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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 5972541 times)

CriticallyAshamed

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13905 on: June 13, 2011, 06:45:46 am »

I just hatched my first bunch of chicks and had the dogs give birth at the same time. I kind of underestimated how many animals this was. Caging the little bastards is trouble. In any case, there will soon be a lot of Rooster and Dog totems to go around.
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celem

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13906 on: June 13, 2011, 06:52:34 am »

I just hatched my first batch of cave crocodiles.  I got 48 eggs bringing me straight to the 50 cap, the little buggers savaged most of my bird population before I got them caged, maybe 10 died of infections.  Now I just gotta wait 2 years for awesome bones and meat :)

In other news I got 2 dwarves with expert combat skills in the latest wave.  Sent both to the forges and got them Novice weaponsmith before drafting them.  They gear up in superior steel and head for their first training session.  A lever I ordered pulled a month ago finally hits the top of the list and both are atomized by a drawbridge >:(

My genesis mod mind flayers brought their civ 'master' but his flying mount is just bobbing around the map edge while the squads idle below....meh
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Marksdwarf Pillboxes
I wish I had something cool to say about this.  Because it's really cool.

darkflagrance

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13907 on: June 13, 2011, 08:02:31 am »

I modded my version of DF to send endless waves of elves clad in iron armor at my fort of 50 stout dwarven warriors.

We held them off for one year. After a siege of a total of 256 elves and their uncountably numerous mounts, about half of the army was crippled and the rest were scavenging the dead for armor. I couldn't get steel armor and weapon production going in time, and the elves were wielding mauls, which dwarves can't wield one-handed. As a result, most of my soldiers were wearing the crappy elven armor, and using only shields.

Another wave of what must have been over 500 invaders left me with only one healthy dwarf, and about 25 cripples and children scattered all over the place. My founding seven made a last stand in the dining room at the bottom of the fort against the elven high prince, 80 elven knights, and 50 war animals. Only my former high master armorer could now walk, and to him was passed the mantle of expedition leader. I ordered him to build a wall that sealed off a key corridor, trapping the elven war party in my dining room.

At that point, I received the notification of a child's death. I looked him up. It was the only son of the new expedition leader. His wife had already been killed by elves, and there was nothing he could do for the rest of his friends. I got angry, and desperate for vengeance, and then it came to me in a flash.

The brook was next to the main stairwell, a 4x4 shaft leading down into the fort. The expedition leader carved fortifications into the wall. Then, he dug a tunnel leading to the brook.

Even as he dug, another massive siege of elves arrived on the surface. They found my book keeper, slayer of an entire siege single-handed once upon a time, now crippled and dying of thirst, and began beating him slowly into a pulp with their mauls. I knew there wasn't much time, so I had my expedition leader put a fortification to his back to prevent anyone from interfering.

At last he breached the brook. The water quickly filled up his tunnel, then poured past his waterlogged body down the shaft, inundating the lower levels. There was no way out. The dwarves trapped in the hospital were the first to drown. Other wounded axedwarves who had fallen deeper down in the engraved halls of the fortress had been ignored by the elven high prince's host. These were swept through the fortifications sealing in the elven host, where they confronted the high prince's forces again and were forced to make their own futile last stand.

The frenzied panic of the elves as they realized death was coming and fled in every direction or searched for escape routes futilely in dead-end mine shafts was utterly beautiful. Some of them, the elven high prince included, struggled to swim against the flood, but it gradually forced them backwards until they were in a back room behind the meeting hall. It was there, just as a goblin ambush finished off the last of my survivors on the surface, that 130 members of the elven host drowned with their leader.
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...as if nothing really matters...
   
The Legend of Tholtig Cryptbrain: 8000 dead elves and a cyclops

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Tharwen

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13908 on: June 13, 2011, 08:09:24 am »

I modded my version of DF to send endless waves of elves clad in iron armor at my fort of 50 stout dwarven warriors.

We held them off for one year. After a siege of a total of 256 elves and their uncountably numerous mounts, about half of the army was crippled and the rest were scavenging the dead for armor. I couldn't get steel armor and weapon production going in time, and the elves were wielding mauls, which dwarves can't wield one-handed. As a result, most of my soldiers were wearing the crappy elven armor, and using only shields.

Another wave of what must have been over 500 invaders left me with only one healthy dwarf, and about 25 cripples and children scattered all over the place. My founding seven made a last stand in the dining room at the bottom of the fort against the elven high prince, 80 elven knights, and 50 war animals. Only my former high master armorer could now walk, and to him was passed the mantle of expedition leader. I ordered him to build a wall that sealed off a key corridor, trapping the elven war party in my dining room.

At that point, I received the notification of a child's death. I looked him up. It was the only son of the new expedition leader. His wife had already been killed by elves, and there was nothing he could do for the rest of his friends. I got angry, and desperate for vengeance, and then it came to me in a flash.

The brook was next to the main stairwell, a 4x4 shaft leading down into the fort. The expedition leader carved fortifications into the wall. Then, he dug a tunnel leading to the brook.

Even as he dug, another massive siege of elves arrived on the surface. They found my book keeper, slayer of an entire siege single-handed once upon a time, now crippled and dying of thirst, and began beating him slowly into a pulp with their mauls. I knew there wasn't much time, so I had my expedition leader put a fortification to his back to prevent anyone from interfering.

At last he breached the brook. The water quickly filled up his tunnel, then poured past his waterlogged body down the shaft, inundating the lower levels. There was no way out. The dwarves trapped in the hospital were the first to drown. Other wounded axedwarves who had fallen deeper down in the engraved halls of the fortress had been ignored by the elven high prince's host. These were swept through the fortifications sealing in the elven host, where they confronted the high prince's forces again and were forced to make their own futile last stand.

The frenzied panic of the elves as they realized death was coming and fled in every direction or searched for escape routes futilely in dead-end mine shafts was utterly beautiful. Some of them, the elven high prince included, struggled to swim against the flood, but it gradually forced them backwards until they were in a back room behind the meeting hall. It was there, just as a goblin ambush finished off the last of my survivors on the surface, that 130 members of the elven host drowned with their leader.

*Applause*

Build a monument to him in your next fort, that his name may live forever.
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Areyar

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13909 on: June 13, 2011, 09:27:43 am »

Following the cowardly elvish assault on our undefended mine, in which Kagosh was thrown down the main air shaft. Kagosh the blacksmith was tumescent in the hospital with two doubly broken legs when she got a genious idea.

She hauled her bleeding body down the industrial shaft and claimed a smithy and refused to talk to anyone while she laboured brokenly lying in front of the fiery furnace.

Finally she decided her masterwork was complete: Ósshigós, Certainpack, a pigiron sarcofagus lined with copper spikes.
Several days she slept after she was hauled back to the hospital, her last words before she succumbed to the untreated infection raging in her maltreated limbs were "My life's work ...also my last... certain... urk"

She will be remembered as a legend and as a moral tale for young dwarves; not to refuse treatment.
As befits a legendary miner and blacksmith she lies in her own artifact coffin.
« Last Edit: June 13, 2011, 09:29:38 am by Areyar »
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Dutchling

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13910 on: June 13, 2011, 10:11:15 am »

I opened the outer gate and closed the inner gate to lure some demon (Genesis) and their mounts in my cage traps.
Obviously the inner gate was a retracting bridge and a couple of dwarfs stormed outside to claim some socks. Apparently those dwarves had lots of friends because everyone is unhappy now :(. This happened after a fort where 20 recruits died in a a month or two during training* and nobody complained over those deaths :S

*training with armed gobbo's while lacking any skill at all is !!FUN!!
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Eric Blank

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13911 on: June 13, 2011, 08:17:45 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Monk321654

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13912 on: June 13, 2011, 08:38:20 pm »

Wait.
Flaming Magma?
How is that even possible?
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Organum

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13913 on: June 13, 2011, 08:41:34 pm »

Could it be melted, somehow-flaming rock?
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If dwarves decided to live in trees like hippies, they'd still do it better than the elves.

Eric Blank

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13914 on: June 13, 2011, 09:09:12 pm »

I think that's what it is actually.
the lava at the bottom is the fluid normally used to torment elves, or unwanted dwarven merchants in this case. molten rock, a contaminant, is always listed as 'magma' if not 'molten/melted X', so it was probably some stone craft with an ignition point tag that caught fire before/after/during melting.
Still funny though.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Eoganachta

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13915 on: June 14, 2011, 02:09:20 am »

You, Sir, have just magma'd magma. I'll take my + Copper Cap + off to you but it I left on my floordrobe.
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jaxy15

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13916 on: June 14, 2011, 02:11:38 am »

More civilized hungry serpent men + elf sweetbread happened
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Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.

Eric Blank

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13917 on: June 14, 2011, 02:25:17 am »

Sacrificed an engraver/fishery worker to fill my magma moat around the depot. She won't be missed, by anyone. 'Next to no empathy' happens to come back and bite you in the ass sometimes. Bye, Fath the Fat. Oh yeah, being morbidly obese around magma in a world where fat melts at 10 degrees above room temperature also tends to bite you in the ass.

suppose I could have dug a staircase at that end of the moat... Oh well.


Nothing else of note has occurred. The siege is still out there, indefinitely.

Oh hey. There's a magma crab in my fortress now. Guess he's pissed about the horrible gritty texture that woman left in his magma.
Killed someone's pet mushroom man (with his basalt breath weapon!), lost both his wings to a pair of miners, and left.
The mushroom man started rotting immediately. Wondering why...
Holy crap those reports are a month old. How long has this guy been lurking around my forges without me noticing!?
« Last Edit: June 14, 2011, 02:37:47 am by Eric Blank »
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Farmerbob

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13918 on: June 14, 2011, 02:47:56 am »

Sacrificed an engraver/fishery worker to fill my magma moat around the depot. She won't be missed, by anyone. 'Next to no empathy' happens to come back and bite you in the ass sometimes. Bye, Fath the Fat. Oh yeah, being morbidly obese around magma in a world where fat melts at 10 degrees above room temperature also tends to bite you in the ass.

suppose I could have dug a staircase at that end of the moat... Oh well.


Nothing else of note has occurred. The siege is still out there, indefinitely.

Oh hey. There's a magma crab in my fortress now. Guess he's pissed about the horrible gritty texture that woman left in his magma.
Killed someone's pet mushroom man (with his basalt breath weapon!), lost both his wings to a pair of miners, and left.
The mushroom man started rotting immediately. Wondering why...
Holy crap those reports are a month old. How long has this guy been lurking around my forges without me noticing!?

You've got crabs and it took you a month to realize it?   :o
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How did I miss the existence of this thread?
(Don't attempt to answer that.  Down that path lies ... well I was going to say madness but you all run towards madness as if it was made from chocolate and puppies.  Just forget I said anything.)

shadenight123

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13919 on: June 14, 2011, 03:01:14 am »

it's like one of those horror films, were the forgers start mumbling "i hear strange noises"
"i feel someone is watching me" "have you seen my pet mushy mushy?!" "now i got you you little...little...rat...of a crab...of magma hell noo help me!!" and the like.
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“Well,” he said. “We’re in the Forgotten hunting grounds I take it. Your screams just woke them up early. Congratulations, Lyara.”
“Do something!” she whispered, trying to keep her sight on all of them at once.
Basileus clapped his hands once. The Forgotten took a step forward, attracted by the sound.
“There, I did something. I clapped. I like clapping,” he said. -The Investigator And The Case Of The Missing Brain.
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