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[strongrudder]

Still playing my very first fort, which is just about to ding 17 years. I'm going to start to get reckless, since the only real threat to the fort at this point (40d) is a complete lack of water. My fortress has been booze-only for probably close to 10 fort-years. For any dwarf, a leg injury is a death sentence, and I finally decided to stop deconstructing the beds of injured dwarves with sound legs to make them eat/drink. Saving my Captain of the Guard at the beginning of the crisis was worth it, but it's too much micromanagement to do for everyone.

So I pulled the plug on a spearmaster of mine that had been playing musical beds for a couple years. Right before he died, I noticed he was unhappy (a rare occurrence in my fort). Checked his thoughts, realized that other than his dehydration and starvation complaints, his lover had been the sole casualty of a recent goblin siege. I quickly gave him a tomb that overlapped her coffin and let him slip away to the sounds of Scotland the Brave. Nowhere near as epic as the hall of engravings and IRL bagpipes, but he deserved at least a little taste of it for his service and loss.

[Boes]

I have a miner in a fey mood a month into this new fortress attempt.  And since I was trying to figure out the burrows he seems content to grab every piece of stone that has not already been used,  I guess I'm going to let him go for a few months/years until the mess is all cleaned up before I try to define the burrows again.


Edit:  Serkibzarut "The Random Insanity", a cinnabar coffer   $7106400   131 page description,  granted it was plane packed so it doesn't count for the natural epic artifacts.

Edit:  just thought about this, but Random Insanity pretty well covers most of DF

[Jacob/Lee]

A legendary miner decided to sit by a hole in the cotton candy pipes to the circus, a clown came out, threw him into a wall, broke his legs, grabbed him by the foot and dragged him down the hole to the circus.

[Kearn]

Still trying to figure out why my dwarves keep riding dumped stone into a volcano...

[Arekis]

Paintedbowels has become a thriving village.  The resettlement continues and the budding population is putting strain on the food resources.  The original settlers are almost all resting in the catacombs beneath the stones.  Sadly, they cannot be given a proper burial, but at least they are honored.  Their end was abrupt and painful: a forgotten beast broke through an improperly constructed barricade in the caverns and destroyed the fort with its deadly dust.    The new 7 spent a great deal of time moving the bodies now scattered everywhere.  Some skeletons still remain in deep reaches of the caverns, likely watched over by giant rats, antmen, and beasts strange and fierce. 

Orc armies and goblin raiders wander the surface, occasionally picking off a stray dog or an unfortunate dwarf (3 soldiers, two legendary marksdwarves, and 5 civilians perished).  The fortress gates and battlements provide only tentative protection from the elite foes and the fort military is fledgling at best.  Training goes slowly, but the metalsmiths are finally crafting fine gear.  Once the dwarves are better equipped, it will be time to retake the caverns.  A cave crocodile ate 5 dwarves as they were building irrigation pumps in the cavern.  On top of that, two forgotten beasts appeared and the project had to be temporarily abandoned.  The entryways were blocked off in time, hopefully impenetrably.  The beasts fancied an antman dinner and proceeded to destroy that small civilization.  One of their spearmen fought for what must have been two seasons before succumbing to fatigue.

The presence of a curious structure was confirmed and the excavation of the temple exterior has begun!  The dwarves have never seen such a construction, but heard tales of what lies beneath.  The plan is to dig out a massive temple around it and present an offering.  The offering will be led by the orc general currently held in a cage.  Hopefully he will have a couple of hundred friends, patience permitting.

[Ragingpantsless]

Had to start a new fort, roofs not being reinforced enough to withstand the dropping of everything in a cage, and started out on a nice flat surface. Followed by three waves of Rhesus Macaques. Thank you miners for showing your support of the fortress, along with your bloodlust. Winter came, and I've decided to put the caged Rhesus into the arena for the fun and profit of my armed forces, butchers, tanners, leather workers and so on. The death walk also continues splendidly. I'm going to enjoy seeing those goblins dodge the rocks, right into a 15 z level spiked pit.

[Ragingpantsless]

A Kobold thief broke in and promptly found the objections to his presence known via the sharp end of an axe. I knew putting 'this end towards enemy' would work. Thank you Urist McLegendary Armorsmith for all your patient effort in making masterwork steel everything. Now if the butcher can get off his good for nothing butt, and at least make an attempt to keep his work area clean, we would be fantastic.

[Draignean]

Still on my first REAL fortress (The two attempts prior didn't last but three months) 4 years in and apparently due to a bug with the current version I'm not about to get any goblins anytime soon. So instead I dug down, found the first cavern and decided to declare war on anything that moved just to shake things up. The first real thing I found was a tribe of lizard people, my copper clad (Copper is the only metal I have found so far besides gold, which is damn useless.) militia is called into action and the two forces charge valiantly into battle.

For some reason I had neglected to notice that one of my sworddwarves was a mother of two, and was still carrying her six month old in her arms while her seven year old decided that it would be a good time to visit mommy. The battle was two-to-one in favor of the lizzies but we survived without casualties, primarily because my militia captain (The mother of two) made excellent USE OF HER OWN BABY AS A BODY SHIELD! The unarmored infant suffered a bruised leg, a slash to the upper body and both arms, and a dent to the head. However the baby has survived, and we hold high hopes for her recovery.

Still she has a dent in her head...

[Urist Imiknorris]

I started a new fort on a flat volcano.

I fixed the raw errors preventing magma crabs and helmet snakes from appearing, changed the helmet snake's environment tags to [UNDERGROUND_DEPTH:1:3][POPULATION_NUMBER:500:500][CLUSTER_NUMBER:100:100].

There was a curious structure, so I cracked open dfreveal and took a look.

1000 zombie/skeletal helmet snakes. Dear God. Please say undead don't have venom.

[NightmareBros]

Urist Imiknorris, if you somehow fail to engrave the epic saga of how your dwarfs fought and defeated/died to 1000 zombie snakes in to this forum, then I swear your going to be hauling dolomite for the rest of your life.

[Dok Enkephalin]

The goblins are getting serious. 48 troops, all on mounts, none with missile but some on winged creatures. Minus one -- a giant bat and it's rider got shot down in the courtyard, leaving the loot in easy reach of my soldiers (silver scourge, sweet!) Of 6 of the trolls with them there's one ranger, firing copper bolts that haven't hit anything but kittens.

I can afford to be patient; I had to cook thousands of meals to consolidate the food stocks, and we'll be dining on forgotten beast for quite awhile. If the one underwater crawls out of his own ichor, or a dwarf takes up spearfishing, then we'll have even more. Structural security is sealed tight, but unfortunately I didn't get to finish my pitfall path, and due to exposure to the goblins I doubt I'll be able to build the bridge to open it up for visitors. I've got three new siege operators, so it's back to rock-throwing while the steel is forged.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Urist Imiknorris, if you somehow fail to engrave the epic saga of how your dwarfs fought and defeated/died to 1000 zombie snakes in to this forum, then I swear your going to be hauling dolomite for the rest of your life.

There's also about 20 pages of hoary marmots, elk birds, troglodytes, and black-crested gibbons. That, combined with my currently-being-hatched plan to seal off the deepest of the depths, means that for once, I think the trial above will be harder than the trial below.

[Lord Vetinari]

One of my leatherworker had a secretive mood, and made a good leather cape artifact, which were the first good artifact of this fort, among a plethora of mechanisms, socks and all kind of bullshit. I wanted to give it to my army commander. Than the game froze and I had to kill the process, restart and reload a save way before all this happend. A new mood came, roughly at the same time, for a mason instead. He stole the remaining two leather pieces, five wood logs, stone, gems, bones. I though that he was going to work on some luxury piece of forniture, instead he made a lignite millstone, the lamest and less valuable artifact in all my DF2010 games so far.

I am very happy.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Artifact mechanisms are awesome. What are you talking about.

[Lord Vetinari]

Not really. They can't be selled and they don't work faster than normal mechanisms. They do make weapon traps more deadly, but I don't use weapon traps (I prefer drowning chambers and pits).