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[MehMuffin]

My axedorf went insane. Makes sense, I've had my entire drafted starting seven running around trying to stop the zombie apocalypse, and none of them are too happy.

[Teneb]

For some reason, blood thorns are growing all over my fort. I have yet to open even the first cavern layer. Wierd.

[Sutremaine]

The corpse coaster is producing corpses instead of disposing of them. I didn't leave much room at the base to add extra track stops, and when the minecart is moving at about 1.5 spaces a tick... well, after digging out a messy flat section it looks like it takes about half a dozen highest-friction stops to slow the cart down so that it doesn't paint the rider onto the wall.

Also magma is bubbling up from the magma flow and pooling on the track.

[Fishybang]

So my mayor got got angry that a ranger didnt make him shortswords so the caption of the guard was just getting his bed when o all people sleeps on his bed but the ranger that is going to get beat. So the caption walks in and just punches his skull in

[WanderingKid]

The corpse coaster is producing corpses instead of disposing of them. I didn't leave much room at the base to add extra track stops, and when the minecart is moving at about 1.5 spaces a tick... well, after digging out a messy flat section it looks like it takes about half a dozen highest-friction stops to slow the cart down so that it doesn't paint the rider onto the wall.

Also magma is bubbling up from the magma flow and pooling on the track.

Hm, so 100+ z-level ramp + cart = Maximum Friction will not stop the cart, 'eh?  Good to know.

[theprofessor!]

My fortress is in a half sinister biome and I put the original wall around my wagon up at the very border of the sinster part of the biome, and I unintentionally built my front door trap maze right over sinister ground causing any dead animals/thieves who get inside to continuously come back to life then get hacked to bits by giant silver axe blades and silver menacing spikes again and again and again

while entertaining this has become bothersome since my dwarves all seem to get depressed at the mere sight of the undead, so I was considering relocating the whole maze to non-evil ground when a goblin ambush came and took out a couple hunters outside of my fortress.  I hadn't noticed several thieves had already begun filling up my weapons traps and then just as the ambush party got partway through the maze, their own fellow goblins begun to rise from the dead and attack them, while they were still being massacred by the traps.  I imagine it was quite a mindfuck for the gobboes, so I've decided to keep it and simply expand it so it becomes a massive labyrinth possibly filled with the eternally tormented undead bodies of their loved(?) ones

Then I'll add the crocodiles

[theprofessor!]

IMPORTANT QUESTION: if a crocodile (any animal really, but crocodiles right now) is chained up over sinister ground then dies and comes back as an undead, will it stay chained up still?

Because omg you guys undead crocodile guards

[Loud Whispers]

IMPORTANT QUESTION: if a crocodile (any animal really, but crocodiles right now) is chained up over sinister ground then dies and comes back as an undead, will it stay chained up still?

No. When a creature dies, it drops all items worn or held. Including chains.

~HOWEVER~

You can assign undead animals just as well as wild animals to chains and cages. I specifically tried this by drowning some pigs, caging them and assigning them to encourage the atonement of prisoners, but alas, being chained made them slightly more docile. They then had to be put down due to bacon demand, but the science results were in and I've forgotten what I began typing abou-

[Eoganachta]

So my front porch is littered with body parts from a Tigerman siege which have reanimated since I recalled my squads to hide from a Frogman siege (FD). The battlefields have been scavenged by zombie keas, which have already managed to tear apart a few dwarves. That siege was then destroyed by my former siege and basically reduces my defacto defence to attracting bigger and larger sieges to destroy the remains of the remains of the previous ones. Soon my trap corridor with cage and weapon traps and a dodge-'em pit (20 z-levels deep) which I shall fill with magma if I can. The plan is to capture as much as possible to cut down on reanimating bodies and the rest will be dashed apart on the rocks 20 z-levels below! Any that survive the fall will be torn to shreds by those that fell before.
It's a massive improvement to my squad-based defence I was using before; I've had to resort to more mechanical means due to the huge increase in bodies and a steady decrease in dwarves. My crypts resemble zoos. 

[lazygun]

A fire man pathed into my fort and toasted my legendary armorsmith. It also demolished a floodgate so eventually it might drown.

On the bright side, about 5 minutes earlier a master armorsmith immigrated.

[Putnam]

Dwarf Fortress: where fire men are submerged in water and die by drowning.

[lazygun]

This world seems determined to incinerate my fort. Still, I expected a dragon to be somewhat harder to kill.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Construction work continues on building a shooting gallery, hoping to do something similar to the fire man in the depths.

[loose nut]

Oh, hi, new fisherdwarf! What, you know how to do just about everything else? That's great! You've lived in 20 other places? Fantastic! You killed somebody a hundred years before you were born? Amazing! We're going to put you in an elite squad, and your first mission is to stand right here on this pier – yes, right over the volcano, don't worry – and we're just going to lock this here door, and don't you worry about the chipping sounds you may hear just outside the door, that's perfectly normal too!

(6 hours later)

Oh, hi, everyone! Guess we should build some more safety walls around the side of the volcano, so in case we have to drop a suspicious dwarf in, we don't cause a cloud of smoking dust that knocks three other presumably innocent dwarves, including one of the founding miners, right into the lava! Stone blocks falling into lava generate smoke and dust, who knew, hahaha! Ok Urist gimme that sewer brew and leave me alone for the rest of the month.

[Loud Whispers]

Construction has gone well! It's been a full new year and nearly the entire ground level of the main fort has been floored over. The woodcutters have finally decided to clear the encroaching trees, a few civilians are still very unhappy about being homeless (building the new level of civilan quarters has been slow what with the resources being diverted to fortifying Eshomaud's defenses) and having their pets slaughtered. Apparently I'm still at siege, with no enemies in sight so I assume stealthy necromancers are afoot. The bees are... Well, taking their time, but time's what I have so I don't mind. Ravens... Ravens everywhere.
Winter is leaving, so at least I'll be able to rid myself of the ravens and welcome the keas oh god nevermind.

And finally! After 3 years of digging deeper and discovering the first native metals (tetrahedrite), the Dwarves of Silentthunders have finished mapping out the local veins, digging them up and moving the important stuff away.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've dug up several dozen goshenites and other semi-precious stones since any chance of imported ones will be lost forever due to eternal siege, enough copper and silver supplies to last me the entire fort lifespan, and chert. Lots of chert. Now other metals than brass can be added to my list of commonplace building materials, yet I'm left with the problem. What to do with all that space?
Currently the mine is sealed up via locked doors to save FPS, and is divided into sections for easy managing of territory should I ever make my mind up.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Colour coded each sector that has been individually sealed from the other for viewing convenience

It's too far away to be a frequently used part of the fortress, and will be linked straight to the caverns when I find it. Of course it could just be more permanently sealed up than it is right now, but considering how this is (besides the quarry itself) the only major mining operation ever done by my Dwarves, and it takes up so much space that I'd feel it'd be wasted just doing nothing there but look awesome.
Of the most like conversions, I'm probably going to turn the closed mines into:

1. A shadow Fortress populated entirely by creatures not of total Dwarf kind. Were creatures, vampires (if I find any), even captured merchant guards. Should the Fort fall, its shadow would emerge from the depths to reclaim the surface.
And vomit everywhere.
This of course does require me finding somethings worth keeping separated, preserved, contained or protected. I have two were-creatures, three were-dwarves, one necromancer and a few merchant guards (who I've now considered protecting, given their scarcity). I don't think that's enough. And even then, it'd defeat the purpose of me sealing it away to preserve FPS.

2. A Dwarf vault. Vacuum packed with supplies such as undead pigs (to preserve the food), booze, water, raw materials and enough weapons and armour to field a squad or two. In the event of Fortress catastrophe, the Fort would be abandoned, all the levers pulled and broken to ensure total irreversible lockdown. Any Dwarves that would not be holding back the disaster would have to find their way into escape pods, ensure they're secure before locating tunnels that lead to the vault.
This would of course demand I build entirely new infrastructure, one much deeper than the roads above the quarry. This seems likely to be the case.

3. A mix of the two.

4. An abandoned mine filled with nasties. Dwarves sent there won't be coming back. Be it a lone secluded vampire, or a zombie GDS. Something.

5. The next migrant group has to survive inside that layer for the rest of their days. I'll give them all the resources they need. But they have to live in the space of the mine, and only the mine. First, it'll seem like paradise. Then, when it starts getting over populated and Dwarves get more agitated...

Appreciate ideas/suggestions. I wanted to make a flowing underground river/cave system, but the local river freezes often.

[waldo]

immigrant plugs, i really need to find a way to deal with these guys...