Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Greiger]

My Cheif Medical Dracon just got into a fey mood.  he claimed a crafts-shop and immediately starts demanding body parts.

I know he's just doing the "I have no moodable skills so I'm just making some random crap." mood.  But still I find the fact that he is my only halfway to competent doc, and that he wants body parts amusing, like he wants to make a Frankenstein monster or something.

[Quantum Toast]

My Cheif Medical Dracon just got into a fey mood.  he claimed a crafts-shop and immediately starts demanding body parts.

I know he's just doing the "I have no moodable skills so I'm just making some random crap." mood.  But still I find the fact that he is my only halfway to competent doc, and that he wants body parts amusing, like he wants to make a Frankenstein monster or something.

"This is a dwarven wrestler. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality."

[tastypaste]

Forgotten Beast with poison dust arrived. He got into the central stairs and caused a bottleneck of fleeing dwarfs to repeatedly run into him. 14 died including 5 with legendary and high master skills. The worst part was every cat, kitten, dog, war dog and puppy in the fort was killed by the poison dust, thus ending my 10 year breeding program to make war dogs for every military member. The entire time this was happening, the military was sitting in the barracks doing nothing because they couldn't find a path to the Beast due to the bottleneck and pathfinding issues. Had to wait for the beast to kill all the dwarfs in the way before the military could get to him in the open. Almost everyone lost a relative or friend or pet. Somehow no one threw a tantrum.

EDIT: A second beast arrived a season later. It was made of glass and couldn't be killed. Even after losing all its limbs and tail, it just kept 'pushing' all my dwarfs until their bones were broken. Military is all gone. I have no war animals left. I've sealed off the fort with walls. Caravan of humans was there, so they got sealed in too. My new plan is to dig a second tunnel straight down until I reach clownium and unleash the fun. I haven't seen that yet and this is a perfect opportunity.

[Urist McDepravity]

The Axedwarf slaps The Kobold Thief in the head with the flat of his steel battle axe, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing apart the brain!
The Kobold Thief has been knocked unconscious!
The steel battle axe has lodged firmly in the wound!

THATS what I call a 'slap'.

[Rotten]

So a goblin ambush shows up, and due to buggy military and combat, kills all my unarmored untrained supposed-to-be axedwarves, before then killing 14 citizens before a dwarf got in a lucky hit, killing a heavily wounded goblin and causing the other ambushers to flee. However, the followup has been worse- a hunter has gone berserk and is bugged, my remaining military will not attack him on a kill order, so 40 dwarves are running around starving in the stockpiles (which have everything, except the food is behind the hunter, who is STILL beating up an engraver after a month) and topside, a miner got a macabre mood. When I 'Q' over his workshop, he says 'Leave me. I need things... certain things" According to the wiki, he needs remains, in which I have in the form of 14 DWARF CORPSES RIGHT NEXT TO THE GUY (and a dog). I can't butcher anything, as he has my only butcher shop, and the hunter is guarding all the stone (curse you obsessive stone dumping! Why?! WHY!?!) so I can't build a new one. I guess I could deconstruct part of my cave-in trap (which got me in this mess in the first place- I had to deconstruct my other defenses to fit it in and the goblins showed up at JUST the right time...) but I don't have any animals (they were my distractions for the gobbos, and the hunter/ random tantrumers killed most of the others). So yeah. I'm screwed. Even if the hunter doesn't starve everybody, the high master miner and his handy pick will impale every dwarf.  Urist Von Neumann, legendary mechanic- gone. And 68 other dwarves.

But it's going to look awesome.

EDIT: I actually survived all of this, miners as soldiers ftw, but then a goblin siege showed up. They got past the traps (stonefall traps oneshotted, but only managed to get 10), so 10 goblins and a troll wreaked havoc all over my fort. Last one standing was a lowly weaver, who ran away for several days until he was caught and crushed.

I'm turning off invaders. Military doesn't god damned work. Ugh.

[Tarran]

I'm getting my Multirace fortress going. (By using this) Bad idea to embark with around a hundred creatures... Oh well, at least water is fine (I RAN OUT OF BOOZE!), since I've got a river and plenty of plants (at least until I run out of plants to harvest above ground). This is a more interesting then having only a normal dwarf fort to say the least.

[Urist McDepravity]

So my fort was visited by unkillable blob of ash. For this reason I usually have cavern layer walled off, so it couldn't path directly into fort and was just running around scaring the workers above it (bad habit digging down with staircases).
I dont like having invincible thingies nearby, so blob elimination device was ordered to be built.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Dropping few tons of rock on it did the job, and it got itself nice tomb somewhere in the microcline cluster there.
By trial and error i found that grates over channels do a nice job as safety measure, since FBs have buildingdestroyer and they just destroy the grate instead walking over it. Doors, obviously, didn't work.
Since FB is much faster than dorf, elephant was caged on its way, to win the miner enough time to get to safety.
Amusingly, when FB reached the elephant, elephant just pushed it off the floor down to channel. Blob had hard impact into the ground, fracturing its ash body and losing its shell. It did climb back slowly, and this time I splattered it with cave-in before it got to elephant.

And I finally finished my magma workshop area. 20 pumps, 1500 power by double DWR, and lots of designing and digging.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[de5me7]

im currently flooding out cave level one, after rerouting a river. Once its occupants are drowned i will channel the water down to cave level 2 and so on.

also looking through my dorfs skills, all my jewelers are competant liers or better, coincidence?

[moki]

Nope, that's pretty normal.
I just had an adept jeweler and liar arrive... "Just hand me all the nice precious stones. I'm a jeweler, you know "

My current fort ist still new - only 19 dwarves. I ordered the starting 7 to dig down into the caves right from the beginning. First there was a giant underground lake, but the next cave was a nice forest by a lakeside. I was just walling off a small living area (GCS webs make me nervous), when  5 troglodytes appeared out of nowhere.
Nobody got hurt  (except the trogs), as miners are so deadly and my woodcutter's a decent axedwarf. Ok, now finish that wall, before even worse stuff comes through... why exactly are there so many crundles in my farming area?
I propose "crundle" to be a new verb, as in "My base got crundled so badly, I had to draft everybody into the militia". These guys are so annoying. Nobody got hurt (the expedition leader got his fat bruised, whatever that means), but every time I try to build something, another horde comes along and interrupts everything 

[Greiger]

Rhesus Macaques wandered into my fortress' main gate and ran around terrorizing folks.  So I order my military to move to the surface, hoping that they will see the annoying little monkeys and dispatch them praying to armok that they will remember to bring their equipment.

What do ya know, the military worked!  They all poured out of my hole in the ground and spread out in all directions spraying monkey blood all over the courtyard.

Unfortunately the crossbow users still didn't actually fire their crossbows, despite full quivers, but when they are made of steel and as large as their wielder...

Spoiler: Viewer Discretion Advised (click to show/hide)

The militia captain bashes The Rhesus Macaque in the head with his (steel siege crossbow), bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing apart the brain!
The Rhesus Macaque has been knocked unconscious!
The (steel siege crossbow) has lodged firmly in the wound!

...yea...I'll bet it's unconscious.  It's head just suffered an existential failure.

[Ivar360]

Rhesus Macaques wandered into my fortress' main gate and ran around terrorizing folks.  So I order my military to move to the surface, hoping that they will see the annoying little monkeys and dispatch them praying to armok that they will remember to bring their equipment.

I recently found that chaining a cougar or bear next to your entrance will keep 90% of those monkeys at a save distance at all times. This gives your military time to wander around aimlessly not firing their bows and generaly slacking off

[Guilliman]

Rhesus Macaques wandered into my fortress' main gate and ran around terrorizing folks.  So I order my military to move to the surface, hoping that they will see the annoying little monkeys and dispatch them praying to armok that they will remember to bring their equipment.

I recently found that chaining a cougar or bear next to your entrance will keep 90% of those monkeys at a save distance at all times. This gives your military time to wander around aimlessly not firing their bows and generaly slacking off

Need one more elephant to begin operation 'Breed War E'  My entrance will be lined up by one hundred of them! whuhahahaha

[buckets]

Looks like my expedition leader died in a cave in. No big loss, it was just a baby fortress.

[Bryan Derksen]

By trial and error i found that grates over channels do a nice job as safety measure, since FBs have buildingdestroyer and they just destroy the grate instead walking over it. Doors, obviously, didn't work.

Genius! I've been using lots of drawbridges as Forgotten Beast gates but I've never been able to get my dwarves to pull the right lever in time yet.

This is almost as good as the Gremlin Trap, a lever that destroys a support that crushes whoever pulled the lever. Do Forgotten Beasts destroy supports?

[Urist McDepravity]

Do Forgotten Beasts destroy supports?

Sadly, no, they just pass by. Seems like they learned the hard way that breaking supports is bad.