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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 6222196 times)

PDF urist master

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40305 on: March 13, 2015, 10:44:13 am »

my mechanic is a fucking crybaby. you got a cut on your chest. So what? two dwarves died today. What is your papercut compared to their sacrifice?
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utunnels

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40306 on: March 13, 2015, 11:32:31 am »

New fort.
A woodcutter broke some limbs and other dorfs carried him into the hospital. No splints? No problem, there were tons of logs. But then they reported there was no water source so Urist McWoodsman couldn't leave the hospital.

Urist McWoodsman: I'm dehydrated! I'm starving! I want some beer!
Other dorfs: NO! Patients can't drink beer. We must find you some water.
(some weeks later)
Urist McWoodsman: But I'm fully recovered! I can help my self!
Other dorfs: NO! Patients can't leave hospital until they receive water and food.
Urist McWoodsman: Fine, get me some food.
Other dorfs: NO! Patients must have water first.
Urist McWoodsman: (faint)

Some days later, they finally found a water source 80 z-levels below the ground, and built a well. They brought Urist McWoodsman a bucket of water before they gave him some food. Urist McWoodsman , now fully healed, was finally allowed to leave the hospital.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2015, 11:35:03 am by utunnels »
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Walrusking

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40307 on: March 13, 2015, 11:37:26 am »

Another possessed craftsdwarf. He wants cloth, we don't have any. Ah well, time for military probation for when he inevitably snaps and goes berserk.
Then again, having a dwarf asylum sounds like fun. Berserk dwarves don't kill themselves, right?
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Aristion

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40308 on: March 13, 2015, 12:20:33 pm »

Another possessed craftsdwarf. He wants cloth, we don't have any. Ah well, time for military probation for when he inevitably snaps and goes berserk.
Then again, having a dwarf asylum sounds like fun. Berserk dwarves don't kill themselves, right?

They starve/dehydrate to death though. But this dwarf could take the other 2 insanity routes. One of which will try and commit suicide.
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I kept imagining this guy go "By Armok, not the dead roaches! Oh gods the hamsters oh the dwarfmanity!"
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Naryar

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40309 on: March 13, 2015, 12:28:11 pm »

I've never seen a melancholy dwarf attempt suicide. Yet i have magma moats and stuff.

For me melancholy dwarves are like the stark raving mad ones. With the clothes on.

Button

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40310 on: March 13, 2015, 12:47:45 pm »

I think "attempt suicide" is more a silly way of saying they go wandering. In my experience stark raving mads tend to congregate in the dining hall naked, while melancholies will go wander outside or into the caves.

Of course, I haven't had a dwarf go insane since before the happiness/stress update, so I could be misremembering.
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ShadowDragon8685

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40311 on: March 13, 2015, 01:48:37 pm »

The Liason demanded I make a noble.

So I looked around carefully, and while I considered elevating the most useless peasant in my fortress, instead I decided to elevate my resident fortress Vampire, "Dwarfula." He likes Millstones and coins, so meeting his mandates won't be a particular challenge, and his item preferences can be safely ignored. As a vampire, he's already used to a low-maintenance life of lever-pulling.
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Walrusking

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40312 on: March 13, 2015, 02:00:13 pm »

Another possessed craftsdwarf. He wants cloth, we don't have any. Ah well, time for military probation for when he inevitably snaps and goes berserk.
Then again, having a dwarf asylum sounds like fun. Berserk dwarves don't kill themselves, right?

They starve/dehydrate to death though. But this dwarf could take the other 2 insanity routes. One of which will try and commit suicide.

Darn. Well, there's always nobles.
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NJW2000

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40313 on: March 13, 2015, 02:28:57 pm »

Had 2nd migrant wave. A ranger, not a hunter, so pretty darn cool

Not to mention dreamy.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Anyway, she grabbed a bow and some silver boats and went off hunting. Great, a food supply. So she finds an ibex almost immediately. Then, I take a look at the combat logs. She hits it cleanly, it can't get away.

A little while later, I look back. She is still fighting it, firing bolt after bolt from 3 tiles away across a small depression. Then, I get a hunt cancellation message: no ammo.

I examine the ibex: maimed, invalided, but not killed. 25 silver bolts lost. What a cow. The huntress, not the ibex.

We've been vegetarians so far, so I try to get my dwarves a bit of protein. I decide the ibex would be better off dead anyway, and send a hastily made militia after it. Hunters always are OK dodgers, ambushers, etc, so why not the huntress? I don't want a huntress with no kills embarassing me any more than she already has. Look at her job screen:

Wash self. Of ibex blood. Yes, the blood of the ibex you are about to kill.

I send her out, muttering imprecations - not sexist, just generally blasphemous - she kills a nearby ibex, no troble. A couple of clean blows. So I send her to get the wounded one.

Another page of combat log later, she manages it. Checking through, I notice that the maimed unconscious vomiting dying ibex managed to bite her on the leg. When?
Just after she bit it on the stomach, ignoring her steel war hammer.

Somebody has issues.

Looking through after kicking her off the position, she doesn't seem to have NOTICED the demotion, or the bite. She has no feelings about being in combat or killing

Callous
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Iamblichos

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40314 on: March 13, 2015, 04:49:25 pm »

Something brand new.

A human caravan showed up... and one of the caravan guards immediately went berserk and killed all of them.



WTF?
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I'm new to succession forts in general, yes, but do all forts designed by multiple overseers inevitably degenerate into a body-filled labyrinth of chaos and despair like this? Or is this just a Battlefailed thing?

There isn't much middle ground between killed-by-dragon and never-seen-by-dragon.

TD1

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40315 on: March 13, 2015, 05:16:37 pm »

Quote
Anyway, she grabbed a bow and some silver boats and went off hunting.
It took a while for me to realise you meant "silver bolts," but until I did I had a glorious mental image of a hunting Aragorn-Dwarf sailing the tides, searching for prey in boats from Lothlorien.

Glorious.
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Urist Tilaturist

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40316 on: March 13, 2015, 05:21:29 pm »

Something brand new.

A human caravan showed up... and one of the caravan guards immediately went berserk and killed all of them.



WTF?

He may have taken mephedrone. Nasty stuff, those bath salts.
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azrael4h

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40317 on: March 13, 2015, 06:39:44 pm »

A new day, a new fort. Fate Abbey.

We dig 5 Urists down, and discover a cavern layer! Upon which a giant Toad came in, and ate three of my dwarves. The rest suffered various injuries. :P First time I lost a fort to a Toad.
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StagnantSoul

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40318 on: March 13, 2015, 06:48:04 pm »

As the goblin siege arrived, I released the trapped human and dwarf caravan guards I'd collected. They moved towards the end of the road, like they normally would. The goblins were coming from here. Yes, yes! Everything's going perfe- a dragon? What?!? A dragon can show up during sieges?!? Okay... I can handle thi- why is my commander running around? "Overcome by fear!" What? Why are there zombies in the lower levels? Why is there a pair of necromancers in the cavern!?! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!

To sum it up: my cool trap was ruined by a dragon, my military is tied up fighting surprise zombies, and there's apparently been three necromancers in the cavern. Seriously, how did those three get there?
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NullForceOmega

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #40319 on: March 13, 2015, 06:48:28 pm »

You always lose your forts to a Toad.
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