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[Larix]

The basic 'minecart curtain' looks promising: Roller - Ramp - Wall, power the roller and the minecart will bounce back and forth in a fourteen-tick cycle (at highest roller speed), smashing into any creature that decides to walk across the track. The ramp and roller also appear to guarantee (or close to it) that the cart will keep moving regardless of collisions. Put three of these in a row and nothing should be able to pass without getting hit. Of course you're restricted to a two-wide corridor and you'd better have an off switch installed.

Building destroyers will presumably demolish the rollers and disarm the array.

I found it necessary to test the concept and resorted to animal testing. The second test just confirmed what i already knew - that a dog will be brained quite effectively by a bouncing wooden minecart. The first test used the old mainstay of animal testing, the guinea pig or cavy. The test was inconclusive, because these adorable little critters benefit from a kind of bug that makes very small animals ridiculously difficult to hurt - minecart hits on legs and the head 'glanced off'; presumably the game can't emulate a brain inside the tiny skull and thus pretends we're dealing with a solid ball of bone. After the little fellow had taken fourteen pages worth of hits, i ordered the lever pulled and him returned to his pasture. He suffered four broken toes and got his incisors broken off but appears healthy and looking forward to a reasonably happy further life.

I guess i'll have to see how it works on goblins and kobolds. It looks like a promising alternative to repeating spikes with their substantial delay.

[t-lor]

Wel i accendently flooded 2 zlvls of sleeping accomadations while trying to make a giant indoor swimming pool.
atleast now we have an intresting location for if i ever invent the scuba gear

Besides that  theres a disturbing lack of things happening as the fps has dwindled down to the low 50's
And even worse, this fortress is in its 6th year, it got 120 dwarves millions of wealth, and a merchants standing in que to unload their goods.  but the only intresting people where a couple of cobolt and ice-giant thieves.  Ive dug out my most genius trap ever, but no siege, no invaders from the fortress defence mod i had installed.  not even a small ambush.

Im going to start a fight with the elves out of pure boredom shortly.  !

Any chance thell come later, or have i really embarked in a pacifistic world

[Knick]

Tundra titan showed up.  It was composed of water, and shot webs.  I sent a squad after it.  It webbed the first hammerdwarf, who promptly extracted himself and hit the titan once.  The titan exploded into watery bodyparts and webs.

It's pretty quiet, otherwise, except for regular scuffles with troglodytes, elk birds, and rutherers.

That Olmwoman/werelizard is still hanging about in my water pipes.

[callisto8413]

I found out that caravans are more useful than I thought.

You see, I has having two problems. 

The first was I felt my depot was not well enough protected.  Two out of three sieges happened when I had a caravan in the depot and many more thieves have been showing up.  So I moved it nearer to my fortress entry and right in among my pastures.

The second was, while I never have enough trees, I have tons of predators. The dingos were wiped out and so were many of the wolves, foxes, and eagles.  And they make good eating.  But the kea keep coming back.  I kill six and six show up next year.  Not only did they steal some food but they attack my chickens, my larger livestock, and even killed a cute little baby bunny!

I tried stationing my military in the pastures but only a few kea were killed by this tactic - most just attacked animals on the edges.  One or two kea did get killed by my stone traps at my gate - which does not make much sense as they fly...
Anyway, I didn't want my Dwarfs just standing around and decided to replace them.

So I posted some wolves (I got from one of the caravans) in among the chickens and rabbits.  It worked - kind of - now the kea started attacking Dwarfs working outside.  So I put another wolf near the outside workshops to protect the whiners.  "Ouch!  A small bird is attacking me!"

I understand if they were Rocs but keas...tsk.

The kea found a weakness in my defense, a hole without wolves, and flew in to get the chickens.   But ran right into the human caravan who was visiting my new depot.  In less time it takes to type this posting three keas were wiped out by human bowmen. 

So humans turn out to be useful after all.   

Oh, I also have a windmill sending power to two millstones, two underground greenhouses growing above ground plants, created a bathhouse with a pump, have an outdoor barrack and archery range with a glass blocks in the ceiling so the main unit gets use to sunlight, have a outside bathhouse with some of the wall missing to let in sun, failed to get a waterwheel to work, flooded a room in my fortress for failing to understand water pressure, and I am making a multi-level Grand Hall which already has a working sunroof, and am in the process to creating a below ground area for beekeeping, but that's not as interesting as my war against NATURE!   

I will get you, you small winged pests!  And your little dog too!
...
Hey..that gave me an idea...are there flying monkeys I can train?

[11sparky11]

This guy came:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So I was like oh noes, because I had no military yet. He seemed to understand this and left immediately.

[matskuman5]

Once, when I tried to improve the staircase system in the towers
where nobles live, my bookkeeper got trapped.

I built a staircase next to the tower, breached the wall, and found his rotten corpse on a table.

The really funny thing is, a dwarf walked up the staircase, got inside the tower sat on a chair, and started eating a mushroom from the table the rotten corpse layed.

I love this game.

[AWdeV]

Fort was getting boring and sloooooooow. I was looking for a way to have it die.

Then a bronze colossus showed up. First one I ever had. The earlier giant was a complete nothing, maybe this one would be more amusing.
I fired my ballistae and catapult. As usual, they missed. Atez Zikelcog the Colossus came at a steady pace.
He walked into a weapon trap, fell into a puddle. More damaged than I had expected, less damaged than I'd feared.
I figured hey, maybe this guy can topple the fort! But I couldn't exactly just let him do so unopposed so I sent in the milita anyway.

Holy hell, this guy was lame. I was expecting him to kick armoured dwarves left and right. To pick them up and throw them away. To squish them beneath his sandalled feet.

Instead, he pushed. He pushed a trained giant tick. Golly gee, wow, you managed to bruise a giant tick. Well done.

Most my dwarves couldn't do any damage but the baron with steel shortsword fractured parts left and right and lopped off some bits as well. It was taking very long though (arms and several toes cut off, but he kept "fighting" so I figured maybe my miner-militia would've been able to speed things up.

LOLNO GAME STOPPED RESPONDING. After which Skype stopped responding, firefox stopped responding and basically my entire laptop stopped responding.

I guess the bastard brought down my fort anyway as I'm just going to delete the damn thing now.

Maybe I can make some interesting tweaks in the RAWS. More war animals for one. I had a flock of GIANT RAVENS but they were all too chicken to do anything even though a similarily non-war tick was a lot more aggressive. Maybe I should give bears and elephants [CAN LEARN].

This guy came:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So I was like oh noes, because I had no military yet. He seemed to understand this and left immediately.

Lazy sod probably noticed you had no bamboo and left.

[ZzarkLinux]

The Minotaur Gabe Strulatra has come! The Minotaur has spawned next to a goblin seige! The Minotaur is fighting! The Minotaur has been struck down.

[Urist McKoga]

Because i see this in wiki

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Adequate swimmers do not panic and start drowning in that situation, even when attacked, so training to this level is highly recommended. Higher levels only increase the speed when swimming, with a legendary swimmer being faster than he would be while running.

Now i want a squad of legendary swimmers!

[sculleywr]

Dear Queen Kadol Dorentabmik;

It is with great joy that I report the bustling growth of the fortress outpost of Bluntimmoralities. The population of this now famous outpost has grown to 89 strong and hearty dwarves, and the great works of trade, which include the most expensive works of stonecrafting known to our civilization. The military has been outfitted with artifact armors, designed by their many learned metal-workers.

Though there is no adamantium found here, to date, the combined works of this fort have grown to almost 730,000* One of three forges is dedicated to making use of the massive supply of tin, pumping out crafts, as furnace is dedicated to smelting the cassiterite, and another smelter is dedicated to making bronze. This is used primarily for crafts, however, as their trades with other civilizations have opened up access to mithril, bloodsteel, and other valuable metals, which we have pumped out weaponry and armor for our two fully armed squads.

On the aspect of military, they have suffered only one casualty, a green recruit who forgot to wear greaves when going into battle. he managed to take down two goblin bowmen, before bleeding out from multiple shots to the groin. The worst damage the other mighty officers of our military have received is a minor cut, which was quickly sewed up by our legendary doctors. We have four legendary soldiers, including myself. I have now become known for my slaying of two rocs, as well as several goblins and kobolds, and my sword has even been dubbed Satthazor, or "Strokediscovered".

The advisors who doubted the wisdom of embarking an outpost so close to the ocean have been proven wrong, as the ocean has even proven to be a valuable protection from invasion. The single entrance to our fort has only two approaches, from the North or the south. there are enough cage traps around it to capture 80 goblins at once, while still allowing a single path for the caravans to come in.

We hope to hear from you soon, as the wealth of this fortress I have been honored to run as Mayor increases.

Sincerely,
Urist Sprungferries, the Unionized Palm


(Note: all this is based on the fort I am running now, which is a Masterwork fortress)

[ZzarkLinux]

I just learned that you cannot build a wall on a ghost. Get out of my way you dumb ghost.

[Mungrul]

Started a new fort recently to play in between GW2 sessions and to re-familiarise myself with DF.
First migration wave, 6 dwarves.
Second, 10.
Then I had a migration tsunami. SEVENTY TWO DWARVES, over half of which were children.
We are not amused.

[MuseOD]

I just caught 30 cave crocodiles because I prepared a 10z-level drop and cage traps for a seige. THIRTY. CAVE. CROCODILES. Several females, mostly male. This will be astoundingly excellent.

[Loud Whispers]

TL;DR: Your fortress is a madhouse full of typical, bloodyfulfilling dwarven history worthy of a hundred songs, that will never be sung, because everyone in that fort is probably screwed in some way.

I suppose that's a good thing. Thanks! Late night brain is a mysterious machine.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A monument to the baconing has been constructed.
It is glorious.

It's called Neshastiger Oburamnek 'Riskrivers the Heroic Tribute.'

[Splint]

"The Baconing" sounds like the Armageddon of a race of pig-men.