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[Ilikor]

OMG, giant badger are bad right. The Fury Mastermaceman is mounted on a giant badger... *Shudder*

Then a cage trap did it's job ...

[Stormfeather]

If you've got Therapist, set your preferences so it'll show babies/children and give all your lil' dwarfs easily recognized names (or numbers... whatever works). Then check through the unit list and see which ones have a wolf kill to their credit, then gift them a fitting title. Course, this only works if the baby killed the wolf...

Well, I don't have Therapist and the baby didn't kill it, but since she got injured in the fight, I managed to figure out which one it is by checking them in the unit list until I found the one with damage, and then gave her a unique name... she's a child now, and been treated in the hospital, so I'll have to see how she's doing once she grows up. If my fortress is still running by then. She's got nerve damage in her leg though. :/ Still, plenty of time to practice crutch use!

[geoduck]

Built a danger room, and one of my recruits managed to get himself fatally skewered on a trap containing two wooden training spears.

[celem]

Sent my marksdwarves out to kill a grimeling scaring the fisherdwarves.  Legendary marksdwarf Squad captain is carrying no ammo and sticks it to the bad guy with his artifact gold xbow only to immediately dodge into the river and drown.

With a grunt of frustration I order the digging of a channel in the river bank every 10 tiles or so across the map, my dwarves will learn to swim!

Oh....thats right....the wall between the stockpile and the river was only 1-tile thick.

I now have the river pouring into my fort.  The main surface stairs are at 5/6 and all the food has been washed off its pile causing message spam as dwartves try to replace it.  Anyone of any use is down in the meeting hall and cannot leave that room due to the waterfall that is the vertical stair I have running from surface to the top of cavern 3.  Trying to save the fort I quickly bash a hole at the base of the vertical stair, it comes out above the lake in cavern 3 and begins draining.....well, we aint drowning right now...

It took me almost an ingame year to retrieve the situation.  I had to send miners trapped far below the surface to build stairs everywhere heading for the surface, dwarves trapped behind them headed by another miner headed down to the forge levels and made some pump components.  I eventually get enough stone, parts and dwarves above-ground to get 4 pumps rigged just above the inside of the breach, the water is being dumped back into the river downstream.  I had to leave the pumps on for about 4 months before the general water-levels on the top dirt floor of my fort subsided enough to wall the hole but yes....things are sealed! (It took forever since my tree farm flooded to 5/7...thats a lot of water tiles)

Its only afterwards as I set about straightening everything out that I notice I have 12 dwarves starving to death in cavern 3 which is sealed.  Turns out that when i knocked my drainage hole into the caverns and set a grate to be built on it, every dwarf attempting the job had wound up free-falling 4 z-levels into the lake.  I knocked an entrance to rescue the trapped souls but decided slabs would do for the 4 buggers who evidently couldnt swim and were now decorating the lakebed

[jaxy15]

Ambush.
Was that a joke?!

[Niccolo]

Busy carving out a home for myself in the side of a volcano. A hundred metres in I strike native gold. Whoo hoo!

I am going to buy out some caravans. Like, totally buy them out. Leave them with nothing.

Then murder them.

[jaxy15]

Armorsmith mayor who likes cotton candy goes in a strange mood.
I decide that I should make some.
But then it turns out that extracting the strands is so slow, and I turn the speed to 10.
Mayor finally grabs all the stuff she needs and gets making the artifact.
It's..
It's..
A SHIELD!

Value: 1370400
It's called Namedstone.

[jaxy15]

Unleashed the HFS.
I decided to use Runesmith to lower the clowncount a little bit.
I suffered 3 casualties.

[Pukako]

Deathcrafts - I'm managing to recreate a little Boatmurdered in my own way.

Halfway through trying to build a moat to fill with magma, I'm attacked my a huge amount of gobbos on bleak dogs, with assorted trolls. Accidently release the lever that's holding back a little magma, right as I notice all invaders can path over the floors I made around the back of the existing magma channel and around the raised bridges into the fort. Mayhem ensues.

Start fighting on the second line of bridges, and suffer no casualties.  Then I notice that the released magma has started a forest fire (except the trees are the only things not burning) and that's scattered or killed most invaders, the livestock and all wildlife, except for a few goblins that manage to kill a speardwarf that arrived in advance of the main party and someone out scavenging for socks.

Now I have 184 corpses, a charred outside world, two tantruming axelords, the two killed happened to be my mayor and my chief medical dwarf (and I'm better off without either) and 140 misc. body parts.  My dwarfs are making crafts out of goblin bone - is that normal now?

It's all red and black....  I understand the feelings of Urist McTantrum, almost.

[Lafiel]

After struggling with harsh winters and goblin sieges without a proper military, I think I will achieve a reasonably mature fort stage without a tantrum spiral. That's a first.

Time for clowns now.

Also, since my hunters are overly enthusiastic, I have to make my refuse containment room bigger. Again.

[FrisianDude]

I got a legendary soaper. In all my forts I made soap once. Hum. I'll see if I can set a Soap Industry up.

[Niccolo]

Deathcrafts - I'm managing to recreate a little Boatmurdered in my own way.

Halfway through trying to build a moat to fill with magma, I'm attacked my a huge amount of gobbos on bleak dogs, with assorted trolls. Accidently release the lever that's holding back a little magma, right as I notice all invaders can path over the floors I made around the back of the existing magma channel and around the raised bridges into the fort. Mayhem ensues.

Start fighting on the second line of bridges, and suffer no casualties.  Then I notice that the released magma has started a forest fire (except the trees are the only things not burning) and that's scattered or killed most invaders, the livestock and all wildlife, except for a few goblins that manage to kill a speardwarf that arrived in advance of the main party and someone out scavenging for socks.

Now I have 184 corpses, a charred outside world, two tantruming axelords, the two killed happened to be my mayor and my chief medical dwarf (and I'm better off without either) and 140 misc. body parts.  My dwarfs are making crafts out of goblin bone - is that normal now?

Normal is relative.

But yes, your entire post is a pretty normal description of an event that takes place at least once per successful fort.

[MasterMorality]

Just had a fairly large Goblin siege. Military handled it well, but we're in the middle of a food shortage which is bad, and merchants aren't coming. A lot are ambushed on their way into the map and then sieges appear. I will ransack th next caravans food and drink supply.

The Chieftain put one of my titled warriors in chains for failing to construct some crafts with a metal I've never even seen before...
Then he went to sleep during the siege. I'm not amused. You're leading these guys and you sleep during a siege. You have one kill to your name and you put a guy with ten in chains? Fuck you! We could avoided some unnecessary death had the other guy been able to fight. I swear if you have him beaten to death I will have you wandering the caverns, alone, until you either prove yourself worthy or you die. Whichever comes first.

FPS death is happening, stupid snakemen set the fields on fire. Again. They ambushed one of my High master medics. i was not amused. But then they died.

Got a forgotten beast, killed it pretty fast. it sprayed some poison gas and I was waiting for the fun to start, but all it did was make the axeman who killed it nauseous. Fair enough - can't complain.

People are now hunting for vermin. Really hope there's a caravan soon. Although n the winter I think Only the Nords will come Actually maybe my own race will too.

[Tharwen]

I played 5 hours straight without saving. I had an epic, completely defensible fort (aboveground, at least) with two completely iron-plated squads of axedwarves. I accidentally disturbed some beasties while mining out delicious blue treats from deep beneath the earth, and everyone died.

The game then crashed and I lost all the progress! I wanted to be able to look at my fort in Legends, dammit!

[Mcducks22]

A noble mandated nickel silver items. Because there was no zinc on the map, I ignored it. Later, a novice metalsmith got blamed and had to go to prison for 104 days. Nobody gave him anything to drink for the last 40 days. By the time his prison sentence was nearly up, he was dehydrated, and I expected him to die any minute. Then suddenly:

Urist McPrisoner withdraws from society...

Figuring he would die from dehydration, I let him be. Later, I noticed he was still there, and very much alive. His prison sentence had run its cource, but no one was in the mood to free him, apparently, so I ordered the chain to be deconstructed.

He immediately ran off to the magma forges. He was a little slow, so I looked and...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yes. The chain was still firmly attatched. I now have a dwarf with a chain attatched to his body who is staying alive out of sheer willpower running up and down my long staircase, grabbing things like adamantine and cloth.

This had better be EPIC!