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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 6111635 times)

jaxy15

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13200 on: May 10, 2011, 08:08:05 am »

My clothesmaker became moody, grabbed ten million things, and what does she make?
A FUCKING HOOD.

rename him robin hood, send him with a bow and no arrows to melee the giant badgers.
I haven't seen giant badgers at all. I have seen normal badgers though.
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Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.

Knick

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13201 on: May 10, 2011, 10:16:24 am »

Newish fortress with only three champion wrestlers in the military, and no armour.  A goblin raid just showed up, and slaughtered the Elf Caravan.  So it was not all bad.

The Gobbos then spend their time chasing down and killing stray puppies, which meant they attacked my entrance piecemeal, allowing my underequipped military to defeat them in detail.
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Give a man a fire, and you keep him warm for a day.  Light a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.
The great Dwarfen Philosopher Urist McConfused said it best:  "Light a kitten on fire and it will run screaming into the booze stockpile and catch the whole fort up.  I know, we tested it in twelve different forts and it always happened."

jaxy15

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13202 on: May 10, 2011, 10:34:07 am »

A child grabbed some alabaster and Blind Cave Ogre bone to make....
A ring.
Goddammit.
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shadenight123

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13203 on: May 10, 2011, 11:08:34 am »

A child grabbed some alabaster and Blind Cave Ogre bone to make....
A ring.
Goddammit.

send his parent against the badgers. make him tantrum in sadness, kill him by using a legendary hammerer armed with a wooden hammer, or a whip. enjoy seeing him suffer.
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“Well,” he said. “We’re in the Forgotten hunting grounds I take it. Your screams just woke them up early. Congratulations, Lyara.”
“Do something!” she whispered, trying to keep her sight on all of them at once.
Basileus clapped his hands once. The Forgotten took a step forward, attracted by the sound.
“There, I did something. I clapped. I like clapping,” he said. -The Investigator And The Case Of The Missing Brain.

McDwarf

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13204 on: May 10, 2011, 11:09:59 am »

Goblins ambushed Bridgegate.
Given my dwarves tendency to rip things they don't like apart with their mouths, I didn't think they were equipped to deal with a goblin lasher and his four goblin axemen, so I ordered them inside and locked the door.
The goblins busied themselves chasing down my grazing animals while my dwarves huddled in the darkness, throwing parties at the statue of Inod, the deity of oaths, charity, and sacrifice.

Fearful that the goblins would never leave, and they deny me access to the forests needed to power my kilns, I had to come up with a scheme to deal with them. I ordered the five stones I had (I suffer from an aquifer) to be made in to mechanisms. I set up a long narrow tunnel ready to be opened to the surface. I put a war dog in a pasture as bait and five cage traps to capture the goblins, and repositioned some existing doors in case things go sour.

Time to breach the surface.
Everything goes smoothly, the miner runs back to safety and the goblins rush the new entrance. Then the war dog bolts from the pasture, past the cage traps, and charges a goblin axeman, who quickly cuts it down.
I haven't lock the backup doors yet, so the goblins continue on into the traps anyway. At least the first couple do, the remaining ones stop to laugh at their companions for getting caught. So, I ordered my 'military' into the passageway to get some kind of result. The remaining goblins acted predictably and charged the dwarves, straight into the cage trap. The fortress was saved.
But only four of the five cage traps were filled, where was the fifth goblin? After searching around, I found the corpse of a goblin axeman. Head caved in by the hooves of a water buffalo calf named Ongongstestrak. The young buffalo didn't survive the encounter, but he will be remembered.
In cleaning up the corpses, I notice that my refuse piles are over flowing with turtle shells. I order some projects to use some of them.

The four remaining goblins were disarmed and stashed in a corner while I went back to work trying to penetrate the aquifer. Some elves stopped by and offer me some replacement animals for my decimated herds and a cougar and grizzly bear for military training.
After emptying the cages of these new animals, my dwarves go about resetting the cage traps and storing the remaining cages, this brings my attention to the animal stockpiles where the goblins are kept. There are only three goblin cages!

Panicking, I look about for the escaped goblin, he is nowhere to be found, and none of my dwarves seem to think that anything is wrong. I look at the units screen, there are four goblins on the map.
I look at the animal stockpiles there are three goblin cages, each containing one goblin.
I make note of their names and go back to the unit screen. Single out the missing goblin and centre on him. The Craftdwarf's Workshop. What?
Some dwarf decided the goblin cage needed an image of Imageraces, the phantom spider silk headscarf in turtle shell, so took the cage, complete with goblin, to the workshop.
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Haspen

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13205 on: May 10, 2011, 11:42:34 am »

A child grabbed some alabaster and Blind Cave Ogre bone to make....
A ring.
Goddammit.

send his parent against the badgers. make him tantrum in sadness, kill him by using a legendary hammerer armed with a wooden hammer, or a whip. enjoy seeing him suffer.

I don't know... he made a fancy ring. It's not a weaponsmith who used a ton of adamantine to make a hammer. Or something idiotic/useless like that.

And it's alabaster and blind cave ogre, it didn't even pumped his wealth high enough to trigger 300+ goblin siege.

No point in killing kid for me :P
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FearfulJesuit

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13206 on: May 10, 2011, 11:43:50 am »

Getting ready to bust through my first aquifer with pumps and dwarf power. I almost did it on the last one, but I had this setup:

77777
7XXX7
7XXX7
7XXX7
7777

where a 7 was water and an X an up-down stair. My major problem was that I set up pumps at corners, not sides. And it was a 3-level aquifer. I'm trying again.
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@Footjob, you can microwave most grains I've tried pretty easily through the microwave, even if they aren't packaged for it.

Noir

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13207 on: May 10, 2011, 11:55:46 am »

Some dwarf decided the goblin cage needed an image of Imageraces, the phantom spider silk headscarf in turtle shell, so took the cage, complete with goblin, to the workshop.

Everything was hilarious, but this took the cake!!
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Naked dwarves remove the need to produce more clothing, which means more of your pig tails can be brewed into booze.
I think this is less a problem and more an expression of dwarven priorities.

FearfulJesuit

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13208 on: May 10, 2011, 12:41:55 pm »

I finally figured out a mechanism for busting through 1 z-level aquifers:

       
v%%vXXXv%%v
v%%vXXXv%%v
v%%vXXXv%%v
     

where v is a channel down into the aquifer, X is your stairway, and %% is a pump. Do it on the north and south sides, too.
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@Footjob, you can microwave most grains I've tried pretty easily through the microwave, even if they aren't packaged for it.

Musashi

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13209 on: May 10, 2011, 12:54:10 pm »

Some dwarf decided the goblin cage needed an image of Imageraces, the phantom spider silk headscarf in turtle shell, so took the cage, complete with goblin, to the workshop.

Everything was hilarious, but this took the cake!!
"Hey, you. Yes, you. Look carefully, and tell me if you see that part move while I glue the rest of the shell on your cage. I really, really liked that headscarf. Do you like headscarves?"
"Xaejoglek the North Fang of Blood will eat your husband, and make socks out of your children!"
"Yeah, yeah, right."
"May he drink your brain. Pssst, you didn't put enough glue, it's gonna fall off within a day or two."
"Oops, you're right. By the way, do you think I carved the spikes well-enough?"
"Don't worry, it has the right amounts of spikes, trust me, my mother used to decorate statues of our infernal overlords for a living."
*manager arrives*
"coughcoughImeanALLHAILXAEJOGLEKhack"
"cough YOU SHALL TASTE STEEL, GREEN-SKINNED SCUM!"
"Why the shit are you working on a goblin cage?"
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

Marthnn

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13210 on: May 10, 2011, 01:39:17 pm »

"A forgotten beast has come! Yeah yeah, chameleon, 8 legs, undulating its feathers. (...) Beware its poisonous vapours!"

So. Another beast, this time in the cavern I keep open (with doors and watchdogs, but still). Time to train my last legendary soldiers. I send 2 of them, they dispatch it easily without a scratch. I unforbid the corpse and body parts, because I love forgotten beast soap.

Then my hospital turn purple.

My 2 soldiers, plus 1 digger and 1 child were somehow sick. I look at them. Fever, dizziness, pain... Every single part of body, a whole page red, is eighter blistered, swelling with blood, or broken (bones). Gradually, it all becomes rotten, and eventually they all die from suffocation, loss of blood and whatnot.

This is my first encounter with the Rot. A rather slow Rot, yet way faster than my doc's ability to remove rotting parts. Which was the whole body.

Awesome!
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Marthnn likes obsidian, steel, star ruby, goblin-cap wood, the color bloody red and giant desert scorpions for their tails. When possible, he prefers to consume sunshine. He absolutely detests cave blobs.

A dwarf wants to heal.  A dwarf is motivated to heal.  A dwarf is, by Armok, going to heal or die trying!  Because if he doesn't heal, he doesn't get alcohol.

EveryZig

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13211 on: May 10, 2011, 01:49:53 pm »

My one non-archer military dwarf (a legendary miner with a masterwork steel pick) ran foolishly into the trap field, and got himself stunned against a an entire seige. He was a proficient armor user in full steel, but he was permanently stunned the the mace invaders, so he stayed there for about 50 minutes with 20 guys continuously attacking him. He survived, but with a lot of injuries. If he survives, he will be down a foot (it was cut off), but up a LOT of armor/shield exp. In the same seige, one of the invaders (these ones are in a mod and are trap-avoid) killed a stupid elite marksdwarf who JUST WOULDN'T SHOOT down in the catacombs, and is now locked in there with the corpses of the marksdwarf and my legendary leatherworker.
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Soaplent green is goblins!

jaxy15

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13212 on: May 10, 2011, 03:00:22 pm »

Goblins launched 2 ambushes against me.
Guess who won out of ten iron clad very good axedwarves who are legendary at shield using, and three marksgoblins along with several goblin pikemen.
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Haspen

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13213 on: May 10, 2011, 03:12:24 pm »

Goblins launched 2 ambushes against me.
Guess who won out of ten iron clad very good axedwarves who are legendary at shield using, and three marksgoblins along with several goblin pikemen.

But the fortress survived?
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Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Shook

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #13214 on: May 10, 2011, 03:58:23 pm »

Good call. :U

Also, just had my first goblin ambush on my fort in a terrifying biome. Strangely, goblins haven't bothered me much, but then again, i've had undead giant capybaras, so it's all good. So anyways, since i have a single axedorf with good skills (read: adept axedorf and proficient dodger) in my military (who recently got clad in steel), i obviously send him at the goblins. There were 6 hammergobs and one axegob. My dorf arrived, and carnage ensued. He chopped them all into bite sized chunks (despite being jumped by 3-4 at once), and took zero damage himself. He didn't even bother trancing! :P
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