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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 5965807 times)

Splint

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36630 on: August 19, 2014, 03:20:30 pm »

Finally, after a very rough two months of drinking only cholera-laden pond water (as the only other body of water is the nearby saltwater sea, embarked upon to provide fish later on,) the one crop I ordinarily abstain from has come in: Plump helmets. I never thought I'd be so happy to see those besotted miserable little 'shrooms.

Oh, and a small family that arrived (wife, husband, a few kids, all nearly working age,) is considered part of the nobility's extended family. A baron Consort arrived as the outpost liaison, and he's part of the same little family! Thank god either way. We needed booze desperately.

Dorf and Dumb

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36631 on: August 19, 2014, 03:41:24 pm »

No not its eye, its eye tooth.

So that's why they call it an eye tooth!
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Splint

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36632 on: August 19, 2014, 03:50:08 pm »

Wasn't expecting a mandril attack to ruin trade this year. in thier mad dash to steal weapons and other shiny trinkets, the mandrills trashed both wagons (or more likely, an animal broke free or the merchant abandoned ship on both,) leaving me with a surplus of shit I don't even want and lack the means to melt down quickly.

On the upside, I have discovered that my recent migrants are very brave dorfs indeed, actively pursuing and attacking the straggling monkeys. One who likes bronze has been inducted into the milita and issued a bronze sword with which to defend her family. Once all the hauling is done that is.

pisskop

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36633 on: August 19, 2014, 04:02:11 pm »

I was under the impression that extinct civs didn't send diplomats.  This is a 34.11 save, and I was pretty sure my civ was extinct, but lo, a caravan and a liaison.
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Graknorke

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36634 on: August 19, 2014, 04:04:06 pm »

No not its eye, its eye tooth.

So that's why they call it an eye tooth!
Because they're under your eyes I guess.
I mean so are the lower canines but whatever.
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Azkanan

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36635 on: August 19, 2014, 04:04:27 pm »

What the actual fuck? I just found two of my dwarves doing a "Training Session" in a tree. How did they even get up there??

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Edit;
My god, it's not an isolated case. My entire military are starving themselves in trees.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 19, 2014, 04:06:11 pm by Azkanan »
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flabort

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36636 on: August 19, 2014, 04:18:38 pm »

*snigger*
Your military headquarters must not be located far enough beneath the earth.
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The Cyan Menace

Went away for a while, came back, went away for a while, and back for now.

pisskop

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36637 on: August 19, 2014, 04:20:07 pm »

*snigger*
Your military headquarters must not be located far enough beneath the earth.
Nonsense, they're still dwarves to a hair.  They only figured out that to beat the elves one must train and live like elves.
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drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

Azkanan

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36638 on: August 19, 2014, 04:57:28 pm »

Sterling Silver Equipment. My Captain of the Guard will be happy... Once I find gold, the sterling silver equipment can go to the guards. Gold for the Captain.

« Last Edit: August 19, 2014, 05:01:31 pm by Azkanan »
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Splint

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36639 on: August 19, 2014, 05:10:37 pm »

Sterling Silver Equipment. My Captain of the Guard will be happy... Once I find gold, the sterling silver equipment can go to the guards. Gold for the Captain.



I approve of bling of war.

Graknorke

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36640 on: August 19, 2014, 05:43:14 pm »

They'd best get decorated with gems gem-like studs and ivory and pearls too.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2014, 05:45:19 pm by Graknorke »
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Azkanan

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36641 on: August 19, 2014, 05:44:40 pm »

They'd best get decorated with gems too.

Say, how do you focus that onto certain items? Whenever I've done it, it's been far too universal for any targeted use.
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Graknorke

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36642 on: August 19, 2014, 05:48:15 pm »

They'd best get decorated with gems too.

Say, how do you focus that onto certain items? Whenever I've done it, it's been far too universal for any targeted use.
Carry a lucky tabbit's foot with you, a lucky set of dice, and if possible make a sacrifice to the random number gods.
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da_nang

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36643 on: August 19, 2014, 06:55:01 pm »

Nish, the expedition leader, rose to the position of king in 1051. Distraught with his new-found self-awareness, he quickly threw a fit once he discovered what a hellhole he had been living in for one year.

"No chairs?! No tables?! NO ONE HAS EVEN THOUGHT OF MY TOMB?!" he was said to have shouted when he brutally murdered two dwarves.

"Dude, calm down, we're working on a very important wall and pavement operation and if you don't haul that huge pile of wood then we'll be sitting ducks when the goblins come," the Overseer calmly exposited.

Not that it mattered though. King Nish's bloodlust had already filled him with ecstasy, which overpowered any depressing thoughts. Although the fort now lacked a metalworker and cook, migrants quickly filled the empty shoes. Why they would come here, no one knew but themselves. There were no people-pulling features, the trade caravan spent a whole season in the woods watching a wall get built and the booze was the same old crap as usual. Heck, the Flag of Sacrifice was pretty much dead. Perhaps this fort was the only bright hope left in a world ravaged by goblins and dragons and mostly dragons.

But it was all for naught for poor old King Nish. A mandate had passed the deadline unfinished.

"Three pieces of leather armor. That's all I asked of you good-fer-nothing peasants! How hard can it be?! You even have a designated leatherworker, all the workshops are built and everything!" Nish berated.

"One, there's a siege behind the walls - you're welcome by the way - and two, we don't have any animals to get leather from. So shut your mouth and get back to carpenting and hauling." the Overseer retorted.

Sigh as he might - depressingly as he was heavily prone to depression - poor old King Nish went on to put Miner Alåth's imprisonment on the to-do-but-most-likely-won't-get-finished list along with his residence and tomb. He continuously nagged on about it, though, but was always given a half-ass excuse about the common citizen's needs such as bedrooms and dining hall. Not to mention the extension of the wall defenses.

Months passed by and the bedrooms and dining hall were still not finished.

"Enough with the stalling! Where are my royal quarters and mausoleum!?" - Nish shouted.

"It's carved out beneath the bedrooms," the Overseer stated plainly.

"Carved out? CARVED OUT?! DO YOU EXPECT ME TO LIVE IN SUCH HOLOCAUSTAL CONDITIONS?!"

"I have two stone detailers. They're busy smoothing the bedrooms and dining hall."

"BUSY?! YOU'RE ALWAYS BUSY PREVENTING JUSTICE! YOU'RE ALWAYS BUSY WITH NEVER GIVING ME MY EARNEST DUE!"

"We just finished two of your annoying demands already. Stop being so dramatic."

"I'LL SHOW YOU DRAMATIC!"

And so, battle axe in hand, poor old depressed King Nish chopped his lover in half, punched several others and plunged the fort into a tantrum spiral.

He didn't live long. And I'm ecstatic.
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Splint

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #36644 on: August 19, 2014, 08:03:59 pm »

Some children just impressed me with the depths of bravery they have just because they had thier siblings/friends nearby. Olon Orangelove, one of these brave children, was killed by a mandrill attack unfortunately. All of these kids are extremely brave, and will make fine soldiers when they come of age in the next year or two. One even went so far as to choke a mandrill to death.

THe murdering mandrill was quickly killed by the founding MC with her mace, as it wass herded towards her by the slain child's angered mother/swordsdwarf.

I also desperately want some of these little bastards grown already so I can have on of them shoot some eagles that won't leave the area.
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