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[Eric Blank]

Strange times had befallen Impaledwomen. Because the mayor, the local vampire, was locked away in her own little world, trade liaisons had begun to build up. They had all found various stupid places to stand around and mope, including half-full bodies of water. So, logically, they were gaining swimming skill while they stood around in there. Eventually, I got tired of them and forced the mayoral office to change four separate times, and sent them all home with big diplomatic frowns on their stupidly-pruned faces. For roughly a year, one of the caravan guards did something similar in the river, exercising his impressive swimming skills, while also tearing a giant sponge many, many new holes. Of course, that didn't matter much to the sponge, but the guard went from a spearman to an elite wrestler before I got tired of the constant combat report spam and nuked the damn sponge with dfliquids. I didn't like the thing being so close to the bridge anyway.

What surprises me currently, is that two of those now-legendary swimming liaisons arrived on my doorstep as migrants.

One of my civ's deities is the god of fish and water, so I think I'll make these lowlife liaisons his high priests. Although only one of them actually worships the guy...

That migrant wave brings me up to 207 dwarves total. FPS is reading 55-60 pretty consistently, I have several legendary glassmakers and associated artifacts, and the dragon men haven't shown their ugly mugs in years, so clearly I'm doing something horribly wrong

Speaking of the deities, I have a gradn green-glass-roofed dome being built, which I intend to make a temple of. In there I can place statues of all the deities and burrow their chosen priests and whatnot.

This just in; the migrant liaisons also became cave-adapted whilst underground for several years

[Dunkelzahn]

just attempted to brave a haunted area, apparently the map looks like its half normal woods and half bad lands of stone. i think i am going to be fucked in my lower posterior by a cloud while my verbal area is assaulted by a zombie's ludicisly large spear

update: it is now raining pugnet ooze, i picture it as puss raining from the sky, on to my new settlement AND IT IS DISGUSTING
also looked up pus, does anyone one have industrial strength brain bleach at hand?

[Cyroth]

A low skill mason just went berserk in my useless dorf dorm, the only other dorf around was a pregnant craftsdwarf.
She gave birth while he pursued her and quickly spammed 43814 "cancel seek infant: interrupted by mason" messages. After a few seconds she gave up and ran out of the room, the mason changed targets and attacked the child.
He grabbed it by the throat and started to strangle it, but the newborn showed that it is a true dwarf and punched him several times, fracturing his legs bones and punching several of his teeth out.
After a full page of "mason strangles the baby" he gave up and started to kick it. The child endured and kept punching, breaking one of his arms.

Just then my military arrived and saved the child.
It is now in the hospital and has a broken rib, both legs broken and is yellow all over the other parts.
The mother shows no interest in it, but if it survives I'll make sure that it grows to adult, then it will get its own squad.

[Broseph Stalin]

Eleven diplomat demanded we stop cutting down trees. Had a particularly strong dwarf march into the kings room and beat him to a bloody pulp. The dwarf just kept hitting and hitting and hitting and spraying blood everywhere and the king just stood there incessantly cleaning the blood as it came out. It looked like some sort of depraved fetish thing. 

[coobuddy]

just had a goblin ambush led by a MaceDwarf. has this ever happened to anyone else?

[Lich180]

Building a sort-of castle thingy out of gabbro, in an area near necromancers and goblins. So far I have 30 dwarves outfitted with weapons and armor, with more being produced.

So far thieves and kidnappers only received a bolt to the face when entering the fort, and I realized I was going to soon have either ambushes or necro sieges very soon, so after the elves walked in the gates I ordered them shut. As a dwarf went to pull the lever, an ambush is detected. The bridges raise just in time to keep the goblins out, and I get the message "The dead walk! Hide while you still can!"

Dodged a bullet there. Now I've gotta try and capture one of these necromancers, and see what kind of trouble projects I can include him in.

[Liber celi]

just had a goblin ambush led by a MaceDwarf. has this ever happened to anyone else?

Regularely, depending on the world.
The Squadleaders are actual historic figures, while the soldiers are still randomly generated(I think). Goblins abduct children in worldgen and if they aren't murdered before they grow up, they become civ members.
Since kidnapping is highly effective in worldgen, those guys start outnumbering the goblins at some point, resulting in most squads being led by members of the predominant species in the world.

[Fallenworldful]

I finished designating sixty sets of upright weapon(S), linking them to a single lever.

10 glass menacing spikes in each. Now all I need is a goblin christmas... which still hasn't arrived. 

[PDF urist master]

year 130 proved to be an interesting year. the fort gained many medical workers, which is just what i needed. however, the fort lost several dwarves due to various ambushes. the number of snatchers this year was usually high. goblin christmas hasn't shown up yet, but the various ambushes and snatchers probably count as some sort christmas in july. during one ambush, a kobold thief tried to capitalize on the chaos and sneak into our fort. naturally he failed. his only escape route happened to be where the soldiers were fighting the ambush. overall, a pretty interesting year so far.

[sjm9876]

I forgot what happened when you attack the dwarven caravan. needless to say, my militia captain is now huddling in the remnants of the fort, slaughtering anything that moves.

[Daetrin]

Embarked with an extinct civ, ended up with only fifteen dwarves.

After twenty years I started getting kids and, eventually, moods.

After two failed moods due to lack of bones I scattered cages outside in hopes of catching the wild boars I saw occasionally.  Nope, capybera.  In an ill-fated attempt to collect the cages, four kobold ambushes killed four of my fort.  The resulting tantrum spiral brought me from 24 dwarves to 8.  4 of them are juveniles.  It's going to take another 20 years before the population starts expanding again.  However, I do have capybera now!

With DFHack's workflow manager and nopause I can let it run while I work, so I've been doing that with somewhat-isolated forts.

This one however has FBs with deadly dust, deadly blood, and webs just waiting for me to open up the caverns.  That's not going to happen for some time (my last attempt at a long-run fort with an extinct civ was ended by a deadly dust FB.  From now on I'm going to use marksdwarves and cave-in traps).

[Loud Whispers]

Asmel of were-civet notoriety in Silentthunders named the silver dagger that once belonged to Sigun and now belongs to her: Inir Ilir, The Decline of Joy.

Feels. Feels everywhere.

*EDIT
And now the entire military's been put off duty to increase civilian output by 100%. The last time the Fort was attacked has to have been at least 5 years since, I think it's safe to say their presence is not needed for now.

[SalmonGod]

A weapons prodigy named Fireychaos just migrated to my fortress...

That is by far the most awesome name I've seen this game generate yet...

[Not good with names]

All hail Id Treatyswelter, The Creative Sister of Blowing, who earned her title defending Inkyblushes, single-handed, from a goblin ambush!  Not going to say a word.

[Lich180]

All hail Id Treatyswelter, The Creative Sister of Blowing, who earned her title defending Inkyblushes, single-handed, from a goblin ambush!  Not going to say a word.

-snicker-

Anyways, gonna see what I can get done about this necro siege, and if I can capture a necromancer while eliminating his zombies... Pretty sure I can do this safely, the elves in the depot may not appreciate staying a while, but its that or death.