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[FantasticDorf]

If it is sufficiently high of a drop tower, it shouldn't matter if there are sharp, pointy things for them to land on. They go splat regardless.

The heavier the surface floor, the bigger the splat hence why featherwood (or anything lighter) is practically a crash-pad.

A demon that tripped on stairs (is that still in the game? tripping on stairs?) of its own slade (heaviest material in the game) spire could fatally bust itself up down a short drop.

[Alchemist]

If it is sufficiently high of a drop tower, it shouldn't matter if there are sharp, pointy things for them to land on. They go splat regardless.

It's above ground and I ran out of space to build up unfortunately. I also REALLY like the idea of them landing on sharp pointy bits.

[MehMuffin]

Could it possibly speed up the repetitions of a spiked corridor by linking multiple levers to it, so that it's not limited by one dwarf getting a job assignment and then the next one etc? Or would they break something/is that not even possible?

[☼Another☼]

They'd break.

[StagnantSoul]

Had my entire military destroyed by a single fire imp... And he even got away... Guess it's a horrible idea to fight them on cavern moss. The only survivor was the weaver who was collecting webs nearby, who bludgeoned the imp to death with his fists after a few legendary dwarves were slaughtered charging the imp. Well... The new militia commander will be a weaver.

[Derro]

Combatshield endures.

Surprisingly, I managed to successfully trade with the 'mountainhome' (as far as I can see, an empty forest retreat). Oh, the wicked corpse-camels were there, but never got close enough to attack. I got four logs (apparently the traders thought we desert dwarves would be more interested in bags of sand than wood), some metal cages, lots of food, a nice war hammer, and some armor in exchange for a ton of clothes (turns out there's surprising advantages to losing half a dozen dwarves). I also got a blue peahen, who's been steadily producing eggs since, and a dog, who was subsequently trained for war. Hopefully I'll get some litters soon.

The undead yak head hair and dwarf still in the sealed-off section of my fort were lured into quickly-constructed cage traps. The dwarf has been placed near his own slab for now while the hair was placed behind constructed walls.

Furthermore, five migrants arrived as I was trading, swelling the fortress population to an impressive nine; higher than it's ever been. They brought a baby llama with them, which I obviously couldn't let inside.

The mule from the previous migrant wave died of starvation some time later proceeded to reanimate, and killed the llama. At least its corpse got mangled: I'll only have to deal with one murderous undead herbivore now.

[Alchemist]

Diary of Tulon Ostnish, New Mayor of Edtulon

25th of Hematite, 128

I am the newly elected mayor of the City of Edtulon, Tulon Ostnish. My predecessor, Inod Likotamem, decided not to run again for some strange reason. Lately she'd seemed very stressed out, like something was weighing heavily on her shoulders. I supposed being in charge of various things in the fortress would be worrying, but that stuff usually falls on the Overseer to actually get done while she just banned the export of helms so our forces would be stronger. I didn't think much of it and ran for the hell of it. I didn't expect to run unapposed, and I damn well didn't expect to actually win. Oh well, whatever. I've got a nice bedroom, an office, and a dining room all to myself now. That's more than most of these assholes can speak on.

What does bother me is what Inod told me when she came to visit my office as I was having an engraving of myself put on the walls next to her's. She walked in cautiously, looking over at the engraving on the other side of the doors of goblins suffering. I casually asked why she had that put there, since none of us have ever even really seen goblins before. She muttered that she didn't have it put there and asked how I was getting used to the position. I mentioned I was doing fine, it wasn't all that hard. I hadn't even done anything yet. She nodded a little and just nervously looked around. I asked what was wrong.

"Has... Has Overseer Alchemist spoken to you yet?" Inod asked in a hushed tone.

"No, I haven't even seen him lately. He's always busy these days." I answered.

She stood there for a second, looking around as if watching for boogeymen. Then she spoke, "Whatever you do, be careful around him."

"Why?"

"Something... Something's WRONG with him."

"What do you mean?"

"For awhile now he's been really agitated. Muttering about crashes and goblins, crashes and goblins. He says there's a siege coming, that goblins are coming to murder all of us in bloody, horrible ways, but he's been through it twice, and he knows what to do now. He swears he'll massacre them all."

I sighed, "Sounds like he's drinking too much. Sounds like YOU'VE been drinking too much if you believe him. It's not like he can travel forward and backward in time and magically see some goblins coming."

She shook where she stood. "I... I don't know why I believe him, but he sounds terribly convinced. Just... Just listen to him, humor him. Everything he's been doing has strengthened the fort, I find no reason not to hear him out now...."

"Whatever." I shrugged. Not like I could stop Alchemist if I wanted to. Fucker was crazy and everyone else listened to him.

With that, Inod took her leave, and I looked at my now completed engraving. It was fine. Just me, settling. At that point, another engraver came by. I asked what they needed and they just plopped down by the suffering goblin engraving and started working. I asked what they were making, and they told me an image of Alchemist slaughtering goblins. I mentioned having not requested that, and was told that Alchemist did. I sighed. This was going to be my first headache. I then decided to go see Alchemist.

I remember that awhile ago he joined the military, and went up to see if he was training with Sazir. I did in fact see him up there, decked out in full Steel. By fucking Armok, it was better than Sazir's gear. Some of the soldiers didn't even have armor yet! What did he need steel for?! I was going to walk in but... I felt intimidated.

I couldn't see his face, nor was his training that rough. i just... I felt murder comin' from him. He radiated death. Whatever was going on in his head, it was best not to interrupt him. At that moment, someone came up and informed me we had migrants coming in. Alchemist stopped training and just stared in my direction. It felt like eternity that we stared at each other. I turned to the other dwarf once I could and told him to conscript the useless fuckers into the military and get them training. He nodded and went off. I looked to Alchemist one more time, still staring, and I headed back to my office.

Our overseer is a monster, but I want to see where he goes with this. The moment I think he's a loon I'm going to have him locked somewhere far away, where he can't hurt the fortress. For now he's having the rest of the military outfitted. I'm willing to give him a chance if he's willing to do that.

We'll see where this goes.

~Tulon Ostnish

[Alchemist]

Diary of Tulon Ostnish, Mayor of Edtulon

7th of Limestone, 128

Well fuck me up a tree, they actually came.

The goblin siege that Inod had said Alchemist was so obsessed with actually came, and his forces slaughtered them all. We caught one in a cage trap, which I heard Alchemist bitching about as he headed back into the fortress. One of our Elite Wrestlers is in REALLY bad condition, probably due to a lack of good armor on some of our military. He died shortly after the burrow restriction was lifted. Poor son of a bitch. We also have a mildly injured marksdwarf being taken care of in the hospital.

Aside from that, we lost quite a few animals, but I'm sort of thinking that may have been intentional based on where they were positioned. They were right by the heaviest amount of cage traps. Did Alchemist...

No, never mind. There's not much else to report on. We got more farms up and running despite the fact that we have way more fucking food than we'll ever need. Not sure even why we have that much. We really need more goddamn pig tails but we're beyond out of seeds for those. Gonna see if we can get more the next time the caravan comes around, or maybe just more thread, because we need it. Stupid goddamn weavers are wastes of thread, I'm going to conscript them into a new squad the second I get a chance.

I'm way to stressed out thinking about this. I think I'm going to mandate some dresses be made to pretty up the women around here. That'll make me feel better about this catastrophe. Alchemist seems happy enough now at least.

~Tulon Ostnish

[Alchemist]

Diary of Tulon Ostnish, Mayor of Edtulon

1st of Moonstone, 128

Inod kicked down my fucking door this morning holding this leather helmet high in the air.

"BEHOLD, AKILENKOS MEDTOBOTH!" She screamed like a madwoman.

Akilenkos Medtoboth? I recall that being a wild boar from forever ago. The thing was all over the damn helmet in leather and pig tail.

I lied back down in bed and went back to sleep. We need some mental healthcare in this forsaken fortress.

~Tulon Ostnish

[ReynTheLord]

So my dutchess is also my mayor.

Nice

[Ironfang]

I'v been steadily improving my stock of dogs and working on my soap tower.

I love multitasking.

[Alchemist]

Diary of Tulon Ostnish, Mayor of Edtulon

21st of Limestone, 129

Things have been quiet since my re-election earlier this year. That is, until we got this huge out-of-fucking-nowhere Goblin siege with Trolls and Beak Dogs everywhere. I was with Alchemist at the time of the announcement, and he looked surprised followed by excited and yelled for everyone to get in. He then stationed everyone in the back halls while the idiot forces walked through a field of cage traps. Unfortunately, there needed to be more, which I'll get our mechanic on in due time. We lost five dwarves in the ensuing battle, which isn't bad at all. They were quickly replaced. Now We're figuring out what to do with everything.

Obviously we're butchering and cooking the Beak Dogs. There's some good meat right there. Our other prisoners will be both dropped down the death tower and put in this arena thing Alchemist had built. He's mumbling about saving something before using the death tower. No clue what he's on about.

Meanwhile, I'm going to have our Smelter melt down every piece of goblin dropping there is. Gotta use it all for something, right?

Until next time.

~Tulon Ostnish

[Alchemist]

Diary of Tulon Ostnish, Mayor of Edtulon

1st of Timber, 129

Alchemist gets his own anything he wants from now on, essentially.

See, we were dealing with some Beak Dogs escaping because of idiots not pitting them right, and suddenly, SUDDENLY, a fucking Marsh Titan pop up and attack the Fortress. Without missing a beat, the soldiers headed off to fight, and right at the front of the charge was Alchemist, having freshly named his new shield. He charged forward, cut the wing of the fucker off, and repeatedly stabbed it until it stopped moving. He's covered in the blood of it and heading back to train.

I feel crazy for ever doubting him. I'm promoting him to Captain of the Guard and giving him a nice room, if only because I don't want to be on his fucking bad side at any point. I'll be sure to have his room engraved with some crazy shit about goblins and the Marsh Titan.

Tulon Ostnish

P.S. He just named his sword Libadmuzish Fath Rilem. Sounds pretty metal.

[StagnantSoul]

Draltha are awesome! Caught myself a herd of them, currently having my master animal trainer working with them. The couple who I butchered turned out to give really expensive bones, my bone carvers having a hayday making decent stuff for once.

[StagnantSoul]

Dammit, my fortress must be really attractive... I've got four FB's mulling about in the cavern, one fire breathing ape, one shelled beakless mockingbird with poisonous gas, a microline three eyed aardvark with a thirst for blood, and a sapphire dimetrodon with deadly dust... Each would likely slaughter my currently meager military, and is showing so on the cavern creatures, making short work of blind cave ogres and jabberers.