Ursit McGuardCaptain: I heard that one of the foul beasts is approaching the fort. You better round up the boys and put it down.
Urist McMilitiaCommander: Sure, just let me finish this ale first.
*later*
Ursit McGuardCaptain: The soldiers are all charging down into the abyss. Shouldn't you go with them?
Urist McMilitiaCommander: Oh I would, but I'm just so tired after fighting those zombie bluefish. I wouldn't be much of a help in my current state. I'm sure they'll be fine.
*later*
Ursit McGuardCaptain: One of the haulers saw them fighting. .......they're not doing so well. You really need to help them.
Urist McMilitiaCommander: Alright, alright, just let me pick up my equipment. I'm sure I left that gauntlet lying around here somewhere.
*later*
Ursit McGuardCaptain: Come on, you can hear their screams all the way up here! Get down there and fight!
Urist McMilitiaCommander: Oh...well, I um.....need to get provisions! That's right. I can't be charging into battle without a backpack full of food, now can I?
Ursit McGuardCaptain: You bloody coward! I don't see how an Elf like you became the milita commander. I'll deal with this abomination myself! Now where did I put my adamantine crossbow....bah! I don't need it. I'll just bash it to death with this copper shield!
At this point Ngogngo (how would you even pronounce that) is just taunting me. He ripped one of the soldier's arms off, removed his copper gauntlet, and his now beating them to death with it.