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[Eric Blank]

@ farmer: Indeed it did.

The announcements page shows that I was butchering livestock at the time so I probably ignored it as another butchering. On top of that the livestock fight constantly in our pathetically tiny pasture that they're all trapped in due to the siege(s) so combat reports mean nothing right now.

Ill just add that to my list of problems: crabs.

[Merijeek]

So, I'm getting mauled by fairly constant sieges. I figured the last two to show up (simultaneously, naturally) would get their asses kicked by the bog trolls, humans, and nephilium all hanging out at my depot. No, instead they get smashed and a couple survivors and their mounts make it into my fortress. Sure, no problem, whatever. The more the merrier.

Time passes as I try to train up some new soldiers and hope to wait out the siege...

Urist McGuy1 has been struck down.
Urist McGuy2 has been struck down.
Urist McGuy3 has been struck down.
Urist McGuy4 has been struck down.
Urist McGuy5 has been struck down.
Urist McGuy6 has been struck down.
Urist McGuy7 has been struck down.
Urist McGuy8 has been struck down.

Huh? What? Did they get in some how? Those are guys dying in my hospital! WTF?!?!?!

They were all killed by a rampaging horse. It went into my hospital and killed all the wounded. Two other horses were starting to get violent as well.

I may not be able to beat a siege by mounted goblins and lizardmen, but I can damned sure kill three horses!

-Joe

[HorridOwn4ge]

First mood: Nomal, Bronze short sword.
Second mood: Tetrahedrite weapon rack.
Third mood: Ubal Akest, Gold Shield

I think the dwarfs want to fight the gobbo's out in the fields, needless to say I equipped my commander with the Shield and sword and made sure he was a legendary swordsdwarf.

[Erkki]

In Actionpaints, my militia commander is one bad ass looking, and behaving, Dwarf... Unlike his fighting pair Dumed, he doesnt like one-shotting in the head with his silver mace, but instead makes sure he hits every single body part, bone, joint and organ, keeping the target alive and conscious as long as possible. He doesnt have many kills yet(only 13 I think, vs. 30+ of some of my spear equipped soldiers) but every kill is exponentially more pain.

Double braids ftw...

Spoiler: Datan Fikodamost, the Militia Commander of Actionpaints (click to show/hide)

[Areyar]

Why can't ambushes come one at a time?!!

I just had to fight in sequence a thiefmaster, goblin siege with crossbows and hammerers, okay survived that with only a few isolated dwarves killed. We start to clean the battlefield of crap: Ambush:ambush:ambush now the elves are back for a second round and they brought Warbears and war eagles.
A few days later, the fields are littered with wounded and unconcious dwarves, eagles, elves and bears. only a few have made it to the hospital, most of us lie dead. A spearmaster still roams the surface.
Those that survived are lucky to have all limbs or their sanity...

Oh wait, another elf ambush. Eagle spearelves this time...oh and some more They brought a swordmaster too and some more bears.

we are doomed.
DOOMED!

edit: eh seems we survived...those forty mounted elves simply left. heh!

[khearn]

My master armorsmith just got possessed and produced a single copper shoe.  Im not happy.

Well, you can use it for playing monopoly.

[Mungrul]

The Forgotten Beast Asngek Dakdorku came. I was told to beware its poisonous vapors.

That'll teach me.

A flying eyeless snakefly, Asngek swiftly traversed the caverns making a b-line for the opening to my fortress.
As per my usual fortress design, I guarded this particular entrance to Ginetdodok, or "Crewclasped", by having the entrance open on to a barracks. A barracks that just so happened to be populated by 9 legendary hammerdwarves. I also chose my least experienced squad to kill Asngek, a smaller squad of three, bringing the force that were to meet Asngek to a total of 12 legendary warriors.
The fight itself was a trivial matter, with Asngek dying swiftly to a mighty blow from Datan Onululter Ekzongruthosh's silver warhammer that sheared the beast's thorax from its body. In exaltation, Datan bestowed the name Serkibbonun (Randomsoot) upon his trusty thumper.
But with its dying breath, Asngek loosed its foul vapors upon seven unfortunate warriors, Datan amongst them.
Immediately the afflicted felt the dread effects of this noxious cloud, their eyes swelling up, accompanied by a strong fever and localised numbness.
They made a dash for the hospital, some 10 floors above, but alas, were never to reach it.
Their eyes rotted out of their sockets on the way, leaving a foul miasma in their wake. The martyrs managed 7 or 8 more steps before succumbing to rapid blood-loss.

Upon hearing of the demise of his friend Datan, the mayor, Morul Logemmesir, began throwing things. With no-one to talk to, even the fortress waterfall was not enough to calm his rage. In a fit of pique, he ran to his office and promptly destroyed his masterwork throne, then began complaining in a loud voice that he had no office suitable for his position.
The captain of the fortress guard, Thob Losisoslan Korodshith Tizen, who had lost the majority of his squad to the dread cloud was having none of this and promptly locked the mayor away for 25 days.

Seizing the opportunity for a good moan to a captive audience, the spinner Zulban Keskalidash proceeded to drone away at the mayor in her drab monotone about the general stinkiness of miasma, how that big fiery ball in the sky gave her migraines and just how uncomfortably damp rain made her.

Somehow, such bureaucratic punishment seems well deserved.

[khearn]

Following the cowardly elvish assault on our undefended mine, in which Kagosh was thrown down the main air shaft. Kagosh the blacksmith was tumescent in the hospital with two doubly broken legs when she got a genious idea.

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

From Wikipedia:

Tumescence is the quality or state of being tumescent or swollen. This swelling includes expanding foam and expanding caulk. [1] Tumescence usually refers to the normal engorgement with blood (vascular congestion) of the erectile tissues, marking sexual excitation and possible readiness for sexual activity. The tumescent sexual organ in men is the penis and in women is the clitoris.

[Mr. Dwarfinton]

Currently digging out my main stockpile in this new Prisoner-Fort. I have my guards training, since they have no civilian jobs, and they're sparring like I have [SPEED:0] in the dwarve's raws.
They can't hunt down a Waterbuffalo Cow but they can swing large, heavy battle axes with the speed of light?

[Aspgren]

 The dwarves are struggling to contain the rot. Between 10-20% of the population has gone into surgery. Some multiple times.

 Numerous animals have also been put to sleep in an effort to halt the rot.

  No dwarven fatalities... yet.

[Niccolo]

Why can't ambushes come one at a time?!!

I just had to fight in sequence a thiefmaster, goblin siege with crossbows and hammerers, okay survived that with only a few isolated dwarves killed. We start to clean the battlefield of crap: Ambush:ambush:ambush now the elves are back for a second round and they brought Warbears and war eagles.
A few days later, the fields are littered with wounded and unconcious dwarves, eagles, elves and bears. only a few have made it to the hospital, most of us lie dead. A spearmaster still roams the surface.
Those that survived are lucky to have all limbs or their sanity...

Oh wait, another elf ambush. Eagle spearelves this time...oh and some more They brought a swordmaster too and some more bears.

we are doomed.
DOOMED!

edit: eh seems we survived...those forty mounted elves simply left. heh!

Those eagle-mounted Spearelves sound kickass.

[vhappylurker]

Why can't ambushes come one at a time?!!

I just had to fight in sequence a thiefmaster, goblin siege with crossbows and hammerers, okay survived that with only a few isolated dwarves killed. We start to clean the battlefield of crap: Ambush:ambush:ambush now the elves are back for a second round and they brought Warbears and war eagles.
A few days later, the fields are littered with wounded and unconcious dwarves, eagles, elves and bears. only a few have made it to the hospital, most of us lie dead. A spearmaster still roams the surface.
Those that survived are lucky to have all limbs or their sanity...

Oh wait, another elf ambush. Eagle spearelves this time...oh and some more They brought a swordmaster too and some more bears.

we are doomed.
DOOMED!

edit: eh seems we survived...those forty mounted elves simply left. heh!

Those eagle-mounted Spearelves sound kickass.

Elves? Being kickass?

[Cuppsworth]

Two rutherers got into the fort, One of which killed two people and maimed several others. His name, Tattooedball.

I'm preparing a very extravagant tomb for the baron. (Who is named after my brother because he came to the fort only as a novice swimmer). This includes a war gorilla and tiger connected to adamantine chains next an adamantine sarcophagus, in a room entirely engraved and closed off with an adamantine door. The whole nobles cemetery is closed off with a steel door.

I wait patiently, for the ever looming threat of goblin warfare.

And heard rumors of war from the dwarven merchants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89h-X-tZa_w

[Niccolo]

Those eagle-mounted Spearelves sound kickass.

Elves? Being kickass?

I know, right? It doesn't sound possible! But damn if riding into battle on a giant eagle doesn't sound like the single most awesome way to arrive... short of a dragon, I guess. That would be pretty damn awesome.

[Eric Blank]

Testing a new creature's venom.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's a minotaur in there. Had to wait 500000 ticks for bleeding to occur. The first symptoms are a short burst of unbelievably intense pain at the site of the wound, and then heavy fever and dizziness that last almost until the bleeding sets in. The bleeding is localized to the original wound, and slow enough that at least a minotaur can run around the entire arena floor until it bleeds out. (the one empty square is an obsidian wall, had to encase a different subject.) It appears to be similar for dwarves, though takes about 1/3 the time to bleed to death. Still gives your halls a nice coating of blood. If the only time calculation that is different from the real world's is a month always being 28 days, your dwarves have 14 months to live. If by some miracle they don't bleed to death then they have twice that long to live before every tissue on their body begins to rot away. I think that's enough punishment for trying to mess with armok's adamantine plugs, don't you?

This creature, even without the poison, is meant to be a fort-ender. Fast, flying, prone-to-rage:25 building destroyers. food, drink, and item thieves that come in huge swarms led by an enormous, bloated queen. They have 4 stubby legs, 4 wings sprouting from the shoulders/hips, and an enormous toothy dragons-head, and even use their tusks and the two long in-line horns on their snout in combat to impale dwarves.
Underground only, luckily for you.