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[Liosan]

Just got a vampire king... and he is awesome! "He is basically unbreakable, unbelievably strong, amazingly agile and quick to heal", so obviously I made him into an axedwarf. He single-handedly dismembered a minotaur, choping all the limbs with such speed that for each of the minotaurs combat action the vampire king took 5. I currently have him locked and burrowed (for good measure) in his royal complex, stuff up to the brim with gold. I hope he'll stay polite...

And, of course, he is mandating the production of buckets. Whatever.

Liosan

[chaosgear]

One of my herbalists goes berserk in the workshops. I sic the  a nearby wardog on him.

"The ironclad dog scratches the herbalist in the head from behind, tearing the fat and bruising the muscle, fracturing the skulls bone, bruising the outer brain tissue and bruising the brain tissue!
Stukos Sakrithducim, Herbalist has been struck down!"

Dang, wardog, you scary!

[Eric Blank]

Second artifact in the fortress, created by a (already highly-skilled) armorer: Calmpleat the Iron wargreaves. It is encrusted with basalt cabochons and pear-cut pinfire opals, menaces with spikes of iron, and possesses an image depicting itself on itself. That's some bitchin' pants. To the militia commander with ye!

[edit]

Bollocks! He better get them pants on real fast: The dead walk, and I highly doubt we could break this siege with anything resembling skill. The militia will be stationed behind the entrance hallway whilst some loser moves to raise the drawbridge. I learned my less with CrystalTombs: Zombie apocalypses aren't a joke.

[edit of edit]

.......
A single goblin ambush wiped out the zombie population without casualty. Apparently, the zombies were sent alone without their necromancer/whatever else masters to raise them, so the siege is done and over-with.

[Aviator CJ]

I have discovered that a goblin kept in an aquarium will survive, even when that aquarium is kept outside atop a spire, even in winter when the water freezes into ice. That poor, poor goblin Sucker.

[fourpotatoes]

The human caravan brought me a bronze whip that menaces with spikes of pitchblende. Clearly this slightly radioactive can-opener should only be wielded by a deserving dwarf.

Beside my pitchblende prize, I've got a stock of five whips, so I think it's time for a lasher squad. I should probably set out some cage traps to catch volunteers to assist with their training.

Down in the deeps, the slow death of the vampire whose name must not be mentioned continues (or rather, starts again, since I had to go back to a seasonal autosave after a crash). I'm firing a mix of copper-tipped and solid wood ballista bolts at her, and a wood one has actually managed to tear apart the skin and break one of her fingers. I think that's the first time I've seen a wooden ballista arrow do more than bruise since they were changed.

While I was writing this, one of my Great Cheesemakers shot a kobold thief in the heart.

Edit: the mayor just one-shotted another kobold, putting a +copper bolt+ through its brain.

[Fishybang]

Second year in Coalclaw has just begun, with the wealth at 137,000 Urists, and a new artifact gem barrel. I was hoping for a table, or throne, but atleast its not a large gem.

EDIT: Also, i seem to have an upright sword on this map, found it by hooking a lever up to some spikes, and there it was, in the list.

[HD23]

I picked my baron because he likes bucklers and barrels, both easy to make and useful items.
He got upgraded to count and all was well.

A few years later, dwarven caravan came and I traded them all the seeds I had on the map.
Then right before the caravan left, the count banned the export of barrels, which dwarf use to store seed bags.

Some 20+ dwarfs got sentenced to jail for hauling the barrels to the depo, but since I didn't have nearly
enough chains in prison, the captain of the guard procedeed to beat them all.
He didn't use his non-dangerous adamantine warhammer, choosing instead to punch everyone.

And a few minutes later I get the spam of
6x Urist McHauledthebarrel has suffocated

He was punching them in the chest, and even though he was unquestionably weak, he was bruising
their lungs and making them die a slow death.

I'm thinking of drafting him into the militia, as he has more kills than most of them.

[Iceflame]

The second year of my new fortress has passed, and I did nothing but dig for magma.
Which I found. 60 z-levels under my main fortress. I think i need to spend the next three or four years figuring out how to pump the magma up, without losing my fortress to a fps death. Suggestions?

[Eric Blank]

About a year ago I had caught a vampire after they killed one of my soldiers. Today, I learned that she has been elected mayor and is serving her mayoral sentence in the room I locked her in.

I need to figure out what to do with her. I can't just expect all to go smoothly, as she needs access to the liaisons form the mountainhomes without access to hostiles or to the other dwarves.

Maybe I'll just tap her for sugary sapbloody blood-blood and convert all my favorite dwarves into bloodsucking monsters, fed by the lowly peasant popualtion (whom I would have to maintain at a decent number, which could prove tricky.) Maybe fed by gremlins? They DO need to sleep, so I'd wager that if they collapsed of exhaustion in a hallway a vampire might choose to suck them dry.

In other news, recent ambushes have died horribly, along with the merchants they were ambushing, and a already-legendary carpenter had a mood and made a barrel. It's a pretty neat barrel, I guess. I'll use it to construct a dyer's shop or something in the dining room.

[Naryar]

Well, I found one of my legendary hammer lords dead in a free cage on my animal stockpile. What the fuck ??

Visibly he died a few days ago. May have been knocked unconscious over one of my cage traps and died in the cage. It's been too early for him to die of thirst or something.

I am surprised, it's been three or four goblin sieges, and strictly all my melee dwarves have been curbstombing them ever since.

...Wait, he died of thirst ? How is this possible, did he get caught earlier ?

also, my population went just under my popcap, which is 80. Before next year's caravan comes, reports it to the mountainhope and sends me a 60 dwarf migrant wave of doom, I increase the babycap. I fully expect a babysplosion in 9 months.

[Eric Blank]

A cobald merchant got stuck somehow and couldn't figure out how to get off my map, despite sitting on the edge in the caverns. So I eventually had the militia sent in to put her out of her not-insane misery. Poor Cathy.

And at roughly the same time, a giant bat swoops in to eat one of my dwarves. Poor Vabok.

And then a damn helmet snake joins in on the buffet. What the hell did she do to you stupid animals?

[Loud Whispers]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My reservoir may have been a tiny bit bigger than I'll ever need it to be...

[Crashmaster]

Now in it's 82 year Stormrack is being tested by the deaths of it's elderly dwarves. In the last three years six ledgendary members of the millitary and most recently the Cuntess Asob Oilyfortress have passed onto Armok's firey embrace. We are down to only 6 ledgendary mechanics now, slowing the final construction stage of project; BLACK H.A.L.O. to a crawl. Population is down to 86, 15 or so are children. It's been at least 40 years since any migrants have arrived. The majority of the fort's youthfull population has been cross-trained and split into squads for training under the youngest of the surviving experienced military dwarves with fortess defence maintained by those on deaths door already (actually Kogsak alone still kills almost everything that gets past the major defenses). Soon time to replace the watch tower peacocks again.

[Reelya]

While under new management (came back to the game after a while off), i decided to clean things up and get my defenses in order. In the middle of restructuring my entrance, a vile force arrived. Pulling everyone inside I remembered I had torn down my legendary doors and ripped out most of my traps, making it possible for the 3 squads of trolls to get into my fortress.

This is why you should back up your traps with pressure plate / hatch combos: let citizens pass, but automatically block hostiles. building destroyers destroy the hatch, thus locking themselves out. Really, you can't go wrong with these as a fail-safe.

[Splint]

If the hatche is destroyed, can't they just go in? I wasn't under the impression of pressure plates being obstacles, just floor activated.... Well, pressure plates.