they have no armour, and not very good weapons, and one by one they meet the Minotaur, (recruit miner swings and the minotaur dodges, minotaur charges and attacks and gores the recruit in the head, shattering the bone and driving it into the brain... repeat 3 times... meanwhile a hunter has been taking pot shots with a stack of coper bolts, gets a single lung hit, and runs off for more bolts, the Minotaur is slowed down some and delayed/distracted by some dogs, before picking another dwarf to chase. The militia captain for some reason does not enter the field untill now, Minotaur finishes off the selected dwarf in time for the militia capt and 3 newly recruited marks dwarves to arrive nearly together, true to form 2 of the new recruits rush forward to melee the minotaur, one ends up suffocating and the other gives into pain but the minotaur is unable to finish her as the 3rd marks dwarf manages to make the minotaur dodge out of melee range and the militia captain shows up with a +silver Mace+, the pair fight and move some 20 spaces, the minotaur takes a couple of bolts to minor areas, and a kick to some toes, but has pain from her injuries, and tries to hobble away, being chased by the militia captain, who still was unable to connect, till the minotaur finally passes out from the pain and 4 mace to head hits later, is dead.
  Militia capt is estatic, she took joy in slaughter recently, she watched a friend die, she took severe woulnds recently, she suffered the loss of a spouse recently, was caught in a snow storm was married recently.. and about 3 more negative thoughts and a good dining room visit.
  Musta been quite a wedding night for her to still be estatic.
  The rest of the fort started a tantrum spiral, once it got going really good, the elves show up to trade, unload their stuff, and a tantruming dwarf knocks down the trade depot.
  I build a 2nd trade depot in a less travelled part of the fort and the elves move to that depot and set up shop to trade, offering a large blank space on the trading floor. I have 5 stacks of cheese roast delivered and offered, and the elves depart estatic with the success of their trading.
  Two seasons pass and I now have meloncoly and madly gibbering dwarves walking around, with monthly beserk raging dwarves. One beserk miner manages to kill several dwarves including one tantrumming dwarf, and then picks this madly gibbering dwarf to die next. and the Mad dwarf wins the fight and goes back to gibbering and sheading clothes. Who knew how dangerous the insane (non hostile) dwarves could be?

[nightwhips]

"This is a forgotten beast leather short skirt. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with cacao wood and encircled with bands of clear zircon and granite. This object menaces with spikes of llama wool. On the item is an image of a mussel in forgotten beast leather. On the item is an image of Tirist Murderfloor the dwarf and dwarves in clear zircon. Tirist Murderfloor is surrounded by the dwarves. The artwork relates to the ascension of the dwarf Tirist Murderfloor to the position of queen of The Nourishing Merchant in 192."

First off; why make a short skirt on A GODDAMN GLACIER. Second, why does the skirt "menace with spikes"? Third, how the hell do you make spikes out of llama wool anyway, and how in any way are they menacing? Fourth; WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE A USEFUL ARTIFACT FOR ONCE DID THAT CROSSBOW REMOVE ALL OF YOUR USEFULNESS FOR ETERNITY HUH HUH HUH?!

Dwarven lingerie?

[Gyvon]

I'm barely 6 days into year 2 on this lava-less fort, and a fuckin' werewolf siege just came and smothered my dorf's in massive fun.  There's currently one survivor, a dwarven child hiding under his bed.

[Urist Imiknorris]

I have 487 nakkadile hatchlings. They're all getting stuffed into a cage.