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[Mr. Argent]

Well, fuck. Another siege, but this time ~25 cage traps wasn't enough.

AN INTRUDER HAS PENETRATED OUR FORCEFIELD

Let's hope my crossbow force can finish off the gobbos before all of the civilians are horribly murdered.

[Draignean]

Working on first real Mega-Project, a massive offshore tower that uses pumps to effectively generate a big ass crater in the ocean. Dwarves then build stars and climb down into the crater, below sea level. Then while the drilling tower/perpetual motion generator is making the massive reverse waterfalls that are keeping them from getting drowned they build platforms beneath the sea that will eventually do the same thing and make the crater even deeper leading down to the bed of the ocean.

Unfortunately the pumping mechanism isn't perfect and requires immense amounts of power (1000+ per Z-level to generate an effective field.) so occasionally a riptide will get through and sweep a worker off of the platform where he's working, pulling him into the icy embrace of the ocean many feet below. So far this little problem has generated about 15 casualties who can't be buried (until the drill hits bottom) and thus generate the whole "Forced to endure decay of friend/lover/whatever" unhappy thought.

So by way of protest the husband of one of the masons who died working on the sub-sea platform threw a tantrum and destroyed a horizontal axle, let me say that again...

HE DESTROYED THE AXLE THAT CONNECTED THE MOSES EFFECT FIELD GENERATORS (The only thing keeping all of the masons from dying horribly) TO THE POWER SUPPLY IN PROTEST THAT HIS WIFE HAD DIED IN THE EXACT SAME ACCIDENT THAT HE JUST INDUCED ON A MASSIVE SCALE.

Stupid dwarf.

[Davie]

After two years of diligent dorfing, I finally managed to pierce through the aquifer layer via complicated and messy process involving seven pumps, a moat, several hundred gallons of mud, a wooden caisson, and a carpenter who managed to wall himself up into an aquifer tile, which has to be a nasty way to go.  Aquifers are a pain, and despite easy well-building and moat-filling, two years is a hell of a long time to go without stone.  As it is, the aquifer was so difficult to get through I think I'll build the rest of my fortress as an above-ground castle, because I'm pretty sure it would be less trouble than trying to create a bunch of tunnels through the soggy layers.

In other news, an engraver was possessed and needed cloth for his project.  We had none, but fortunately it was mid-Felsite and the elven caravan showed up just as the engraver started getting antsy.  I offered the elves all the stone crafts I had for a couple pieces of cloth, which would have netted them a profit of about 3000¤, but I think I accidentally marked a wooden splint or some shit and they refused to trade.  So, like any reasonable overseer would do,  I seized all their stuff and kicked their asses out the door, and the engraver got his cloth, which he made into spikes and stuck all over his artifact.  It was a ring with a picture of the poor dumb dorf who trapped himself in the aquifer on it, which I found curiously heartwarming. I'm currently fortifying for the inevitable elf siege. 

[SlimyMarmot]

Making some progress on my dragon statue megaproject, but there have been some morale issues after I ,uh, accidentally lost 17 children. My best woodcutter was particularly angered, venting his thoughts at the mayor. It seems she refused to listen, as he decided to apply his concerns directly to her brain, with his axe. All in all, the fort is finally under 100 dwarves.

Speaking of dragons, I had one take a visit. Because of the megaproject the fort is a bit dragon-themed so I've been waiting to capture one, setting cage traps at nearly every entrance... expect one. My embark has a volcano, which is directly connected to my fort since I've built a sort of burial tower inside the caldera. Combining this with the fact that I modded in wings for the dragons made me pretty nervous. Sure enough, the dragon flies inside the volcano, crushes a coffin, and then decides to... swim circles in the magma. This gave me some time to set up a line of new traps which combined with a hauler bait managed to capture the thing.

My fort must be of some renown if dragons use it as a spa.

Possible tourist attraction?

[Musashi]

Having too much fun building the outside part of the fort out of ice. And it hadn't even been my first intention when I embarked there. 
(Note to self: ice bridges DO melt.)
Filling the central citern with fresh, fresh water. The hospital well is already functioning. I have many idlers. Reached 99 citizens before I even got a single goblin ambush or siege, or just anything really hostile that wasn't a werewolf or a thief. Frozen moat is there. Building a small labyrinth made of, guess what, ice fortifications in front of the entrance, and above that, the marskdwarfs barracks. Could it be that I am... organized at last?!
Maybe not. There's a useless metalsmith with a fey mood who likes copper and we haven't got any. Wouldn't be much of a problem if Urist didn't have a lover and friends. Huh, shit, everyone seems to have friends here. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

EDIT: BLESSING! A random hunter killed a goblin thief with a copper dagger

[FrisianDude]

OH GOD OH GOD

So a dozen elfs show up riding giant jaguars. No problem, the trap gauntlet will take care of that.

Then a dozen more show up on giant leopards. Hm. How many traps have I got in that trap gauntlet?

Then a dozen MORE show up on giant jaguars. Uh. This might be a problem. I've only just started building Tinwonders a danger room, so my military right now is a bunch of people who do parades in the hall-

Then a dozen MORE show up on giant leopards. Oh shi-...

And then the goblins arrived.

Needless to say the elves are no longer quite a problem, but the goblins pretty much finished off my "military" in the process. Cue tantrum spiral! Dwarf Fortress, putting the "FUUUUUUUU-" back in "FUN!"

Haha, holy shit. How can you even have militia untrained when you've already triggered sieges?

Okay, I have an elite wrestler who's legendary fighter and wrestler because he wrestled an ogre, but still.

[Serio]

So, the population is down to exactly 100. But in the midst of the chaos, I see the mention of a Forgotten Beast in the announcements. I scroll through them, and right enough, Ino has broken through the gate in the caverns and has charged up the stairwell. Of course, he made the mistake of attacking a fortress full of tantrumming dwarves, so he is getting a severe beating right now. It'll be slightly difficult for the four dwarves in the Urist Time Capsule, but I think the fortress will survive.

Update: Yep, the Forgotten Beast has been slain by an Axe Lord and an Axedwarf that happened to be patrolling the dormitories.

[TheJackal]

Urist McManager: I want status reports on all projects!

Urist McMason: Sir, the caldera is walled off, upper fortress sealed and secure! Floors are being erected over the magma surface to provide more workspace!

Urist McManager: What about the caverns?

Urist McMason: Sealed off with five-thick walls of stone, brass, and blood sir.

Urist McManager: Very good. Armorer Union?

Urist McShopforeman: All dorfs have been assigned Armorsmithing, and a 'Dabblers Only' magma forge erected. They're making crap helms until every dorf is a dabbling Armorsmith.

Urist McManager: By Armok, the next fey mood had best claim a dorf with Armoring! We need Masterwork armor to match the razor steel of Urist McMasterWeaponsmith!

Urist McMessenger: Sir, sir! An artifact has been completed! Edannesteth Ritas Alath! A horse bone crossbow! With no decorations or any features besides being an artifact.

Urist McManager: ...........at least its better than a figurine. Give it to the marksdwarf squad. Mechanists! How goes Magma Trap 2: Electric Boogaloo?

Urist McManager: I wish you would call it by its real name sir. Holy Tears of Armok's Fury has been completed, and is filling its cisterns now. Slow going, but the delivery flaws of Armok's Acid Reflux should not repeat.

Urist McManager: All that is left is to ask the Animal Handlers how the army of mandrills is going and then...

A SIEGE HAS ARRIVED

Urist McManager: A....human siege?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK RIPPLES~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe O'Humandiplomat: Yup, this is a nice place, but I had better get going before I die of alcohol poisoning.

Urist McBaron: Yeah.......about that. You see, there is a massed force of goblins and trolls outside, so we had to seal the fortress. Yeah....so I'm gonna need you to stay around for a while. Great.

Joe O'Humandiplomat: No! I'm claustrophobic! You smell! THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN AROUND ME! MY BLOOD IS MADE OF SPIDERS!

Urist McMother: Here, tall person about to go berserk. Let the sight of my infant child sooth you! Listen to his adorable burbles! Tug his tiny flaxen beard!

Joe O'Humandiplomat: FALCON PAWNCH!!!!

Warhorse....McWarhorse?: Neigh.

~~~END FLASHBACK~~~

Urist McManager: Okay, that might explain it.

[FrisianDude]

That was hilarious.

Also, Elves have been unexpectedly useful this spring, they brought an elephant bull AND a tiger. Ogre problem? What Ogre problem?

Edit; war tiger died due to abundance of ogre.

[Internet Kraken]

Part 49 of my LP is up.

Something about forgotten beasts and giant spiders. Nothing much happened of interest.

[TolyK]

nice.
now go and make an automated FB catcher 

[rephikul]

play testing and got GCS showing up for 1250 a piece on embark screen

[de5me7]

never found HFS before today, despite having been playing this game on and off since 08.

9 survivors, but only because they took out my irrigation system and trapped them selves in the lower portion of the fort. My rather untrained military did get two tho

[Draignean]

Well the offshore mining rig had to be temporarily shut down after my idiot dwarf cut power to it and killed the crew working below. This resulted in a tantrum spiral with 80+ dwarves.
 
Suddenly in the course of a month 3 dwarves are taken by moods, 1 fell, 1 secretive, and one possession. The guy in a fell mood tipped the powder keg into the volcano by grabbing the mayor and killing him. (Dwarf bone animal trap... maybe it's a leg trap? get it? HAHAHAHAha... heh... I kill me.) The other two guys got killed by a tantrum-taken woodcutter. (He later murdered another 4 people in various "accidents" and currently is sentenced to be locked up for over 4 years) Over the course of half a year the population went from 80 to 60. Just when I thought I had everything under control I get the message "Miner Cancels mine: gone insane. Urist McMiner has gone berserk. So okay great I go through the exact same drill I did with the other berserking fools, release the kitten flares and let the thirty war dogs at him.

The bastard killed them. Every single dog that tried to kill him got various parts of its anatomy cut off and hurled into the distance. He didn't even slow down to kill a dwarven child who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was at this point I remembered that he was my super legendary original miner dwarf... I drafted a bum rush militia and attacked. Urist McMiner slaughtered them and chased a few fleeing recruits around for a while before bashing their brains in. For lack of a better option I drafted the only other mass murderer I had, the woodcutter who had cut 6 people in half.

They met and my woodcutter literally run straight through him without pausing and cut him in half.

Way to go mass murdering Woodcutter Vs. Incurably insane miner   

End tally of the Miners kills, 66. 24 Dogs, wardogs, and cats, and 42 dwarves. 

[Internet Kraken]

play testing and got GCS showing up for 1250 a piece on embark screen

That would be due to the high pet value of GCS. An animals price on embark is based on its pet value.