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[Greiger]

My military is being incompetent.  They've been training forthe better part of a year.  So far I have seen them do demonstrations of unarmed striking, biting(ohm nom nom) and dodging.  At least the dodging will actually have some use, but how 'bout using those shiny training swords I got ya?  Your commander has swordsman skill, put two and two together please.

And now two of them are complained about the long patrol so I stuck their unit on no scheduled orders for a few months.  They still insist on watching eachother bite at air instead of going on vacation...  I usually pride myself on my military might instead of using mountains of traps, this is almost driving me to whip out the mechanisms and green glass disks.

[PopeRichardCorey]

My military is being incompetent.  They've been training forthe better part of a year.  So far I have seen them do demonstrations of unarmed striking, biting(ohm nom nom) and dodging.  At least the dodging will actually have some use, but how 'bout using those shiny training swords I got ya?  Your commander has swordsman skill, put two and two together please.

And now two of them are complained about the long patrol so I stuck their unit on no scheduled orders for a few months.  They still insist on watching eachother bite at air instead of going on vacation...  I usually pride myself on my military might instead of using mountains of traps, this is almost driving me to whip out the mechanisms and green glass disks.

Have you told them to use training swords in the equipment screen?  So far, as long as I have an arsenal dwarf who isn't busy hauling logs all over the damn place, I really haven't had any problems.

[Greiger]

Yea I did the equip thing and told them to use training swords.  I have recently set them inactive.  They are STILL watching demonstrations.  But at least they are back to dodging.  Unfortunately the teacher is only lv 2 in dodging, everyone else in the unit is level 5 or 6ish.  They're still learning though.  (Actually, just now looking it seems their somehow learning sword use too.  They started with only the commander at novice sword, and now they are all at proficient.  I have no idea how, they have been doing nothing but dodging demonstrations for half a year now.)

In the next barracks over my lancers are doing nothing but individual combat drills, which seems to be working out alright, but the crossbowmen in the range across the hall, haven't so much as touched a training bolt.  They are gaining more skill from taking potshots at elephants from the walls than from the range.

As an unrelated update the elves showed up recently, and brought alot of animals.  War bears happened.
The more awesome thing? They brought a breeding pair of tame hippos.
The funny thing? The hippos were brought on top of a warthog.
The odd thing? The hippos clearly exist.  Yet they refuse to show up on my animals list.
 
EDIT: And I just noticed something else.  My outpost liaison is armed.  And well armed. Hallelujah it's about time!  He's slaughtering octoroc outside my gate with his siege crossbow.

[PopeRichardCorey]

The odd thing? The hippos clearly exist.  Yet they refuse to show up on my animals list.

I've been having related problems.  I didn't even stop to think about it being a bug.  Are they tasked for anything?  That was what I figured was happening; they were tasked to be transported, so wouldn't show up.

[Greiger]

I don't think so.  They wouldn't show up in the list when they were still in their cages when I seized purchased them from the elves, they didn't show up when their cages were built so I could let them out, and they don't show up wandering freely around my fortress being confused for horses.

[Vercingetorix]

The scramble for wood.  The freezing/terrifying taiga/mountain biome has plenty on the surface, but it's either too cold or too full of undead giant eagles to be worth exploiting the surface...we hunkered down in the caverns and are relying on subterranean wood instead.

Of course, there's something satisfying about the vast majority of our wood products being good dwarven tower-caps and fungiwood rather than decadent surface trees.

[Jimmy]

I've never cut a tree in at least 20 forts. Let the traders bring 'em to me, I say.

[Deathworks]

Hi!

I don't think so.  They wouldn't show up in the list when they were still in their cages when I seized purchased them from the elves, they didn't show up when their cages were built so I could let them out, and they don't show up wandering freely around my fortress being confused for horses.

Yes, some tame animals will not show up in the animal list, probably because they can't become pets. You can still slaughter them via (v)iewing the unit and you can quickly access them via the (u)nit menu.
It has been that way for quite a long time (I have been trading with elves all the time).

Deathworks

[PopeRichardCorey]

So, after about a season, the 7-10 goblins who hadn't become caught in cage traps were scattered around the map, standing within a few tiles of where they had killed defenseless pets.  Tired of my dwarves spamming "cancels place item in tomb" messages even though I had forbidden everythign on the surface, I sent my militia out to kill the goblins one by one.

I had one fatality caused by a dwarf (luckily, the only one with a unique custom profession) running out to his opponent before the other 8.  (The 10th member of the squad died...  somehow...  a while back.)  The siege is finally over when I kill the last one.  I remove the "stay the ass inside" command from everyone, reclaim everything on the surface, and everyone rushes out to grab everything.

Then three things happen in rapid succession.

1) The Human Caravan Arrives.
2) One of my original 7 (my herbalist/mechanic) gets a mood.
3) another siege comes. 

This time, ALL the goblins are riding cave crocodiles and giant toads, and they have come with trolls.  Should a siege come so soon after another one?  The last siege was here for 2 seasons max, probably less than that.

I order everyone inside.  They get inside.  My mooded mechanic gets in there too.  Not everyone does...  I started the last siege with 80 dwarves.  I lost 2-3 dwarves during the siege; one a soldier, one a hauler who I decided to send out there just in case, and one possibly not extant from the start of the siege.  Now, though, I have 67 dwarves.  I also lost my chief medical dwarf.

I've got a soldier in the hospital with a fairly minor wound.  His arm is gashed open.  Done by a goblin, who he and his friend prompltly kiled.  But it's all sutured up, it's turned yello.  He should be in the hospital, yes, but he should also be able to drink his damn booze.  Every few seconds I get a "cancel give water: no water source" message, because due to poor planning I can't build an indoor well.

So, while the humans lie dead and their goods lie, not even fully unloaded, in my entrance hall (which I can't reach because I forgot to design an airlock for my depot), my miners begin digging to get to the first cavern.  My "nurse" repeatedly sutures the patient, who is surely grimacing.  And my mechanic?  He builds a badass mechanism, made of three rock salt, three kinds of cloth, two rock salt blocks, and a gem.  It's covered in pictures of plump helmets and the king of some dwarf civilization who took over 810 years ago.  It's called "The [something absurd] Mothers."

And I'm positive the cyclops I have in a cage is laughing at me.  I think I"ll let him out into my "naked goblins for slaughter" pen and see if my military can deal with him out of spite.

[stormyseasons]

digging an exploratory shaft down, to try and find the magma before setting up any forges or glass works. I tab to another window for a few minutes....

'You have discovered an extensive cavern underground'
'You have discovered a magma pool' - good news for me, but it didn't stop there... though there are GCS silk webs near said magma... this calls for cage traps. Lots of them

'You have discovered a deep pit' - sounds ominous.
'You have discovered an extensive cavern underground'

edit: and now I found the magma sea too. There is one thing I'm curious about though. Has anyone discovered that after uncovering these features, the gray bar on the left now has a green C and a red H present? what do they represent?

[immibis]

sure it's not a red C and green H?
a red C means unread combat reports.
I forgot what a green H means, but it's some specific type of combat report.

[stormyseasons]

ah, sorry
its a red C and a green H. combat reports? hmmm

*goes to look*

... the open mouth of the magma pipe going down to the magma sea has GCS silk webs on the rim. ....all my furnace operators and glassmakers had best tread softly...

[Jimmy]

Training military is a piece of cake now.

1. Equip soldiers in metal armor.
2. Equip soldiers with wooden training weapons.
3. Lock soldiers in small room.
4. Release stripped caged goblin child snatcher.
5. Kill order goblin.
6. Come back 3 months later when they're all grand masters.

[Urist McDepravity]

4. Release stripped caged goblin child snatcher.
5. Kill order goblin.
6. Come back 3 months later when they're all grand masters.

He will kill all of them. Wrestling can inflict mortal wounds, while training weapons cannot.
I tested this idea in arena, unskilled goblin reached legendary wrestling in no time even against 10 steel-clad dwarfs, and killed more than half of them tearing their throats apart.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Elven wood swords then.