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[stormyseasons]

My militia commander hammerdwarf has just killed a grimeling. BY BITING IT ON THE HEAD AND RIPPING THE HEAD OFF. THAT'S SOME BITE POWER THERE.

[FrisianDude]

Awesome @ theJackal also;

 The Forgotten Beast Avuz Urrith Kezat has come! A towering blob composed of snow. It has wings and it has a bloated body.


Doesn't sound dangerous.

Edit, it was for the first, unlucky, axedorf to arrive. He's got multiple broken and shattered bones because the thing just pushed. And the first thing the FB did to him was tear apart nervous tissue in the spine, causing him to drop his axe. It got quickly chopped apart by the second dorf to arrive, though.

Fuuuck, the axedorf can't breathe!

Edit; He has suffocated. Incredibly tough, very rarely sick,very strong and very agile, having been hospitalized twice or thrice following Goblin attacks and now he died, squished by a giant ball of snow. 

[malimbar04]

During the most recent goblin siege of combinering, I had a lone dwarf fend off an entire squad of goblins. He killed two with his hammer, injured 2 others, adn the rest ran for their lives. What's more, his first attack wasn't a swing of his mighty hammer, but rather it was a bite. He fricken CHOMPED DOWN on a goblins arm, right off the bat, and then proceeded to kick all their butts. Ingy, of the bodices of trade, you have just earned yourself a place in a tomb. good for you.

Two others were slaughtered though. One of them was quickly knocked unconscious then repeatedly stabbed in the helmet-covered head with a copper spear until something broke. it's a very brutal fight.

Also killed a cyclops. Horas did that with his named sword. That thing is the stuff of legends now.

Lets see, what else is new. We're making an underground forest and storage area for all of the clothes dropped by invaders. I'll never be able to sell all of that crap, even if I am able to miraculously store it all. I'm finally working on the upgraded hospital as well. Granted it's missing a wall and is right next to a main stairway, and missing soap as well, but dwarves haven't thought of the germ theory of disease yet. It's good enough they have 9 times the amount of cloth they asked for, and 4 times the amount of thread. They still need water, but there are no nearby lakes, so that might take a while.

[TheJackal]

-engaging account-

Ahaha, fantastic.

Thank you! I try top make the mundane dramatic.

[Bererez]

First megabeast kill!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

yay for pit traps!

[Tinker Thinker]

Bored.

Maybe it's because I don't make mistakes anymore, or those that I do are so catastrophically simple they suck all the joy out of the ensuing carnage. (top two causes of fortress crumbling in my games: not able to patch caverns fast enough to avoid an onslaught, ambush getting through my defenses before I locate them)

My farming is immaculate, I am never short of supplies that exist, the majority of my forts end up being stone haulers as I hew a massive labyrinth out of the rock, my military is well trained and adequately armed, though rarely enough to take down the Forgotten Beasts that have claimed the largest share of my forts.

Most of my forts are abandoned because there's nothing to do, and I get bored halfway through and large projects and decide to do something else.

*shrug*

So what's happening is nothing in particular.

[iceball3]

Bored.

Maybe it's because I don't make mistakes anymore, or those that I do are so catastrophically simple they suck all the joy out of the ensuing carnage. (top two causes of fortress crumbling in my games: not able to patch caverns fast enough to avoid an onslaught, ambush getting through my defenses before I locate them)

My farming is immaculate, I am never short of supplies that exist, the majority of my forts end up being stone haulers as I hew a massive labyrinth out of the rock, my military is well trained and adequately armed, though rarely enough to take down the Forgotten Beasts that have claimed the largest share of my forts.

Most of my forts are abandoned because there's nothing to do, and I get bored halfway through and large projects and decide to do something else.

*shrug*

So what's happening is nothing in particular.

Protip: You haven't dug deep enough. Dig DEEPER

[Indricotherium]

Yeah, I quoted the whole thing. 'Cause it is brilliant!

ALERT! A FORGOTTEN BEAST HAS EMERGED!
ZOM SMOXSPUZOSPU!
A towering quadruped composed of sardonyx. It has a curling trunk and it squirms and fidgets. Beware its deadly spittle!!!

Urist McBaron: What, in the caverns? Which we walled off?

IGNORE!

Urist McBaron: We have a caravan to deal with from the homelands! Broker, GO!

Urist McBroker: Hmm, we'll take that, and that, and that, and that other thing. Hell, give us the whole kit n' kaboodle. Here, we'll overpay you buy one hundred thousand dorfbucks.

Urist McMerchant: Wha-wha, buh, *drool*

Urist McBroker: Yeah, just take all these useless trainer helms and goblinite. Now GTFO, we have a Danger room to construct.

Urist McLiason: Go on merchants, I'll catch up.

A VILE FORCE OF DARKNESS HAS ARRIVED!


Urist McScout: By Armok, there are over 80 goblins out there suh! And a half dozen trolls!

Donkey McChainedbytheDepot: The trolls are too fast, they passed the Seal!

Troll Von BuildingSmasher: RAR! Die depot die!

Urist McMason: Nay, tis my prized depot, smashed! Ruin and spoil, rue and moil! You'll pay for this, yah green basterd!

Troll Von BuildingSmasher: Not bloodly likely. Now to go smash this donkey!

Hidden McWeaponTrap: MASTERWORK SERRATED STEEL DISC ATTACK GO!

Troll Von BuildingSmasher: Razor sharp steel moving at high velocity? My only weakness! HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!?!

SPLATTER!

Goblin Von Warleader: Stupid trolls. Come, into this long entry corridor past the ominous brass drawbridge!

Goblin Von Spearstabby: These obsidian bridges underfoot are pretty nice, actually. Needs a hint of dorf blood though.

Goblin Von Hammerguy: The glowing red steel bridges that make up the ceiling are slightly unsettling though. I'm glad we're just here to kill and rape, because flipping this shithole would be an ordeal.

Urist McScout: Baron, the goblin forces have moved into position for Holy Tear's of Armok's Fury! Shall we activate it?

Urist McBaron: Yes, let them know the price of attacking! Activate Magma Trap 2: Electric Boogaloo!

Urist McMechanic: You know I worked really hard on that. Could you use the proper name at least?

Urist McLeverpuller: Pulling Safety Seal Lever! Engaging Main Gate Lever. Safeguards in place. Commencing the manipulation of the Lava Release Lever!*

SLAM! SLAM! POUR!!!

Goblin Von Everydamnoneofthem: OH OUR DARK GODS! THE MAGMA BURNS SO HOT!

Goblin Von Warlord: Ohhh! You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought drunk little dorfs like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! Ohhh! Look out! Look out! I'm going! Ohhhh – Ohhhhhhhhhh!

Urist McLeverpuller: Ending Sequence. Activating Drainage. Disengaging Safety Seals.**

Urist McScout: Corridor cleared! All goblins melted, Baron sir!

Urist McLiason: Hhheeeeeyyyyy gggguuuuuyyyyy, did you know that we're promoting your fort to a county? 


*I use the Note function to label all levers in Forts I make, and their corresponding bridge/floodgate/whatever. The Doomsday lever does exactly what is says on the tin.
**A small operator error on my part caused the magma trap to overflow. Thankfully I had designed a safeguard. The only casualty was my original brass drawbridge, which melted once completed covered.

[Draignean]

Goblin Von Warlord: Ohhh! You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought drunk little dorfs like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! Ohhh! Look out! Look out! I'm going! Ohhhh – Ohhhhhhhhhh!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought this was part was funny because of possibly non-existent erotica reference... (Yes I thought Erotica before the wizard of Oz, sue me.)

[Urist Imiknorris]

I am building R'lyeh.

[shlorf]

Adding some rooms to the paraplegic starvation camp hospital at z-level -10 when suddenly...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You have discovered a magma pool
You have discovered an expansive cavern deep underground
Raw adamantine, praise the miners!
You have discovered a magma lake

Sure gonna be sweet having that red goodness at z-13 

[The11th]

Turns out that I am not as excell

My fortress is currently boring. Sitting at a stable population of about 170. Looking at the list of the dead.... a lot of it is babies and children <_<  Sieges happen, my hallway of death kills everything, and I go about life as usual. Half of the time caravans slaughter the sieges and then I take their goods muahahah. I have large outside fortifications encasing my above ground farms, a few ponds, and part of the brook. The outer fortifications are double-thick, and everything closes with floodgates, not doors. Mostly because I was getting that weird pathing error with doors so I just did away with them completely. I'm thinking of starting a new fort, somewhere... challenging.

Sounds like you need to do some science with ghosts, my pal.

That's what I'm thinking! Time for somewhere sinister muahaha.

[malimbar04]

Two more named weapons, a few more dead forgotten beasts, and an always-busy population of 200 dwarves in my kingdom. I'm currently digging huge swaths of area for the purpose of growing more trees and storing all of the goblinite. leather and cloth goblinite  is especially widespread, though the humans and elves are plenty happy to take it. That's right, the elves are too much of wuses to attack me even though I slaughtered their last caravan.

The two new named weapons have interesting names. Apparently my elites were happy with their old goblin-acquired weapons, even though I made them all exceptional steel short swords.

The Band of Breeds, a iron battle ax, noted for killing a starving forgotten pangolin.

The Iron of Jail, a copper battle ax, noted for killing a few trolls and a lot of goblins. Also noted for having identity issues and feeling like less of a weapon around all these iron and steel based weapons.

Also, due to the excess of goblin corpses (and goblin parts), I'm refitting my dolomite tower to be an open multi-story corpse container. The masons have been very busy for over a year now at an average of more than 10 fps.

[BodyGripper]

New Embark!

Fortress: Woundhearts
Group:  The Ship of Warriors
Civilization:  The Quake of Fires
Biome:  Terrifying Wilderness, currently occupied by an Ogre and several Alligators.  And, allegedly, Giant Eagles.

[feather240]

Abused my first POW, placed a goblin inside a three by three room with nothing but single iron serrated blade traps on the other eight squares. Released him and watched a slow and painful death. XD