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[Reudh]

I now have 5392 meat for a population of 149.

Nice to know I have company. I have almost nothing BUT meat.

You two could have a sausage party together then.

/crossedtheline?

[doublestrafe]

I just dug a magma forge out, designated a sacrifice to die to the lava flow and designated a carve fortification in smoothed obsidian.  What happened next was perplexing.  He was washed away from the stairs by the pressure of the magma, all the way to the end of my channel.  I expected him to just be annihilated by the magma, but he sat there pinned against the wall dying of thirst and not the molten rock.  I finally decided to bring one of the other miners down to dig a channel addon and let him get out, which he did.  But not before he got possessed and has now taken over a Craftsdwarf's Workshop and is makign something mysterious.  Anyone run into this before? lol. 

He's not wearing anything other than normal cloth, and he suffered no injuries at all from what I can tell.

Yeah, this has happened before - it's because magma doesn't actually destroy tissue, but merely melts the fat off dwarves and causes them to bleed a lot. They usually die from bleeding rather than being on fire.

You should probably check to make sure temperature is turned on, though.

[Oaktree]

No dwarven caravan or liaison this year at Cryptdagger.  A three squad goblin siege with a support group of cave crocodiles turned up just before it did. 

By random chance the crocs entered the map right where the tunnel for caravans to use surfaces to exit.  So the initial combat was eight crocs vs dwarves supported by a few of my trained war crocs.  Crossbows and swords made sort work of the goblin-trained ones, so the remains were carted off to be butchered.

The three squads of mounted goblins fared little better.  One squad entered the South Tunnel and was sealed in for the traps to deal with.  The second and part of the third squad (most of it just suddenly ran away) entered the Outer Keep and fell victim to a combination of traps, elite marksdwarves sniping from fortifications, and a sudden sortie by a pair of steel-armored mace dwarves.  The last mainly finished off wounded goblins.  A bunch of goblins that had fallen/dodged into the perimeter ditch were used as target practice by the Captain of the Guard and his marksdwarves.  The Captain himself also personally shot down an axe goblin on his giant cave swallow with three bolts; one brought the swallow down, the next two were head shots on the swallow and then the goblin.

Most of the rest of the year was spent with minor projects.  Training dwarves in various skills, upgrading armor and weapon quality, and digging out a "trap" for a couple of Forgotten Beasts that are wandering about.  And a couple of kobolds discovered that the captain of the mace squad runs faster than they do, even though he is wearing a full suit of steel armor.

[Mephisto]

My fort just got its first elite wrestler after said wrestler completed an extensive strangling session and gained three kills. The fort was mobbed by capuchin men and women, which proceeded to nick two enormous corkscrews and a chopping axe (Masterwork mod). In an effort to prevent more theft, I recruited my three miners. I seem to recall that they used to use their picks as weapons, but they immediately dropped them instead.

"The Wrestler grabs The Capuchin Woman by the right buttock with her left shin!"

Hopefully this wrestler shoving her foot up the ass of one of the invading monkey people will make them think twice before coming back.

She then proceeds to grab the monkey lady's left buttock and groin twice with her right hand. Don't you know that it's lonely being the only woman on the wrestling team? Apparently she'll take it where she can get it.

The jokes and erotic dwarf-on-monkey fiction just write themselves.

[Wrex]

I had my first run of my dragon pillbox today, Intrestingly enough, when you are hit by 9 blasts of dragonfire at once, it's not the bleeding that kills you. It's the explosive exsanguination that happens when your blood turns to steam.

[Sus]

A vile force of darkness has arrived!

"Oh for F... What do you mean the fortifications are still not ready? What in Armok's infinite beard have you been doing all this time?"

The Cave crocodile shakes the Lumberjack around by the right upper arm and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The right upper arm is torn off and remains in the Cave crocodile's grip!
The Leopard scratches the Cave crocodile in the head, bruising the scale!
etc.

...

Your strength has been broken.

Oh, fie. That's what you get for selling superior-quality obsidian crafts to the first caravan... 

[Iceflame]

Well, nothing is going on.
Not a single siege in 3 years, although I embarked between 3 towers, not even an ambush.

[gbrngfol]

My fort just got its first elite wrestler after said wrestler completed an extensive strangling session and gained three kills. The fort was mobbed by capuchin men and women, which proceeded to nick two enormous corkscrews and a chopping axe (Masterwork mod). In an effort to prevent more theft, I recruited my three miners. I seem to recall that they used to use their picks as weapons, but they immediately dropped them instead.

You need to draft them into the military before they will use their picks as weapons. They stop mining when you do this so it's best just to train axedwarves or simply draft a lot of cannon fodder peasants.

[Splint]

Carved a nice little tomb complece out of an icy hill in the middle fo the map. A baby, killed in the siege that hit earlier this year and a Lifeminer/master engraver, killed in an unrelated accident, have been entombed. The baby evidently liked mugs.

[Spell]

One of my soldiers was severely injured during last siege(some cuts, broken bones and one overlapping fracture). Everything has been taken care of and he is now lying in the traction bench, but strange thing is that he is constantly being diagnosed. It' a great way to train my doctors, but i wonder if he'll ever heal if he is bugged.  I don't want to decontruct the traction bench for now because of the free training. Worst case scenario: living training dummy for my doctors.

[Splint]

One kid became an adult, one a child nolonger being dragged about by his macedorf mamma, and there's literally no wildlife apart from the three yetis and the giant worm I have on my map in cages. Someone made 143k dorfbuck native platinum braclet and The Frosty Picks have "Become quite knowlegeable crundle trainers." I'm.... Not really sure if I should be proud of that.

[612DwarfAvenue]

>Embark on haunted biome
>not even 15 seconds in, find out there's Zombie Flying Swallowmen everywhere
>Zombie Flying Swallowmen chasing my Dwarves around
>Igotthis.png
>Draft Miner to dispense pick-to-ass justice
>DIS GUNNA BE GOO--
>"Urist McSoldierminer has been struck down"
>
>Get remaining Dwarves to work on walling up the place
>Zombie Flying Swallowmen come back to harass my Dwarves
>Draft Woodcutter to dispense axe-to-ass retribution
>"Urist McSoldierwoodcutter has been struck down"
>
>Flying Swallowmen are screwing with my Dwarves in the little tunnel i've dug so far
>Draft another Dwarf
>"Urist McMeatshield has been struck down"
>Draft another Dwarf
>"Urist McLEEEERROOOOOYY has been struck down"
>
>Draft another Dwarf
>"Urist McUnluckybastard has been --" OH FOR THE LOVE OF C'THULHU SPANKING ARMOK'S ASS WITH A DEAD FISH
>Zombie Flying Swallowmen are gone for the moment, put 2 remaining Dwarves to work finishing up the walls and roof
>Of the original 7 Dwarves, 4 dogs and 4 cats, i'm now down to 2 Dwarves, 0 dogs, 2 cats.
>This is not even 5 minutes into the fort
>MFW

[angrysully]

Computer messed up and had to reformat and lost my 12 year fort and counting.  Going to try and build in a haunted evil biome.  Quick question, how do you know if you build on a volcano?

[Haspen]

Waterfall bathroom project is finished in Tangathurist.

Latest siege netted me screen full of red smears, fifty bodies and at least fifty body parts.

[Lich180]

If the volcano is exposed to the surface, on the world map it shows as a red ^, or whatever the character for a trap is for your tileset. Plus on the site finder, the volcano should be listed along with streams, rivers, etc.

Minor zombie problem. Embarked on a good/neutral/evil area, of course I plop down my fort right on the evil part. Thankfully the only thing it does is reanimate corpses. First 2 years go by without issue, a few dumb marksdwarves got killed by zombie giant mosquitos and bushtit men, but nothing bad.

Year 3, the elven traders managed to get into the depot, but just as they unload their crap goods they detect a goblin ambush! I decide the only logical course of action is to close the drawbridge to the outside, sealing the elves and goblins in an airlock. Of course, now I have goblins trapped on my depot, and no cage traps or such to be rid of them yet. Thinking back, I totally forgot I could have just forged a few cages and called it good, thus preventing this disaster

Anyways, I stationed the marksdwarf squad on top of the main entrance, where I planned to put an archer tower, but hadn't gotten around to it. They shoot down the goblins while masons put up walls and carve them into fortifications, and work on sealing the roof. Another goblin ambush was spotted by a zombie elf head and was struck down by the marksdwarves. All of the sudden, giant crows show up, get shot down by the marksdwarves, and everything promptly zombifies and either flies or crawls up to the fort, and the crows go over the unfinished walls of the tower. Thankfully I had installed a hatch cover over the stairs, so after the crows died again i sent the marksdwarves back underground and sealed off the tower. Refuse hauling has been enabled on everyone, just to get these damned corpses underground into the temporary refuse pile, located in the non-reanimating side of the map.

Now to deal with the remaining goblin zombies, and clear up the surface a little bit. Shockingly, no one was injured in this whole mess.

EDIT: As soon as I unpause, human merchants show up, promptly see zombies everywhere and leave, and ANOTHER goblin ambush pops up and gets mauled by zombies. Damn it.