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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 5972805 times)

NewSheoth

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7830 on: November 09, 2010, 12:34:16 pm »

Eh, just the presence of these creeps was causing a major traffic jam. The remaining lava blocking the footsoldiers was like a watched pot; except it's already boiling, and sure as hell isn't cooling. The marksdwarves disappeared, eventually the archer with the artifact bow came, spent her quiver ('Are those willow arrows, soldier? Cute, but this isn't a training exercise!') at least took down 4, and stood around uselessly.

Meanwhile panicking idiots who can remember a pretty hatch cover for a month can't remember what made them cancel a job 5 seconds ago, so they were busy doing nothing except jobs which wouldn't complete. Restricting the areas didn't help, because some civilians like to trudge deep into restricted areas before going 'Oh, this is forbidden!' This is the reason I lost a few other civilians, and the reason I couldn't clear the cavern floor quickly enough when the next beast showed up.

Okay, two units deployed topside, the ones that came off duty had been off their training month long enough to scatter their masterwork steel in every direction. So I resealed the hatch no one could pass anyway and sent the boots back downstairs. Two marksdwarves still picking up their gear and one archer standing inexplicably stockfuckingstill weren't going anywhere near that deployment. The beast took out a child and a reasonably good cook before the champions arrived. Yay -- except it's the unit with all the macedwarves, so of course this won't be over quickly. A recruit with two picks in one hand ("akimbo -- you're doing it wrong") helped speed things up, but not before the fisherdwarf it was clutching finally had the life shook out of him.

Hm, only summer and already an eventful year. With a total casualty rate of 6, it's been more fun and bloodshed than this fort's seen in awhile. Hope we're getting used to tragedy...

Someone needs to make a proper high-quality picture of that recruit.
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" It... it's finally over. Oh Armok it was like the end of days in some kind of gristly death bathtub of untold horror and wow that is a nice waterfall."
Embarked on a haunted volcano. I am currently terrorized by skeletal alligators.

MonkeyHead

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7831 on: November 09, 2010, 12:50:41 pm »

Eh, just the presence of these creeps was causing a major traffic jam. The remaining lava blocking the footsoldiers was like a watched pot; except it's already boiling, and sure as hell isn't cooling. The marksdwarves disappeared, eventually the archer with the artifact bow came, spent her quiver ('Are those willow arrows, soldier? Cute, but this isn't a training exercise!') at least took down 4, and stood around uselessly.

Meanwhile panicking idiots who can remember a pretty hatch cover for a month can't remember what made them cancel a job 5 seconds ago, so they were busy doing nothing except jobs which wouldn't complete. Restricting the areas didn't help, because some civilians like to trudge deep into restricted areas before going 'Oh, this is forbidden!' This is the reason I lost a few other civilians, and the reason I couldn't clear the cavern floor quickly enough when the next beast showed up.

Okay, two units deployed topside, the ones that came off duty had been off their training month long enough to scatter their masterwork steel in every direction. So I resealed the hatch no one could pass anyway and sent the boots back downstairs. Two marksdwarves still picking up their gear and one archer standing inexplicably stockfuckingstill weren't going anywhere near that deployment. The beast took out a child and a reasonably good cook before the champions arrived. Yay -- except it's the unit with all the macedwarves, so of course this won't be over quickly. A recruit with two picks in one hand ("akimbo -- you're doing it wrong") helped speed things up, but not before the fisherdwarf it was clutching finally had the life shook out of him.

Hm, only summer and already an eventful year. With a total casualty rate of 6, it's been more fun and bloodshed than this fort's seen in awhile. Hope we're getting used to tragedy...

Someone needs to make a proper high-quality picture of that recruit.

I like to think he held the basdes in his hands, giving a darth maul style double ended pick...
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Lord Shonus

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7832 on: November 09, 2010, 01:06:08 pm »

Ug. My captain of the guard went to go beat a criminal. The criminal had an axe and fought back. I now need a new captain.
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Devstorm

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7833 on: November 09, 2010, 01:18:23 pm »

A titan (H) of water lurked around my fort. It didn't try to get in or to destroy anything, just chased around my fisherman, a hunter, assorted dogs and wardogs, killing them. How does something made of water bite the heads off a dog anyway? I didn't get their personal things forbidden in time so there were a lot of people out there. Finally one of my war elephants tore off after the titan and I haven't heard anything since. Got to love those elephants.

The good news is the mayor was killed in all the uproar.
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Samuel

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7834 on: November 09, 2010, 02:36:56 pm »

The good news is the mayor was killed in all the uproar.

Only in dwarf fortress would the death of your mayor be considered an upside to the murderous rampage of a monster made of water...
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NewSheoth

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7835 on: November 09, 2010, 02:46:02 pm »

Eh, just the presence of these creeps was causing a major traffic jam. The remaining lava blocking the footsoldiers was like a watched pot; except it's already boiling, and sure as hell isn't cooling. The marksdwarves disappeared, eventually the archer with the artifact bow came, spent her quiver ('Are those willow arrows, soldier? Cute, but this isn't a training exercise!') at least took down 4, and stood around uselessly.

Meanwhile panicking idiots who can remember a pretty hatch cover for a month can't remember what made them cancel a job 5 seconds ago, so they were busy doing nothing except jobs which wouldn't complete. Restricting the areas didn't help, because some civilians like to trudge deep into restricted areas before going 'Oh, this is forbidden!' This is the reason I lost a few other civilians, and the reason I couldn't clear the cavern floor quickly enough when the next beast showed up.

Okay, two units deployed topside, the ones that came off duty had been off their training month long enough to scatter their masterwork steel in every direction. So I resealed the hatch no one could pass anyway and sent the boots back downstairs. Two marksdwarves still picking up their gear and one archer standing inexplicably stockfuckingstill weren't going anywhere near that deployment. The beast took out a child and a reasonably good cook before the champions arrived. Yay -- except it's the unit with all the macedwarves, so of course this won't be over quickly. A recruit with two picks in one hand ("akimbo -- you're doing it wrong") helped speed things up, but not before the fisherdwarf it was clutching finally had the life shook out of him.

Hm, only summer and already an eventful year. With a total casualty rate of 6, it's been more fun and bloodshed than this fort's seen in awhile. Hope we're getting used to tragedy...

Someone needs to make a proper high-quality picture of that recruit.

I like to think he held the basdes in his hands, giving a darth maul style double ended pick...

Imagine him approaching the FB wearing a black robe, dropping it, raising one pick and then putting the other in the same hand. And making them glow red.
Logged
" It... it's finally over. Oh Armok it was like the end of days in some kind of gristly death bathtub of untold horror and wow that is a nice waterfall."
Embarked on a haunted volcano. I am currently terrorized by skeletal alligators.

TherosPherae

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7836 on: November 09, 2010, 02:53:09 pm »

Salvefocused has discovered something... unique while breaching the caverns.

We are home to a subterranean clown fortress, complete with cotton candy upright sword. I may send a dwarf to claim it once I get some military set up. Until then, it will just have to suffice to say...
OH THE MIASMA!
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Shurikane

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7837 on: November 09, 2010, 05:21:54 pm »

My first test of the merchant drop corridor was a success.

It also killed my only woodcutter and chief medical dwarf.

...


FOR SCIENCE!  :D
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kilakan

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7838 on: November 09, 2010, 05:26:46 pm »

You know using those stupid 'clown' replacement words don't do shit to spoiler the sentence from new players if YOU DESCRIBE A FUCKING SWORD AND UNDERGROUND FORTRESS!!
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dogstile

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7839 on: November 09, 2010, 05:31:32 pm »

You know using those stupid 'clown' replacement words don't do shit to spoiler the sentence from new players if YOU DESCRIBE A FUCKING SWORD AND UNDERGROUND FORTRESS!!

They would have been less clued in because of the way caverns are if you didn't throw a hissy fit about it.
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Tonic

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7840 on: November 09, 2010, 05:59:20 pm »

Of the seven who embarked, five were killed in the yakkity sax ogre melee, leaving only two dwarves I named Cain and Abel.  Then Cain was eaten by a werewolf.  Now Abel, faint from his wounds, has sealed the entrance.  I will have him engrave his story, then dig for the caverns.  Who knows what the merchants will find, come Autumn?  I can't wait to find out!
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Ipwnurmom221

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7841 on: November 09, 2010, 06:14:14 pm »

Ugh. I ran out of barrels so i couldn't make booze. I was in a salt water area so i had no backup water source. One dwarf that had many friends and a lover died of thirst. Enter TANTRUM SPIRAL.
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Samuel

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7842 on: November 09, 2010, 07:33:59 pm »

Through a complicated series of events, I wound up with a paralyzed dwarf and an Elk Bird sealed away in what used to be a hospital. The intention was to give the Elk Bird the job of ending the paralyzed dwarf's suffering, then having my squad kill it, then have an Elk Bird feast in memory of the euthanised dwarf. What went wrong is that the Elk Bird inexplicably did not attack, even though I've seen them attack my dwarves before. So I let the Elk Bird out, hoping it would no the way out of the fortress. Have you ever seen a fly buzzing against a window, pathetically trying to escape? that's what's happening here. I would send my squad after it, but I had just sent them to kill the human traders. They managed to attack exactly one, and I don't recall his name, but I'm fairly certain it was Bruce Lee. Every single dwarf was incapacitated, but amazingly not killed. So their all laying in the dirt in the new hospital, there's an idiot Elk Bird running about scaring the shit out of everybody, the paralyzed dwarf is lying there stuck in a Harlan Ellison style nightmare, and the human traders are standing around, having killed the troll I'd unleashed on them effortlessly, waiting for me to make their fucking day.

So, all in all, a pretty average Tuesday.
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Yoink

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7843 on: November 09, 2010, 08:06:22 pm »

Migrants! My fort is saved! Of course, the place's main industry right now is murder and body disposal, so that could be a problem.

This sums up so much of my time in this game perfectly!

So, all in all, a pretty average Tuesday.

That is freaking hilarious! :D
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Internet Kraken

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #7844 on: November 09, 2010, 09:48:54 pm »

I want you to picture this; you arrive at the location of an old fort, planning to do trade with the locals currently living it it. However, upon approaching the fortress you find that the entrance is inaccessible. The bridge is retracted giving, you no way to get inside. You call out to someone, hoping to catch the attention of the dwarves inside. But your cry is meet with silence. The only sounds are those of the ocean waves crashing against the shore line, and the deep moans of zombie lesser kraken roaming in the distance.

So it appears your journey has been for nothing, and that you have no choice but to turn back towards the mountainhome from which you came. But before you can leave, one of the other merchants calls you over to the left side of the fortress. A chunk of the wall has been torn off, allowing access to inner area. But the path to the wall is stained with dried blood, and a corpse lies right in front of it. Undaunted, you proceed inside anyways. Upon entering, you are greeted by the site of several skeletons piled up against the wall. Many appear to have been lying there for years, lazily tossed into the corner and forgotten by the residents. The glittering gold pathways of the fort are stained with layers of blood, and many more corpses are strewn throughout the area.

You once again cry out to get the attention of the residents. You hear a noise come from the dinning hall. Eager to do business as quickly as possible, you run towards the door. However, upon opening the door you find only a large number of kobold corpses crushed into the floor. You are then knocked to the ground by a massive zombie whale, and surely would have perished were it not for the swift action of the caravan guards. Still in shock from the attack, you wander around the fort a bit longer before collapsing in a grassy patch near the collapsed wall.

At this point, would you;

a.) Leave, assuming that the fort has been abandoned and that only death awaits you.
OR
b.) Sit there for weeks, waiting for someone to come conduct trade with you.

The Outpost Liaison opted to do the later, even though it is clear that nobody is going to come meet him. There isn't a living soul left in Old Townbrush. New Townbrush lies hundreds of feet beneath the surface, and any knowledge of the outside world is unknown to them. The only reason to stay is sheer stupidity. And if you are wondering why I bothered typing that all up, it's because it is far more interesting than what is going on in New Townbrush. The last year has consisted of nothing but training and brewing. It's pretty easy to keep 4 Dwarves alive inside an isolated area.

One thing I did notice is that the new Outpost Liaison is identified as a Fish Dissector. I'm guessing this is because the old Outpost Liaison is not only still alive, but living inside New Tonwbrush. The poor bastard was locked in the fort over a year ago. I figured he would have gone insane by now, but apparently not. I also noticed that the merchants did not catch the same deadly disease that threatened to destroy Townbrush, so perhaps it is no longer an issue. Though I'm still not risking exposure until I can safely test this with migrants.
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