So, an Ettin shows up at my fort. I call everyone in, including the military. As I'm waiting for the last of them to dive into the fortress, one of my archers who decided that even though he'd been deactivated he wanted to keep training shoots him with a bone bolt. It pierces his guts and the giant baby starts running away.
"Oh, well then." I chuckle and send my squads out to batter him to death. I've got the swordsdwarves equipped with training weapons but everyone else with real ones, so that we can get a little extra experience while we kill him. They end up chasing him all around the map Benny Hill style, getting a hit in here and there. He leads them around like this for a freaking month; one of my swordsdwarves ends up a Legendary(+3) Fighter and a Legendary(+1) Swordsdwarf. The Ettin is harmless, fleeing nonstop like that, so I let everyone out to do their chores.
Then a single-squadron siege of goblins appears. I call everyone in and hope they'll mortally wound the Ettin and get their squad leader killed in one go. My military is a bit slow getting in and the goblins manage to kill three or four of them. Crap.
They chase a few more dwarves who didn't get in in time, kill them, kill a few pets here and there. I'm starting to see some red down arrows, but that's okay, that's okay. They finally go after the Ettin, and they start a bizarre little back and forth. He kills a goblin, they wound him enough to make him run away again. This happens about five times (one time, he clobbers the head gobbo off of his toad.) before he finally snaps the leader's leg. The two sides flee simultaneously. When the gobbos are out of range, I open the gates and set my military on the Ettin again. He's Faint, he's covered in wounds, this should go...
Oh god why is my military all dead.
Oh god why is everyone inside going berserk.
I surrender; I open the gates and let him roam free. He bites the head off of a goose after he kills the last of my military.
A friend calls, and I leave the game running; when I come back, all but one of my dwarves are dead, as is the Ettin. His last action was to bash my mayor's head in with a sock. I can't figure out how he died; I figure he bled to death. My last dwarf is running around babbling, completely naked except for some of the Ettin's blood. I'm waiting for him to die when...
The human caravan arrives. They sit there at the edge of the map, presumably staring in disbelief at the naked little hairy man and all the blood everywhere. There's no Trade Depot, but they still stand there.
About 20 seconds later, another goblin siege shows up. This time, they're all riding mounts. 6 voracious cave crawlers. 3 Giant Cave crawlers. I'm not counting the rest; there are a bunch of jabberers, a bunch of Rutherers, some Elk Birds, some freaking Giant Bats.
Against a human caravan that hasn't entered the map and one insane stonecrafter who lives in a fortress with no stone.
This should be quick.
It was. I unpaused, and less than a gameday later, a human hammerman had been ripped to shreds by a VCC, and my little stonecrafter was eaten by a jabberer.