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[Schilcote]

Well my fort was actually being harassed by buzzards. They kept stealing food from my exposed stockpile. I was building a wall and roof to keep them out, when a building accident caused my entire fort to plummet into the ocean. In one second all my work was destroyed.

So right now I'm just waiting for my new world to finish generating. The bright side is now I can embark with the octopus pets I modded in.

How did you achieve that?


Apparently, you can ORDER your dwarves to attack, but they won't actually do it. They'll just stand there and watch them. Also, walling merchants in appears to no longer result in insanity. Dammit! And the Human caravan won't take stuff I stole from the Elves. How do they even know it was stolen?

[Internet Kraken]

Well my fort was actually being harassed by buzzards. They kept stealing food from my exposed stockpile. I was building a wall and roof to keep them out, when a building accident caused my entire fort to plummet into the ocean. In one second all my work was destroyed.

So right now I'm just waiting for my new world to finish generating. The bright side is now I can embark with the octopus pets I modded in.

How did you achieve that?

I was replacing the floor tiles that connected my fortress to solid land with grates. I didn't realize that grates can't serve the same purpose of floors as connectors. So when I removed the last floor tile, my entire fort collapsed and was swallowed by the ocean I built it over.

[Retro]

Well... god damn it. I've had a side project going on for a week or two now in which I built a 177x102x20 mold with which I was going to fill with 175x100x20 water, then freeze it, then carve out a majestic ice castle. I finished the massive mold (using 22320 rocks) last night, built the pump stack and turned on the power. Nothing happened.

Oh, what's that, Retro? You forgot that cold temperatures freeze machinery, and since your plans involved embarking on a glacier, you'll never get power? God damn it. There goes two weeks of work, and one hell of a lot of designating. All I need is power, but I'm utterly, utterly screwed.

...Hm. I wonder if dwarf-operated pumps still work when frozen. I could [SPEED:0][NOEXERT] everyone and manually power it... *runs off to DF*

[shoowop]

About a year and a half into a fort. I'm getting pretty tired of the shakiness of the hunter job.  I've got elephants spawning everywhere, so my hunters thinning their numbers is an added bonus to the normal need for meat/leather/ivory and my desire for seeing blood

So I'm watching my hunter as he stalks the latest herd of elephants.. he gets close unnoticed, almost too close. this is going to be good. he unleashes the first bolt and it catches the elephant in the leg. I then watched as he blasted this hellish fury of silver bolts on the elephant, knocking it unconscious and then his hunting dogs caught up and began tear bits of it off. "Alright!" I'm thinking "some profit"

Urist McHunter cancels hunt: No ammunition

WAT. JUST BEAT IT TO DEATH WITH YOUR BOW NO WHERE ARE YOU GOING WHY DO YOU HATE ME

elephant wakes up
..
hunting dog (tame) has been struck down

 


past that, Im still running on the feel good empathy of my last fort which was performing perfectly in every way imagineable until a forgotten beast wasted it, but anyway, sadly my military has decided to act batshit insane.  I've got up to 8 soldiers, unfortunately only 3 of them have realized this fact.  One of them is acting normally, my militia commander (whos nearly suicidial since every month when the schedule moves along he gets "relieved" then is put back on duty instantly, and it's making him miserable for getting relieved so much) has been attending a meeting for over a month, and the third soldier has been watching a striking demonstration.

I'm still not sure who he's watching.

[Hippoman]

Found the message spam problem.
And the rest of the antmen civ.
And a forgotten beast dead body.
I killed em all.
Now Bugbats are being annoying.

[shoowop]

my captain of the guard just gave the militia commander a beating (previous crime from waay back when he had a tantrum and attacked a dog)

the militia commander didn't stop giving a striking demonstration the whole time, despite getting a broken ear and damage all over his body.

[shoowop]

so I guess... the teacher.. became the student.

[Hippoman]

Well Kyra has been getting stabbed at unconcious for about 5 minutes now.
Bleeding heavily.

Her cloak seems to keep her from getting hit. Stupid cave fish. Being so far away. I can't get any help in time.

[Gyvon]

Just had one of my miners Kamikaze a cave crocodile.

Here's how it happened.  I first dug to the first cavern, hoping to use that as my base.  Unfortunately, the whole thing was submerged.  I decided that I could still work with it.  I tapped a muddy pool near the surface for farms, and carved out a nice meeting hall.  Had one of my miners dig a deep well shaft from 2 z-levels below the surface to the first cavern. 

I had it all planned out.  All my channels were lined up perfectly, and I even prepared a nice landing pad that I could easily remove after the shaft was done.  Unfortunately, my landing pad was one square off.  My miner fell 4 z levels right onto a cave crocodile that just happened to be under the shaft.

[opsneakie]

I've started construction on a solid steel pyramid for my incredible militia commander. She has 38 kills or so to date, and is showing no signs of stopping any time soon. It's going to have a 5x5 central area for her steel sarcophagus, and a spiral hallway filled with traps outside. I'll probably toss some gold statues in there too, why not.

This fortress is built on a world with the layers between caverns set to 50 or something, and I have ridiculous amounts of iron and flux. 137 dorfs at the moment, and still growing.

[Hippoman]

I've started construction on a solid steel pyramid for my incredible militia commander. She has 38 kills or so to date, and is showing no signs of stopping any time soon. It's going to have a 5x5 central area for her steel sarcophagus, and a spiral hallway filled with traps outside. I'll probably toss some gold statues in there too, why not.

This fortress is built on a world with the layers between caverns set to 50 or something, and I have ridiculous amounts of iron and flux. 137 dorfs at the moment, and still growing.

That's what I should do for me!
Since I have over 60 kills and not stopping.
Including a forgotten beast.

[opsneakie]

The only downside to the solid steel pyramid is that it does murder your metal stocks, so only undertake it if you have a TON of steel (or whatever metal). Maybe i'll cap it with gold just to save on weapon material. Also, that seems fancier somehow.

[grufti]

Well my fort was actually being harassed by buzzards. They kept stealing food from my exposed stockpile. I was building a wall and roof to keep them out, when a building accident caused my entire fort to plummet into the ocean. In one second all my work was destroyed.

So right now I'm just waiting for my new world to finish generating. The bright side is now I can embark with the octopus pets I modded in.

How did you achieve that?

I was replacing the floor tiles that connected my fortress to solid land with grates. I didn't realize that grates can't serve the same purpose of floors as connectors. So when I removed the last floor tile, my entire fort collapsed and was swallowed by the ocean I built it over.

This is hilarious

The images in my head about a fort vanishing in the ocean, just great! and the face of the dwarf who had just removed the last floor tile.

What a pity I cannot paint anything except stickman 

[silverskull39]

Well my fort was actually being harassed by buzzards. They kept stealing food from my exposed stockpile. I was building a wall and roof to keep them out, when a building accident caused my entire fort to plummet into the ocean. In one second all my work was destroyed.

So right now I'm just waiting for my new world to finish generating. The bright side is now I can embark with the octopus pets I modded in.

How did you achieve that?

I was replacing the floor tiles that connected my fortress to solid land with grates. I didn't realize that grates can't serve the same purpose of floors as connectors. So when I removed the last floor tile, my entire fort collapsed and was swallowed by the ocean I built it over.

This is hilarious

The images in my head about a fort vanishing in the ocean, just great! and the face of the dwarf who had just removed the last floor tile.

What a pity I cannot paint anything except stickman 

It's like a dwarven atlantis!

[Flaede]

my entire fort collapsed and was swallowed by the ocean I built it over.

This is hilarious

The images in my head about a fort vanishing in the ocean, just great! and the face of the dwarf who had just removed the last floor tile.

What a pity I cannot paint anything except stickman 

It's like a dwarven atlantis!

As noted in the Facepalm thread: Hail Atlantis!

(the screen cap is priceless)