Helmlobsters is going down the tubes, but slowly and painfully. 99 dwarves, then 93, then 120, now 110. Migrants are just about balancing out stupidity.
No less than three previous caravans have arrived just before, at the same time as, or right after a goblin ambush, and hiding behind my walls and looting afterwards has given me a wide range of stuff, most of it useless.
"The elven caravan has arrived" - Yay! I can pawn off the hundreds of gold crafts I've been churning out. And the dozens of "<<+Giant Bat Leather Loincloth+>>" I seem to have (not as scary as the "XXGiant Bat Leather LoinclothXX" someone is wandering around holding...). And get some plants, as we're a little short on greens.
Then one, two, three, four, five (!) ambushes. Two of them fall under my Bridge of Doom (after scaring off the merchants), one peppers a cat and a clueless Clothier with bolts then leaves, and most of four and five meet the Bridge and are flung places. Mostly underwater, and they drown.
But three goblins (maces, for the most part) end up on little isolated areas with no access on or off (wall on one side, water on the others). Either side of my main bridge. Two have mostly red body parts, and one is just chilling. Dwarves refuse to cross the bridge 'cos of the goblins! I try everything, but my crossbow squad refuse to fire, except for the Very Unhappy one, but he doesn't hit anyone (I think he was a friend of the Clothier, though his personality description makes him sounds like an axe murderer). End up tunnelling under the water, around a few corners and through a wall into the wounded two, who still manage to put one of my militia in hospital before going down. The one on the other side still blocks all traffic with the outside world, except for my emergency tunnel. After planning his demise in detail, including building a catapult on the other side, and gathering all squads around his enclosure, I deconstruct part of the wall, and he rushes out into the only cage trap left empty.
While this was happening, my only decent stonecrafter gets possessed and goes mad just as the last goblin is dealt with. Fortunately, with the entire military standing there, he got one punch in on a hunting dog before being sliced in half. With all the looting, I think I have everything he might want, so confused about that.
To punish the captured goblins (all 36 of them), they go in a chamber next to the magma forge plumbing. With all the crundles and plump helmet men there too, I stockpile a few obsidian at the entrance, and send in someone to carve holes. Meanwhile, legendary miner Urist McF-wit decides to go on break in a small isolated room, crammed with caged goblins, right next to the volcano. I notice him there just as the magma starts flowing. Mason starts building the wall, and I wait for McF-wit to do something. No. Just sits there until magma sets his feet on fire, then he runs a few steps, and then settles back down for a warm lava bath. Why? I set him a path to tunnel out, but, no. I'm calling it suicide...
Meanwhile, best engraving is of the death of the one-humped camel during the rampage of an ettin. Ettin was beating the camel with a "<<Toy Larch Boat>>", doing minor damage, and then would be exhausted. Camel would then get enraged and fail to hurt ettin. This went on for so long, I unsealed the fortress and sent out the dwarves to loot the rest of the caravan close to the battle. I'd forgotten about it after 10 minutes or so, until the ettin finally killed the camel, and promptly walked into a cage trap. I've got four of them now.