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[Iados]

i just got ambushed by Rhesus Macaques.

No, it's not a mod or RAW duplication.

No, it's not a real "An ambush! Curse them!" ambush.

Simply, 10+ Macaques suddenly ran in my fortress. 5 of them are now waiting for my army to slaughter them in the newly digged arena, one dodged in 4 z-levels pit thanks to a weapon trap. The surviving ones took almost all my craft and escaped.

Seriously, is not rare that a Macaque stole an item... but 10+ of them running in my fortress at the same time?

[Lord Shonus]

Common behavior. Many kinds of animals run in packs.

[bucket]

Armok be praised: two Miners in my first migrant wave!

[Samuel]

"Lurak Pulpylarvae the Spurting Starvation of Tombs is a deity of The Lucky Hammers. Lurak most often take the form of a skeletal female dwarf and is associated with deformity, disease, blight, death, and suicide."

Wow. I'm sure that's good for morale around here. That both of the permenantly bed-ridden dwarves in my hospital are worshippers is troubling.

[Garth]

I've got a magma pipe 57 z levels below the ground level of my fort.

Any method more efficient than getting 57 pumps to corkscrew it up?

Build the fort down there. Have workers sleep and eat down there.

It's surrounded by a bunch of cavers.
It'd be pretty hard to wall it all off properly and protect it from flying beasts and whatnot.

[Dutchling]

10 Werewolves, a Thunderbird and two squads of pikegoblins and one squad of marksgoblins attacked (4 different battles). I only had two squads of 10 unarmed civilians

After the four battles I still have 16 dwarves left (ony half of them has equipment now) and they are still all dabbling :S

[TolyK]

Parts 62 and 63 of my LP are up.

The way the law works in Dwarf Fortress makes no god damn sense. I thought th captain of the guard only gave beatings when a prison had not been set up. But Goden dishes them out regarldess of whether or not an alternative form of punishment exists.

oh. oh. shit.
that. must. suck.
...
justice overhaul thread anyone?

[MasterMorality]

First goblin attack today. Not many of them, led by a warlock. I ushered everyone inside and set my first five dwarves to stand guard. The warlock throws a fireball halfway across the map, at what is anybody's guess. He throws another one and the swordsmen charge in, they meet up with the chained jaguar and a couple of lingering nords who have been standing around outside my fort forever.

The fireballs cause bushfires, one nord chases a goblin off the map, the other goblins roast in their own warlocks flames and the jaguar, having taken quite a beating, limped into safety. It was actually quite cute watching this thing go towards the burrow and dig in amid a swarm of dwarves.

By the way, how do I see the stats of my dwarves?

[Garth]

Is there any site that provides some danger room layouts?
I've realized that just leaving my dwarves in the barracks to train kind of sucks.

Should I just build a room full of spikes? Or do I need to use pressure plates or levers to pull up spikes?

[Lamphare]

Is there any site that provides some danger room layouts?
I've realized that just leaving my dwarves in the barracks to train kind of sucks.

Should I just build a room full of spikes? Or do I need to use pressure plates or levers to pull up spikes?

wooden upright spears linked to one lever set to repeat. good to profile it to one or some useless noble so they can actually make a good for the fort, and save time for random dwarf running up to the lever and then run for another dozens tiles to get other jobs done.
basically any arbitrary number of spears in one trap. the room could size from 1X1 to like 5X5, depends on how many dwarves you want to train at a time.
make a short corridor leading to it, so you can command the squard to move to the far side of the room thusly getting everyone of them inside.
lock the room up and yum-yum!
be sure the spears are wooden training spears, preferably feather wood, but really any common lightweight wood can do.
and your soldiers are fully armoured. including cape or cloak or mask. fully armoured, making sure every part of their bodies are covered. poked eyes, broken fingers and bruises are not pleasing. wooden training spear is so weak that many if not all material could stop it. you may want them to equip shield and/or weapon later, when armour user and dodger are trained up.
two other things. use few doors to stop pets. and no mother with infant(s). unless of couse you dont care about pets and infants at all and your soldier mother are quite happy.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 i've had really bad experience with a dwarf legendary in all main martial skills throwing tantrum. i could only stop him with doomsday floodgate opened. hopefully i didnt train him into legendary swimmer as well.

[afrosquirrel]

I've actually been playing Human Fort, and it's been going pretty well aside from the fact that no-one seems to know how to make a corkscrew. The first siege arrived, a lasher squad and a mace squad. One death, and multiple injuries which were all recoverable (a High Master Armorsmith in a lucky migrant wave has provided everyone with a minimum of exceptional full iron mail), and the Unicorn Weaponization Program is proceeding smoothly. We even had our own musical idol arrive in the next wave.

...and then the second siege came. A squad of trolls, three squads of assorted melee, and two squads of crossbows, all mounted (except for the trolls). My two militia squads of eight each were cut down to 3 and 4. Of the members of the first squad, none were expected to return to duty (Commander was bleeding and fractured nearly everywhere and missing three teeth, and the other two had fractured or broken spines). Only one of the second squad's survivors was injured beyond a bruise, and her broken leg is expected to heal soon.

Cue another migrant wave. I pick out a few good workers, and then divide the rest between the two squads. Pre-skilled or good stats go to the second squad, and those who will need more time to get up to speed go in the out-of-action first squad.

The moment the first newbie gets any of his gear, the commander of the first squad gets out of the hospital, still wounded, and starts training the newbies. I check his inventory. Aside from being in what's essentially a full body cast, he also has an iron bolt in his upper body, one in his lower body, and one in his left lower leg. He's pale from blood loss, but the fort needs more warriors to keep it safe, and he knows his duty, if he can't defend it himself, is to be sure that his soldiers can.

What should I do to reward him for this?

Unrelated: The goblin civ that has been sieging me has a Dwarf lawgiver.

[Flare]

It turns out I forgot to install a door for one of the pumps. This wouldn't be so bad if the pumps worked and the magma had a place to go. As this wasn't the case the magma backed up through this hole and down several dozen z levels, hitting the generators. As you may expect, water and magma met each other, in a torrent of steam, amidst the fiery explosions of the alcohol stockpiles.
Since I made this system out of a pillar, half of the levels are filled with magma, the others filled with water because obsidian formed to choke off the liquids from mixing further. I don't know how I'm going to fix this mess, but I suppose I have some time to think about it.
I don't know how no dwarves died in the entire thing.

[Kogut]

live honey bees [12293], Hauled
Wait, what?

[Ahra]

its a beehive did you think it would only be one of the bees in it?

[Kogut]

I would haul this bees in a hive not as "a stack".