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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 6227707 times)

Squanto

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22905 on: May 16, 2012, 06:02:55 pm »

Welp, dwarves have a negative IQ for sure.  Guess where my expedition leader/manager/broker/bookeeper decides to meet the liaison?
Not in his office.
It was in THE MIDDLE OF THE ****ING WOOD TRAIN.
This is about 4 z-levels up from his office and the rest of the fort, in the mountainside.  There is no reason at all for him to be there.  His lower spine is now broken and he hasn't moved for half a year.  I also have had my wood income disabled by this because I don't want to kill the liaison who is on the track too.
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Probably no reason other than it giving them a larger B-peen.
The B is for Business.

Daenyth

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22906 on: May 16, 2012, 06:37:12 pm »

The Stray War Jaguar has died of old age!


Nooooo! I never got to have a breeding pair! Cursed elves!
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Niccolo

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22907 on: May 16, 2012, 06:59:01 pm »

I've started a new fort inside a volcano. Trying to make the base completely modular; then I'm going to carve out all of the mountain and completely surround the fortress with magma.

At which point I might then cut off surface contact and drop the entire fortress into the caverns for shits and giggles.

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What's wrong with using magma? That's almost always the easiest method.
I have issues channeling it properly to do that method. I end up flooding the fortress with magma.
Check out my RtD!

ZzarkLinux

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22908 on: May 16, 2012, 06:59:12 pm »

When watering my patients, carrying a glumprong bucket didn't seem to slow the nurse down very much.
I guess that's a good thing (does it change in 34.08?)

With my population 50, some good re-organizing setup everyone so I only have like 4 idlers,
and even them I could make them stone haulers if I want.
Updated my RabbitHut
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Hanslanda

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22909 on: May 16, 2012, 07:04:35 pm »

Elves arrive to trade at my fort.  Cool beans, I need some cloth.  Hmm. No cloth, so I buy a buncha clothes and clay and assorted odds and ends.  Trade it all for three serrated iron discs.  I hit 't'.
Once a beautiful tree, and now a rude bauble fit only for your kind.
 :o
 >:(
Motherfucker, you had a 5K profit, but you just FUCKED that up.  Summon the militia, I've had it up to here with these pointy eared ponces.
Militia, these elves are spies and enemies of our glorious nation.  Dispatch them immediately. I heart s-k-r-enter-enter.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

LuckyLuigi

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22910 on: May 16, 2012, 07:12:08 pm »

Well we entered the caverns and I think the wagon escape route should work. Still waiting for a wagon caravan to survive entry into my fort so too soon to tell if I did it right.

Of course, the entry was not uncontested. Most of the forgotten beasts luckily died easily. Then a giant bat swooped down on an explorer and ripped her head off. That was rather disturbing  :o. Descending deeper into the caves we found the coastline where a cave crocodile lived. Up to three times he ripped an explorer to pieces, vanishing into the water when my militia arrived, striking the moment I recalled them. He died when my soldiers caught him destroying the practice range.

Things seemed safe when suddenly a flaming forgotten beast arrived (from the sea of all places) and laid waste. Fortunately a lot of war dogs were near and they took the brunt of the attack. All of them died but they did take out a leg and allowed one of my militia to close. In an epic struggle that lasted very long he finally killed it by whacking off its head with his warhammer. Burning, bleeding and suffocating from all the smoke he dragged himself back to the barracks (leaving a trail of blood all the way) and resumed training with the other soldiers keeping a respectful distance. He actually healed on his own and is still alive  8). The caverns are now filled with smoke as there are burning war dog corpses everywhere.

It cost me a lot of giant copper tipped arrows but I managed to hit a troll with my Ballista  :D He was extremely heavily wounded but eventually healed (I'd run out of arrows) and wandered off, the bastard.

The one vampire that was not completely miserable has been released and has gone on a massive killing spree killing six including the mayor (which I hated for his fondness of bracelets). Attempting to lock him up I unleashed another vampire ( ::)). Now they are both wandering around tantrumming and killing people (including my bookkeeper) as they haven't had clothes on for years. In other news, I've run out of clothes. Not quite sure what to do, don't want to lock them up or kill them yet untill I am sure the depressed one is now harmless  :-\.

My hunter learned the hard way that taking a nap outside with an enraged Wolverine nearby is a very bad idea. She lives but she won't be running for miss Dwarf anytime soon  ;D.

In horrible ways to die we have a winner today with another limping guy getting a gate shut in his face due to slowness and then getting shot at least 50 times by 8 goblin bowmen while at the same time getting beaten up by a Tick man. Talk about the death by a thousand pinpricks. Ironically he was working on building an escape tunnel to prevent exactly this happening  :'(.

We've also lost a godawful amount of kids to kidnappers lately. All this has caused various minor tantrum spirals and suicdes. With the lack of clothes everyone is living on the edge now.

I also discovered we have much fewer weapons and armor as I thought. We're slowly turning out some steel toyz for the boyz to remedy this.

I have a problem I don't know how to solve. I'm a mountainhome now but no king etc as my baron has commited suicide (by dwarf) before we became a mountainhome. Now with every migrant wave I get traders. They just stand at the edge of the map and get killed. No idea what to do about this  :(.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2012, 07:15:46 pm by LuckyLuigi »
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Check out Time Denee's brilliant DF comics of Bronzemurder and Oilfurnace.

Batdwarf Forever !

Magmodeus

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22911 on: May 16, 2012, 07:13:08 pm »

Started fortress after updating. 10 Minutes in..I've made a corridor track with a never ending minecart ride aka I set it to ride always. Everyone is dead except our woodcutter. He's just in that lonely, haunted, bloodstained corridor riding the minecart that killed all his friends...I bet he's having the time of his life.
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daneel

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22912 on: May 16, 2012, 07:40:54 pm »

I had a clear glass titan attack and I couldn't kill the thing with silver warhammers. So trapped it in a small room with a view. Now he serves as archery practice and silk web producer. He currently has 476 bolts stuck in him.
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penguinofhonor

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22913 on: May 16, 2012, 07:45:16 pm »

I buy leather from the humans based on how interesting the animal is.

Right now I'm wondering how they got octopus, nautilus, and cuttlefish leather.
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Eric Blank

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22914 on: May 16, 2012, 07:52:03 pm »

Putting dangerous ghosts to rest, and admiring the creation of new ghosts thanks to dragonman ambushers. Fucking dragonmen...
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Kepplerr

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22915 on: May 16, 2012, 08:44:06 pm »

My only living miner is on break again. It's already summer and the idiot JUST finished mining out the entrance...
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Having a sudden increase of additional units in the area can take your FPS down like a paraplegic on an ice covered hill.

dwarfkoala

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22916 on: May 16, 2012, 09:23:59 pm »

•made fresh water kill stagnant water, salt no longer spreads into fresh.
YES.
YES
YES
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Eric Blank

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22917 on: May 16, 2012, 09:27:53 pm »

A goblin siege showed up. There were only a few dwarves outside and after hitting the !!PANIC!! button everybody made a mad dash for the dining hall. I let the last dwarf waddle his way in as the single dwarf farthest from the lever to control the bridge, my own avatar, left the dining room with intent to pull it.

I waited, and waited, and waited, and admired how close the enemy forces had gotten, and suddenly a troll round the corner, charges headlong towards the bridge, and it suddenly slams shut right in his face. I laughed out loud.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

+!!scientist!!+

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22918 on: May 16, 2012, 09:31:29 pm »

I think that this is worth sharing:

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"what are all these shapes? Why are they moving around. What do they want from me?"

Eric Blank

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #22919 on: May 16, 2012, 09:53:11 pm »

A child just made an artifact turtle shell figurine of a dwarf striking a menacing pose as an elf makes a plaintive gesture. Nothing could be dwarfier, besides the addition of a magma river on which the dwarf is riding in a steel minecart.

Unfortunately he also depicted one of the fortress' previous residents dying of dehydration during the great tantrum spiral of 101, and an image of a book named "The Secret: Further Musings."
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.
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