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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 6197512 times)

Reudh

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29160 on: May 14, 2013, 08:52:09 pm »

Shook spotted a witch saboteur on the outskirts of the fort, and chased after it faster than I'd seen any dwarf move without the cheaty cheat DFhack. He didn't catch up though. On her way, the witch blasted the expedition leader Soshoth with a dark spell that made him temporarily stop and vomit blood, as well as fever and dizziness.

Three dwarves died in a cave in and a fourth was knocked unconscious after removing a wall that I'd told them to remove from the other side. Thankfully no named dwarf died.

One of Shook's squaddies threw another one over his back during sparring, breaking his wrist.
The dwarf is now named BrokenUWrist.

Dutchling and Haspen are still engraving everyone's rooms, and DrPoo hasn't quite gotten around to operating on BrokenUWrist yet. Of course, Soshoth was seen nearly instantly.

GuesssWho

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29161 on: May 14, 2013, 09:00:26 pm »

I have five miners and a CMD left, one of whom is meloncholy, so I've said the fuck with it, made them all recruits, and now I am watching them chase a unicorn around and giggling because why not. Thus falls Circledirons.

Fakeedit: A report of a recruit punching a baby to death was updated while I was writing this. I'm not sure why he did it, where the baby came from, when this happened or why the report was updated now.

Realedit: A cat and a piglet have joined the chase.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2013, 09:02:13 pm by GuesssWho »
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I have no clue what I am doing here.


I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Magistrum

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29162 on: May 14, 2013, 09:06:50 pm »

Fakeedit: A report of a recruit punching a baby to death was updated while I was writing this. I'm not sure why he did it, where the baby came from, when this happened or why the report was updated now.
Don't mind, only one thing reproduce more than cats: Dwarves!
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In a time before time, I had a name.

Eric Blank

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29163 on: May 14, 2013, 09:13:37 pm »

There's a vampire somewhere in Lornicat now.  Who it is, I have no idea, but it got my weaver...

God damnit, I read that in Ed's voice...
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

GuesssWho

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29164 on: May 14, 2013, 09:16:19 pm »

It appears that they're probably going to starve to death: every time one tried to go get food the unicorn interrupts them.
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I have no clue what I am doing here.


I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Magistrum

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29165 on: May 14, 2013, 09:23:29 pm »

It appears that they're probably going to starve to death: every time one tried to go get food the unicorn interrupts them.
Strange... Aren't them supposed to interrupt the unicorns?
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Sutremaine

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29166 on: May 14, 2013, 09:36:04 pm »

Urist McUrist cancels store item: Interrupted by Goblin.x200
I couldn't get anyone to pull the lever that would have sealed the goblin and the spider behind the bridge...
Draft a bunch of dwarves and station them by the lever. Since they're military, they won't get interrupted, and when they're by the lever you can deactivate them and hopefully one of them will take the lever pulling job.
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Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

VerdantSF

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29167 on: May 14, 2013, 09:38:07 pm »

"A blind demonic diplomat from Nabsizpesor has arrived."

Phyllite, the Baron of Relicshield was reluctant to meet with this so-called emissary of the humans.  After a bit of deliberation, it was decided that the baron would meet the diplomat outside of the fortress proper, but still within the safety of the underground trade network.  However, two goblin ambush parties attacked the visitor before the meeting could take place.  Sphalerite, the Champion axedwarf of Relicshield, led the charge, cutting a swath of destruction and saving the demon's life.  The things dwarves do for good trade relations... 



Splint

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29168 on: May 14, 2013, 10:00:10 pm »

Well, upon inspection of poor lumberdwarf Sodel's headstone, i have found something disturbing. Not only did what amounts to a big ass velociraptor kill him, it stripped his pants off, I assume did rude things to him, and then killed him by striking him with his own pants. And by rude things I of course mean tore off both his hands and ate the rest of his left arm.

Negotiating was done, such as it was. I can only assume nobody wants to go where dinosaurs eat the wood workers so I don't expect migrants any time soon.

Eric Blank

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29169 on: May 14, 2013, 10:13:05 pm »

My marksdwarf captain just bagged me a kobold thief. One of them was spotted at the interior end of the trap hallway, and ran all the way back through the weapon traps to the cage trap section where she promptly was shot in the leg, causing her to pass out. I'm gonna toss her up the in captain's room as a trophy.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

ZzarkLinux

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29170 on: May 14, 2013, 10:46:31 pm »

The Werecavy attacks The Stray Doe Rabbit but She jump away !
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malimbar04

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29171 on: May 15, 2013, 12:15:06 am »

Well, I learned some new things now about goblins and using them for training.

The setup:
step 1 - put stray goblins on ropes.
step 2 - Take away anything that can be used as a weapon (weapons, sheilds, bags, etc).
step 3 - beat them to death one by one with squads of dwarves using training weapons and wearing cheap armor.

sounds simple, right? Well, it is. When killing goblins in this way though, remember that those goblins are still able to wrestle, and your teenage dwarves are really incompetent.  many broken bones later, i see my entire squad of 9 teenagers looking a bit... hurt. And what's crazier, is that I could have sworn that "swordmaster" used to be a hammer goblin.

And then I look at the battle logs to see the problem - the goblin wrestled away a wooden training sword and proceded to beat them like crazy. I don't know exactly how many are wounded righ tnow, but those squads are taking a break to rest up. That group of goblins was then slaughtered by the legendary Just Swords.

So now I think to myself - I could use this. I could quickly train up and equip goblins in future forts to almost decent levels with that concept. It might cost a few dwarves to do so though.
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No! No! I will not massacre my children. Instead, I'll make them corpulent on crappy mass-produced quarry bush biscuits and questionably grown mushroom alcohol, and then send them into the military when they turn 12...

VerdantSF

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29172 on: May 15, 2013, 12:46:16 am »

Relicshield, 21st Moonstone, Early Winter, Year 256

The caravan from the Mountainhome entered the Deep Roads safely, but the lollygagging outpost liaison was caught by an ambush.  Olivine the hammerdwarf was the first to respond, braving a hail of arrows, but alas she was too late.  The liaison was killed by a silver bolt to the back. Before Olivine could kill the murderous archer, a goblin axeman blocked her way.  She bite him on the head, but with her attention elsewhere, she took an arrow to the heel.  Even as she fell, she gave the goblin's head a good shake!



Before the axeman could improve his aim, Olivine's commander Sphalerite waded into the fray.




It seems the lost art of plaster casting has been rediscovered by Dolomite, the chief medic of Relicshield.  Prior to this, all attempts at setting bones used only splints and couldn't seem to make heads or tails of available plaster ;).


malimbar04

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29173 on: May 15, 2013, 12:57:02 am »

well, just had my most epic battle to date. Quite literally teh smoke is still slowly dissappaiting aroudn the troll corpses.

I've been slowly gathering masses and masses of goblins from sieges and ambushes, and putthing them in the same cage. I think I had a good 50 or so? maybe? I'm not sure. Could be double that, could be half. I set it up so my 3 super-elite sword dwarves, fully equipped in great steal, would be facing the hoard upon release. The gate was raised, the corridor was set I also had 2 trained war dragons behidn a wall in a pen, where they hung out to catch stragglers.

How I assumed it would go : a crapload of goblins and trolls would rush in, my sword dwarves would have a glorious battle slaughtering most of them, sustaining some injuries along the way (possibly death, the odds were against them).

How it actually happened: the dragons escaped and proceeded to breath fire on everything and everyone, vaporising most of the opposition as well as my military. As the goblins ran away and up the tower, the drqagons followed them. My rope-zoo is now missing half the ropes. My goblin-holding area is now without any of my backup goblins or cages. There are fragments of corpses everywhere. i don't even know what I've lost, since many things are not destroyed...  but completely vaporized. Also, I learned that dragonfire boils blood and wine, and that boiling troll blood/dwarven wine can burn so hot that it causes dwarves to instantly bleed to death. Also, dragon themselves are vulnerable to attacks, even if their fire destroys all things ever made.
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No! No! I will not massacre my children. Instead, I'll make them corpulent on crappy mass-produced quarry bush biscuits and questionably grown mushroom alcohol, and then send them into the military when they turn 12...

Valikdu

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #29174 on: May 15, 2013, 02:44:40 am »

Quote
And by rude things I of course mean tore off both his hands and ate the rest of his left arm.
"Caaaaarl! What did you do?!"
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