I survived another (third? fourth? I've lost count by this point) goblin siege, although this one included an “amphibious” assault as a squad of goblins riding cave crocodiles crossed the river to the North of my fort, while two battalions of trolls (comprised of troll cooks, pump operators, carpenters, animal trainers, and a soap maker for some reason) approached from the South and East, and a group of goblin lashers attacked from the West. A caravan of dwarven merchants was visiting my trade depot at the time, and they were slaughtered by the two dozen goblins and fifteen or so trolls once I raised my drawbridge and wished them good luck.
I lost seven soldiers in the ensuing battle - most of them were marksdwarves who had a fundamental misunderstanding of their place in the universe, as their first instinct upon seeing the enemy was to charge into melee combat, swinging their crossbows like drunken lacrosse players. Also among the dead was a partially deaf swordsdwarf. It is hitherto unknown whether or not the lack of a left ear (lost in a previous siege) contributed to his unfortunate demise.
During the siege, a Forgotten Beast appeared in the caverns below my fortress - a colossal, insect-like creature composed of petrified sewage (!), and he was out for blood. I raised the underground drawbridge to seal off my fort from the caverns to focus on the surface invaders, but little did I know that a lone speardwarf was deep within the caverns and was unable to make it back inside in time, and he was now trapped with the deadly monster.
During the ten-day long siege, the speardwarf got himself stuck in the pit underneath the underground drawbridge and unintentionally hid from the beast. When the goblin invaders were defeated, I tried to lower the bridge to send in reinforcements, but the rest of the 200+ dwarves were too busy scavenging the battlefield to pull the corresponding lever. It was at this point that the speardwarf found his way out of the pit, and upon seeing the monstrosity, immediately charged into battle. It should be noted that he was a member of my ill-equipped and poorly-trained secondary melee squad, armed with an ordinary iron spear, an iron breastplate, and nigh-useless wooden gauntlets that I bought from an elf caravan. I promptly ordered another coffin from my stonemason.
To my surprise, however, the guy was a total badass. Because not only did he face the beast alone (essentially communicating the dwarven equivalent of “Come at me, bro!”), but he killed the thing in an epic one-on-one battle that lasted no less than two straight days, dodging and parrying its attacks and chipping away at it until it was nothing more than an amorphous blob of perforated sludge, producing over ten full pages of combat logs that include reports of him fracturing its left wing by BITING it. He walked away with only a small bruise on his leg.
The most impressive part of the story, however, is that he did all of that while wearing a dress. It was like the Moria fight in The Lord of the Rings, except instead of a Balrog fighting a wizard, it was a sewage monster fighting an intoxicated dwarven transvestite.
Best. Game. Ever.
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Topic: What's going on in your fort? (Read 6096381 times)