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[TheFlame52]

You do realize that your fort is now unkillable, right? You could probably conquer hell with all those crocs.

[FallenAngel]

Probably.
I'm going to hatch MORE.
The primary thing stunting the growth of this fort are all the aquifers.

[Graknorke]

Obviously the ultimate defence is to cover the surface in crocodiles. No invasion will be able to step foot near your fort again.

[Revlakius Javensky]

The saddest person in my fort is a four-month-old who hates slugs.
Apparently, said four-month-old was accosted by them.

Slugs are love, slugs are life.



Back to my fort. Can't cut any trees because an army of Uruk Hai Badger Boars are camping outside my hill. I've gone completely underground before summer.

[Ramaraunt]

I had an amazing fort, with legendary miners, a legendary engraver, plenty of food,etc. A goblin ambush came, and I thought I could handle it with my military. The ambushers then killed off half of my fort, and now all who are left are tantruming/going insane.

My military allways fails for some reason. Can't seem to get it right.

[Ramaraunt]

Just had my second ambush, and the last 20 are almost dead. Among the dead is the bookeeper, his wife the cook, and their baby son that was born in the fort a few months earlier. The fort's manager survived, but he is bedridden and there aren't any left with the skills to help him. The only survivor from the starting seven is a legendary miner that went insane after the first ambush, and now runs around the halls babbling nonsense to himself. The only dwarf that came out of both ambushes unscathed is a ranger from the third migrant wave. Amazingly, he has no injuries and is only slightly unhappy. He probably would have died with the rest of them if the human caravan hadn't come to scare the remaining goblins away. He abandoned the fort after he realized he was the only one left.

I'm pretty determined to figure out how to get a military working. Any suggestions?

[Orange Wizard]

I usually put them in squads of two depending on their existing weapon skills. I make sure they'll spar by changing their schedule to "Train: 2 Minimum" for every month of the year, activate the squad, and assign them a weapon rack in one of my barrackses.
Sometimes they don't do a whole lot due to me not making weapons for them or not assigning uniforms correctly, but most of the time my chosen dwarves will practise until they're legendary weapon-users, and massacre orcs and goblins like it's going out of style.

[Ramaraunt]

I might just try that, or danger rooms.

[Lich180]

New fort, embarked on a cave that juts up from a flat area. Hollowed out the levels of the cave that are above ground for a basic needs fort while everything else gets set up for the big developments.

Threw a hatch cover over the ramp down into the depths and forgot to lock it. A troglodyte came up into my farms and accosted one of my few planters, only for the would-be victim to kick the trog in the head and snap its neck. The trog then tried to push my enraged planter to death as it suffocated.

[Larix]

Goddammit, that was a chore, but it seems like i finally got the adder going right. Switched materials from metal to wood/adamantine, which gives better differences, but getting speeds properly regulated so "1+1 no carry" wouldn't _always_ output 11 was infuriating.

It was not at all helped by the following issues:
1. Carts behave slightly differently, depending on whether they were placed by hand or by rolling/dropping into place. No, i'm not hallucinating, that's a real factor in minecart behaviour.
2. Seemingly meaningless paths engraved on ramps can have the weirdest effects: a cart going over ramp engraved with EWS track, lower end to the south, behaved consistently differently from one going over the same ramp changed to NEWS track.
3. Diagonal movement and how to get rid of it. Yeah, corner track helps, but it can only do so much.
4. Bouncing frontally into an unaligned impulse ramp _tends_ to remove all speed. Except when it doesn't. Yay.

[indyofcomo]

I think I'm still a beginning DF'er. I am on my 6th attempt, some of which I put aside pretty darn quickly. In only one game have I even gotten to the point where I was forging metal. (That was #5.)

I put down DF for quite a while after #5, so rather than continue my as-yet most successful fortress I decided to start again. I decided to do something different(for me so far) even though I'm no expert, and I picked an embark location with ocean in my 3x3. I had to make sure I had a fresh water source as well, knowing the difficulties with salt water. The embark area is temperate marsh and broadleaf forest. (I think, this is based on checking fauna & flora cause I didn't think to note it down when I started.) It must be a very warm temperate because I never see snow nor freezing.

Anyways, I think I'm on my 3rd year now. Last night I got double-sieged by goblins, right by where a lot of citizens were hauling stone & gem out of a separate exploration mine system. (I'm having trouble finding the two ores for coal.) I think I lost 5 of my dwarves in that attack, which started some tantrums and made a lot of miserables. So as I'm setting up my happiness-triaging (alcohol, burials, and rest as suggested on wiki), I get sieged again. I lost a few more to that. The tantrum spiral is getting close. One of my soldiers went berserk, so I put him down, careful not to use his wife's squad to do it.

I'm only now learning that un-pastured animals won't graze. I probably read that somewhere but didn't remember it, being a ranch-boy myself and knowing animals will eat anywhere. Lost someone's baby horse foal in the dining room/meeting area.

Hopefully the mood will get better around the fortress, a lot of useless pets will get slaughtered(owners now being dead), and I'll find some coal-sources.

[FallenAngel]

Strangely, my fort, despite being 110+ strong, has no mayor. Or anything besides Expedition Leader.
Maybe that'll change when we become a barony.
EDIT: Yes, it did. I never noticed that happen before, though.

[Aristion]

A troglodyte came up into my farms and accosted one of my few planters, only for the would-be victim to kick the trog in the head and snap its neck. The trog then tried to push my enraged planter to death as it suffocated.

One of my dwarfs has a broken neck. Hasn't died yet and its been a few seasons. Got a broken neck after his wife tantrumed after she saw someone get bitten in half and began to hit him as he slept.

[Mr.Mountain]

Fairly new DF'er, on one of my most successful forts. It's midwinter and we've experienced a slight kobold thief infestation. Three appeared in one day. Nothing we can't handle, though, seeing as this is the same military that SOMEHOW took down a noxious gas spitting FB with nothing but iron weapons and their fists, sustaining no casualties. Then again, this is the same military that can't kill Keas is their lives depended on it.

[Mr.Mountain]

Then again, this is the same military that can't kill Keas is their lives depended on it.

It's actually pretty bad. The last time I had my military handle the nuisance, they only managed to shoot one to the ground. The militia captain spent a whole day grabbing one by the leg and letting it mangle her. She was miserable by the end of the experience, but became quite happy again after observing my fine golden statues and legendary dining room. I guess losing her daughter to undead skeletons really made her distant to this stuff (oh and to the fisherman necromancer in my fort, I am REAL CLOSE to finding you out, bastard!). Oh well, another day without a tantrum! 

P.S., I may be a little new to DF, but I've gotten a pretty strong grip on how to handle the military, so feel free to swing a question by.