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[Lielac]

I don't think it's that I'm sweet; you're just wonderfully and quotably insane. Anyway, I want to be an animal tamer or something so I can maybe help on the dragon project. I don't care about the rest. I also can't wait to get involved in some incest.

Heh. Unfortunately, Laborfords is not the dragon project fort; it's the dragon incident fort. Y'know, the reason I absolutely detest kobolds.

There's a Kulet Utteredinks who's an animal trainer. He's got 32 siblings and 4 kids.

[MrWillsauce]

Oh right. I didn't realize you went back. Then make me that guy anyway.

[Lielac]

Oh right. I didn't realize you went back. Then make me that guy anyway.

Spoiler: Done! (click to show/hide)

I'll keep you in mind for Pricetrades when I get sick of Laborfords' FPS. For now you get to train whatever shit shambles out of the second cavern and into my cage traps.

City Laborfords, 10th Hematite 237; 177 beards, 61 artifacts

Spoiler: Well, at least it's not something made of wood. (click to show/hide)

boooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

Edit, 1st Sandstone: Okay, we're up to 62 artifacts and this overseer is officially ↓. The pig tail fiber trousers worth 54720☼ are going in yet another display case, and I'm going to crash. G'night!

[the1337doofus]

The drowning chamber has had it's first conviction! Obok Angelmeats, Disguised vampire, was discovered to be a vamp on the 21st of granite. He was sentenced to death on the 22 of granite. His corpse was splattered on the ground the next day. Weee, vampire bone crafts!

[Echostatic]

I got bored of having very few sieges, no river to play with, and almost no surface animals, so I took my military force of about 18, recruited 20 more and gave them random weapons, and sent them deep into the earth, positioned in a smallish room. Then, the adamantine was breached.

Many creatures made of salt, snow, steam, ash and fire poured forth. A beast made of steam was quickly dispatched, when one made of ash easily destroyed an inexperienced recruit's brain. The more experienced dwarves were able to put it down, when they were swarmed. Hammers swung, axes slashed, spears stabbed. one by one the unnatural abominations fell, over a dozen, when the king was bested by a towering blob of salt. it broke his spine and sent him flying.

15 abominations ended, 2 dwarves dead.

One of my spearmen is injured and falls unconscious. The fell beasts deliver many blows to the head, but her adamantine helm is keeping her alive for now. Or, it was until she bled out. The king suffocates, more death occurs.

24 abominations ended, 6 dwarves dead.

The room is full of fire, smoke, steam, blood and vomit. Many dwarves lose their resolve and try to flee. Many more are struck down.

27 abominations ended, lost count of dead dwarves.

The taint released from the pits quickly affects the fortress. A child in the dining room goes berserk and is quickly torn apart by animals. Another abomination is ended, but the troops have lost hope and ran. More dwarves succumb to madness as child after child begins tearing into everyone in reach. The abominations burst into the fortress proper, and the slaughter is immense. Dwarves fall by the dozens, though they surprisingly manage to kill a few more of the elemental monsters. Finally, two dwarves remain. The newly elected mayor, who decided this crisis would be a good time to seize the position, and an animal caretaker who decided a nap was in order. Both are behind closed doors, but it is only a matter of time... Ah, yes, the caretaker was just kicked to death. That just leaves the mayor, who refuses to leave the office. Oh, good, she left and bumped into an enormous winged scaly earthworm with deadly blood. A swarm of monsters join in to pummel her into sweet, sweet release. About 37 monsters saw their end, after all was said and done. Of course, the rest now have the world as their playground...

The End

[SixOfSpades]

For the past few days, I've been playing FANTASY Dwarf Fortress. That's where I tally up the scores and abilities of every dwarf in the castle, and segregate them into 5 equal groups, with the goal of finding the arrangement that gives each 5th of the population optimal functionality as a completely separate, independent fort all on its own. My current "Dwarf Fortress" game is actually a couple of Notepad windows, all covered with numbers.

Did you have to split up any families?

Also, you must be a maniac. I'd go crazy trying to keep track of all the burrows and supply lines.

No, all 8 families were kept intact, except for the duke's, who will send out 2 of his (currently) 14 kids to each of the outer wards, to make it almost impossible to exterminate his bloodline. Of course, I cant do that just yet, because my duke's family will be the only kids left in the central keep--meaning all of their potential spouses will be living on the outskirts. So either I have a "Love Nest" room where I rub all the young adults together until they marry (and probably move out of town), or I'll go ahead & segregate the families now, but every year have a fancy ball where all the eligible young ladies try to catch the eye of the Prince. Is clear glass a viable material for making shoes?

And surprisingly, I don't have any burrows at all, although I will once I split everybody up: The walls & bridges will do a great job of separating the wards, but I want the broker & a few haulers to be able to go from place to place, so I'd rather not seal them apart completely . . . so burrows will be best to make sure that the general populations don't mix, and to ensure that nobody makes many Friends in another disctrict.

[Sutremaine]

That is most definitely an aunt/nephew marriage. FASCINATING.

I was pretty sure I'd found one of those in worldgen (and also that a fortress can be rebuilt with no migrants and two married couples), but the game doesn't display 'aunt/wife' as a relationship. Nice to see they can definitely happen.

Currently I'm trying to keep the Fashablel name alive. I already shoved the name onto the original dwarf's uncle (on account of her husband and only child both being dead), but most of his fortress-dwelling family are dead too. The only dwarf capable of handing down the name is a 17 year old with no-one to marry, because the only unattached female in his age range is 7. Her birthday is in Slate and his is in Hematite, so she's just within the ten-year limit.

Originally I was going to decide names by picking the first dwarf in the unit list (which is how the family names were set), but matrilineal naming is so much easier for dealing with babies as they pop out.

[iceball3]

Oops. I was renovating the outer wall when suddenly a siege hits for the FOURTH year in a row now.
As it stood, we had a gaping hole in our defenses which was immediately rushed through by enemy forces, so i had assigned my entire militia to the inner courtyard.
Let's just say that everybody being just "Competent" was nowhere near good enough, as such a squad of trolls managed to break deeper into the fortress and a LOT of losses were had, mainly militia side. I began to panic after our militia commander died. and assigned myself dwarfed to replace him (me being a Legendary Miner named "Yona Iche" who was a starting dwarf who'm i assigned Proficient Dodger using point buy). I then sent myself with my iron pick in my equipment out into the clusterfack that was going on in the courtyard, and she rushed out using no armor or shield, just her clothes and pick. Wasn't really looking too well, until i realised that being Legendary in weapons skill means she had a HUGE parry bonus, and would do the likes of batting projectiles and melee attacks out of the air constantly as well as dodging the difference. In fact, I was hit so rarely after storming directly into a crowd of axemen alone, that my armor user skill barely removed any rust at all (not that it would've helped, plain clothes all around because a lack of time to equip).
Managed to force back or kill all of the siege at this current state, and i can't help feel super proud that a character i named after myself can take on an archery ambush without dying.

[MrWillsauce]

You should form a whole army of legendary miners and be unstoppable.

[ImagoDeo]

Just experienced (and savescummed) my first fully-fledged tantrum spiral. Of all time.

Carnagemines, the city of vampires, went nuts when I appointed a captain of the guard to deal with three decades of unwrought justice without bothering to designate jail cells first. The initial three deaths didn't seem that bad until I remembered that every dwarf in the fortress has spent all the time that they WOULD have spent sleeping and/or eating instead socializing for the past ten years.

Lists of friends five times as long as the lists of relationships. It got messy quickly. Near the end, before I decided to pull the plug, I had five or six berserkers, over a hundred miserable dwarves, many tantrums, dozens of fistfights, nowhere near enough coffins, and one extremely bewildered and pitiful captain of the guard who doubtless realized it was all his fault for 'downgrading' every sentence from jail time to a beating. Congratulations, L3! You destroyed the fortress. How does that make you feel? [/psychiatrist]

So I feel like a dick now for savescumming my first epic tantrum spiral, but I just didn't want to lose Carnagemines, especially since it would take several months or years for the spiral to take its full effect and I didn't want to bother building back up from nothing. I could have isolated one or two survivors. Had some pretty stable military dwarves on hand. But it wasn't worth it. Nice to know I can make the place live up to its name at a moment's notice, though.

[Lielac]

Just experienced (and savescummed) my first fully-fledged tantrum spiral. Of all time.

Carnagemines, the city of vampires, went nuts when I appointed a captain of the guard to deal with three decades of unwrought justice without bothering to designate jail cells first. The initial three deaths didn't seem that bad until I remembered that every dwarf in the fortress has spent all the time that they WOULD have spent sleeping and/or eating instead socializing for the past ten years.

Lists of friends five times as long as the lists of relationships. It got messy quickly. Near the end, before I decided to pull the plug, I had five or six berserkers, over a hundred miserable dwarves, many tantrums, dozens of fistfights, nowhere near enough coffins, and one extremely bewildered and pitiful captain of the guard who doubtless realized it was all his fault for 'downgrading' every sentence from jail time to a beating. Congratulations, L3! You destroyed the fortress. How does that make you feel? [/psychiatrist]

So I feel like a dick now for savescumming my first epic tantrum spiral, but I just didn't want to lose Carnagemines, especially since it would take several months or years for the spiral to take its full effect and I didn't want to bother building back up from nothing. I could have isolated one or two survivors. Had some pretty stable military dwarves on hand. But it wasn't worth it. Nice to know I can make the place live up to its name at a moment's notice, though.

Haaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha. There's a decent chance I could turn Laborfords into a tantrum spiral if somebody died. Most people are ecstatic and I'm pretty sure it's because they've been socializing forever. Definitely the kids have nothing better to do.

City Laborfords, Mid-Autumn 237; 177 184 beards

I finally got around to draining the HFDP properly. The floodgate jammed so I had to channel around it from above so the magma would pour out properly. Still, now it's draining into the magma pipe quite tidily. Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!

... And then I'll have to figure out how to get rid of that crust of obsidian from my failed attempt at obsidianizing the magma. Without killing any of my miners or anybody else.

Edit, Mid-Winter: Success! Zero injuries! Although I could have murdered a dwarf by coercing them into dropping onto a 1/7 splot of magma that hadn't quite dried yet. I don't like to deliberately induce tantrum spirals, though.

Also, 7 births. Boo.

[Evilsx]

Feel like join in with the fun in this thread by writing about my fortress right now (After reading some of Lielac posts)

Berkilrud,62
43 Bastards...
Migrants have just came into my fortress, good news for my newly made pack of madman military and feel good for passing an year for my first time, bad news is the fortress is low on food/drinks and more of this dwarfs want to drink/party and not FARM to get us FOOD/DRINKS.
Since I am using masterwork mod, I am putting the new mason to the stone-block making duty while my old dwarf makes stone beds and such for the new bed rooms, and this guy seem to keep making masterwork items such as beds and chairs, no pictures though...
Hoping to set up hunting for the asshole wildlife that keeps coming around and get food from them.

[Lielac]

Feel like join in with the fun in this thread by writing about my fortress right now (After reading some of Lielac posts)

I feel honored.

City Laborfords, Spring 238; 184 beards, 63 artifacts

I'm now up to three full pages of artifacts. The latest is an obsidian statue named "The Contingencies of Chilling", worth 52200☼:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And I'm finally getting around to training up armor and weaponsmiths for making and outfitting a military in this fort. Fweeeeeeeee!

[Lolfail0009]

184 beards, 63 artifacts

Please, do not stop Laborfords until those numbers are equal.

[Lielac]

184 beards, 63 artifacts

Please, do not stop Laborfords until those numbers are equal.

I just might do that.

Dwarf Therapist only registers 54 dorfs who've already had moods, so 9 of the dead dwarves in my spreadsheet created artifacts before they died. Hokay, time to check the slabs.

1. Sarvesh Listenedhatchets, killed by a vehicle, creator of The Wonder of Vales... Aha. The bituminous coal quern.
Aban Bothonkubuk, struck down... right, that's Murkylances, the one who went berserk after I forgot she was in a strange mood.
Uzol Utteredinks... died of thirst, but there's a "creator of" here... yeah no, failed mood.
2. Rigoth Shipdawned! Died peacefully, creator of Shriveledboard... a pig tail fiber chausse. What's a chausse?
3. Tekkud Holeportals I, minecart accident, creator of Baldedshoved the Creature of Aces... a magnetite crown. Thank Armok for display cases.
Kogsak Holeportals, died of thirst, "creator of"... failed mood.
4. Mebzuth Hatchetwebs, "went missing" (shot by gobbos + slabbed before his body was found), creator of Failedsyrup the Rivers of Haunting... a siltstone coffer.
Cilob Paddlemirror, died of thirst, creator of... failed mood.
5. Bembul Abyssink I, slain by a cougar, creator of Lureblazed the Air of Tulips... a pig bone weapon rack.
6. Eral Whiptruths, slain by that same cougar, creator of Achingmist... a cave spider silk headscarf.
7. As Busttemples, died peacefully, creator of The Fancy Cerulean Shrine... a cave spider silk short skirt.

... I'm two short. Hmmm. 

.. Oh, right, I don't think I've engraved slabs for *everybody*.

8. Zaneg Paddlechained, died peacefully, creator of Deepsoared, a cave spider silk long skirt.