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[Fistbeard]

My champions liven things up.
(40d spoilers)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[OmnipotentGrue]

My lord.

[Fistbeard]

I feel like I should NOT have hotlinked that or whatever term.

Year 11 of Armorseals' "Fuck the Elves" policy begins. I simply don't get why they haven't attacked. I must have killed-- I checked-- 49 of their merchants. And they still come to trade. What.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

COME ON, MAN. WHAT?

[Medicine Man]

Try cutting down a liason.

[OmnipotentGrue]

Hint: Break his legs.

[Eric Blank]

It's been a rather eventful year in Goldenlabored.
First, I received an artifact ring worthy of the Worst Artifacts thread. It did name a couple historical figures for me to look up, A rabid grizzly bear and a dwarf by the name of Olin, both more than likely deceased, although hunting down a rabid bear would make an interesting adventure mode goal...

Second, the elves, their diplomat, and a Cobald liaison without a caravan came. I decided to piss on the elven parade and 1. deny their requests to stunt our woodcutting (I honestly need to clear quite a few trees with the construction projects going on, but screw them anyways.). 2. I offer them a wooden bin full of wooden crafts. 3. I seize all their interesting goods. I was disappointed they didn't bring me anything interesting anyway, least boring animal they brought was a rhesus macaque, i was hoping for to see tigermen, which can at least double as fishermen (the only labor tamed, intelligent animals will currently perform, besides bringing what they catch to the stockpile) on top of being relatively interesting. Oh well, there are wild ones, rarely, on my map.

The Cobald, on top of coming unaccompanied, just said hello, complimented me on my wonderful architecture (chaos as far as my forts usually go), and took off with surprising speed. Maybe he's just afraid of the wildlife?
Summer involved absolutely nothing but work.

Finally, in Autumn, I finished the moat around the fortress and wall off the crossing point. The entire process, spanning 3 z-levels, involved only a single cave in, it was quite thoroughly unexpected. Immediately afterward, two trade liaisons, unaccompanied by caravans for unknown reasons

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

maybe it's because I didn't add [COMMON_DOMESTIC_MOUNT] to their entities?

, arrived. The first was a Cobald from the local Cobald civ, and the second, surprisingly, was Nothing, from Nowhere, the local orcish civ. I wasn't really expecting to not see you so soon, nobody, especially not unarmed and without a platoon consisting of no-one. 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Haven't actually let them in yet but the dwarf caravan should be right behind them and I would like some of the weapons I ordered. I intend to craft a horrifying experience for the orc to see if i can prompt war out of them, they were meant to act like goblins but without the ambushes. The Cobald can go on admiring my architecture unless I decide war with them would be fun too.

Had about enough for tonight, goodbye.

[Medicine Man]

I am reclaiming after a situation of mass Fun happened when the goblins brang steel weapons,they killed my military dwarfs while they were sleeping,the fucking cowards!anyway I found one passed out due to pain and my dwarfs don't seem to mind it being around,even when it wakes up so I am digging a hole around it and I am going to cave it in.(edit)after 2 cave in's the gobbo isn't dead,so I put a tunnel of magma on it since it is on an up/down staircase the magma just flows over it making a slow and painful death.

[Valguris]

right after i lost my (untrained) military to goblin ambush. At least I know now how to make them train...

Btw. Is that normal, that whenever military fights FB, one of the dwarves instantly (i would say, at a glance at FB) become legendary wrestler and fighter? It happened to me 2nd time (out of 2 FBs).

[kilakan]

ya it's rather normal, FB's are generally huge and crazy strong, both of which greatly increase the wrestler exo gained via fighting, also check his description he should be rated as gigantic and extremly muscular now, aka dwarven hulk.

[Supersquee]

Well i'm currently in my first fort to survive the first Goblin Ambush, I also managed to survive my second. However I can't help but feel that in a movie of this I would be classified as the villian. You see, these ambushes are more likely to be rescue attempts conisdering the arena filled with mutilated goblin corpses and the room still filled with caged Goblins.

I have so far caught every snatcher, Master Thief and the majority of my attackers in a ring of cage traps and to be honest they're starting to get annoying. I use them for training purposes, despite failing to manage to get to grips with the disarming of my prisoners, and the corpses are beginning to stink up my "Forbidden Zone".

Anyway, the latest attack went quite well...for me. It coincided with a Human Caravan perfectly, the humans promptly being slaughtered, as I captured their scouting thieves at my gates. I then sent out my military might of a Macedwarf and a Speardwarf, with my archers on the bridge over my bridge over my lava moat. (I love Volcanos)

And so began the ritual of the cages. After roughly 3 of my actual attackers were caged and one was currently playing host to a spear they began to run, being chased by my mace dwarf over the entirety of my map, all was going to plan until their lasher decided to put up a fight.
Quick question here, as I am not familiar with foreign weapons are whips generally caleld "Silver Scourge"?Because if they aren't it could explain how my brave macedwarf managed to get so horribly thrashed, having most of his ribs broken as well as an arm and a leg before he finished off the berserk goblin.

Now poor Urist McMace lies in hospital being attended to by my inept doctor, lying in a pool of his own vomit and blood. Next time I think I might just retract the bridge.

[Valguris]

ya it's rather normal, FB's are generally huge and crazy strong, both of which greatly increase the wrestler exo gained via fighting, also check his description he should be rated as gigantic and extremly muscular now, aka dwarven hulk.

They didn't gain it from fighting. They gained it just BEFORE their first strike, from dabbling to legendary. And, they actually had weapons, so why they increased wrestling skills but not weapon skills at all?
The 'gigantic and extremly muscular' statement should be in 'Thoughts and preferences' menu? If so, I can't tell you if they had it, because they both died, and there is just 'his/her upper body is gone'.

[CapnKorin]

My fort is slowly dying.

For some reason a few of my dwarves won't do anything, my farmer won't farm or plant seeds, only my newly migrated carpenter will do it. My only military dwarf won't go train, he sits on his booty all day long, the only people that will use the obstacle course are people were actually working.

I don't understand the new military system.

Or why my dwarves are being lazy.

Only that I'm very tempted to break open the lock on my river seal and let loose the tides of water.

They're really pissing me off.

[Beeskee]

A 50,000 db loveletter to the former outpost liaison.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

CapnKorin, try using Dwarf Therapist to double check their labors. Also, if you put everyone in the military, make sure they are inactive and they will do their labors normally, but they may take a break to train. Make sure, if they are assigned to burrows, that the burrows include the workshops you want them to use. If the dwarfs are in the military and you have enabled a barracks with armor stands and weapon racks and enabled training for squads at them, try disabling training on the barracks object and see if they do any labors.

Valguris, they got legendary wrestling from the FB attacking them, not from them attacking the FB.  FBs are powerful so if  a dwarf survives the first blow, they will end up with legendary wrestling very quickly.

[Truean]

Starting with a very detailed background on all the characters.

Pausing to consider what and where I will dig and what the characters will say to one another. I've posted it on this site and think it is somewhat entertaining.

[Supersquee]

It is a sad day, my Macedwarf previously injured by the cowardly Goblin Lasher has succumbed to infection, my inept Chief Medicine Dwarf will soon be fired...I mean Fried.

Let his bravery and 3 kills be remembered in the stone and items of this fort, his companion and sparring partner lives on still, as does the inept Swordsdwarf who never turns up to fight or train, and has honoured his memory by defeating a third ambush of 6 crossbowmen and 2 human traitors. Alas now the majority of my archers also suffer at the cruel Doctors hands.