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[thegoatgod_pan]

A. Vomit f.b.s have gone the other end of a nerf cliff--a single bolt from a marksdwarf or bite from a kitten will break them into pieces (same goes for salt, fire etc--except fire will explode and melt nearby dwarves)

B. Nobles are fun!  Make sure he/she has the best rooms in the fort (tentatively for now, but make a mini-megaproject out of it if you can gem windows, artifact furniture, etc). A good place for a noble is an inactive marksdwarf squad (give him a personal training target).  In a few years he/she will be able to take care of any threats to personal safety in style.

[Phantom of The Library]

A. Vomit f.b.s have gone the other end of a nerf cliff--a single bolt from a marksdwarf or bite from a kitten will break them into pieces (same goes for salt, fire etc--except fire will explode and melt nearby dwarves)

B. Nobles are fun!  Make sure he/she has the best rooms in the fort (tentatively for now, but make a mini-megaproject out of it if you can gem windows, artifact furniture, etc). A good place for a noble is an inactive marksdwarf squad (give him a personal training target).  In a few years he/she will be able to take care of any threats to personal safety in style.

Good idea, I think that I'll do that, except after I get my actual military up to snuff and get them a steady supply of bolts, they may have actually killed something now, but they still couldn't take on a proper enemy, arena almost finished on a related note.

Thanks for the info on the vomit-beast too, if only the same was true for the bloody pondgrabber...

[Reudh]

A hunter was surprised by a goblin snatcher. He instantly unloaded his entire selection of bolts into the hapless thief, who promptly died.

[Gizogin]

A. Vomit f.b.s have gone the other end of a nerf cliff--a single bolt from a marksdwarf or bite from a kitten will break them into pieces (same goes for salt, fire etc--except fire will explode and melt nearby dwarves)

B. Nobles are fun!  Make sure he/she has the best rooms in the fort (tentatively for now, but make a mini-megaproject out of it if you can gem windows, artifact furniture, etc). A good place for a noble is an inactive marksdwarf squad (give him a personal training target).  In a few years he/she will be able to take care of any threats to personal safety in style.

By "best rooms in the fort," I assume you mean something like this:

[Phantom of The Library]

A. Vomit f.b.s have gone the other end of a nerf cliff--a single bolt from a marksdwarf or bite from a kitten will break them into pieces (same goes for salt, fire etc--except fire will explode and melt nearby dwarves)

B. Nobles are fun!  Make sure he/she has the best rooms in the fort (tentatively for now, but make a mini-megaproject out of it if you can gem windows, artifact furniture, etc). A good place for a noble is an inactive marksdwarf squad (give him a personal training target).  In a few years he/she will be able to take care of any threats to personal safety in style.

By "best rooms in the fort," I assume you mean something like this:

Historically that's pretty much what my noble rooms have looked like.  (Only with more spikes to make sure that the job gets done.) I think I'm going to go the challenging route this time though.

[Yoink]

The hospital is filling with the cloying stink of rotting flesh again, as the badly wounded simply give in and die in their beds.
This is no way for heroes to die, but there is no-one to tend to them!
Outside of the hospital and the horrors within, we try to fix things, to rebuild in the giants' wake. But how long until some other wicked beings decide to attack us? We've already had one forgotten beast, and the riots are still going on...

[Reudh]

Our diagnoser suffered a broken toe in an ambush. He went to sleep for months.

Limulunnos was made into a county. With the construction of the Great Adamantine Road of Limulunnos, we now fulfill the requirements to be made the capital.

A carpenter walled himself in and died.

[SixOfSpades]

Well, Marblehalls has FINALLY had its first real brush with combat. Our cage traps (6 at each of the 4 entrances) have collected their due harvest of goblin snatchers over the years, but at long last I was a little slow closing the gate behind a new party of migrants, and An ambush! Curse them!

4 of the goblin pikemen were swallowed by cages, 2 were shot down by the departing Human merchants, and one made it inside: Happily, he idiotically got bloodlust against a lamb, and chased it all across the map, ignoring my defenseless dwarves & the 2 dogs that were chasing him. When the dogs caught up, he killed them both instantly, then he apparently looked around and saw that he was alone: He beelined back to the only exit available--the one through which he came in--and was promptly snapped up by another cage. Crisis Averted. I un-forbade all of the dead goblins' gear, and we ran out to collect it . . . though for some reason, there's a perfectly good pair of leather trousers that nobody seems to want, sitting just outside the moat. I want to bring it inside, but can't seem to find the appropriate stockpile to draw it in.

Some time later, I was flipping through my various dwarves' moods, and noticed that my mayor & his manager girlfriend both "made a satisfying acquisition lately." I put it down to the new artifact weapon rack decorating their shared audience chamber. Still later, I cruised by their shared bedroom and saw an unfamilar object lying right next to their twin beds. So I examined it & found it to be a (troll fur loincloth).
Then I wondered which one of them was sexy-prancing around the bedchamber wearing it.
Then I LOLed.

What do you recommend I should do?  Is getting more nobles going to benefit me in any way?
Or are they still completely useless?

If you do nominate one of your own to become your Baron(ess), choose one whose preferences match materials readily available on-site or easily obtained through trade. If your site has no iron or flux stone and you (currently) have no Weaponsmith or Bowyer, elevating a noble who likes steel and crossbows would not be the wisest course of action.
And yes, they're completely useless, except for self-satisfaction and a status symbol. ("Woohoo, I'm a barony now!")

[Reudh]

A siege has come to the County of Limulunnos. Four masons, two babies and a trapper were surprised outside, but were all saved without injury due to the quick action of the Bronze Temples and the Inky Busts.
They were three squads.

10 Lashers led by a Pikemaster.
10 Trolls led by a Elite Crossbowgoblin.
10 more Lashers led by a Mace Lord.

There were two deaths and three injuries. Sigun Avuzozkak, Macedwarf bled to death after taking a bolt to the heart from the Elite Crossbowgoblin. A baby, Fath Fikodesis was ripped from her mother's grasp and cut to pieces. Both are to be honoured with golden sarcophagi.

The three injured dwarves are mending.
Dodok Nishlashed lost the thumb on her left hand, as well as sustaining a broken arm and foot.
Degel Tosidzenon (ARMORVIPER: BEST NAME EVER) has a broken rib and a broken foot.
Onul Onulusen has three broken ribs and a punctured lung. He seems to be doing alright nonetheless.

[Splint]

I have begun a personal series of fortresses.

The first, Tinhammers, shall be my shining beacon before I let it all crumble away. Following that will be Dragonwatched, to be set before Tinhammers falls, and lastly, which I want to make my most spectacular failure of them all, Treemurdered.

A quote is in order.
"I and James wanted to name the place Granitesword, but we were outvoted on the grounds that "Those treefuckers can suck it." I would say i fear for the lives of the elven traders, but that'd be wrong."

Currently Tinhammers has, thanks to both merchants and a great 'Shroom harvest, avoided going mad from lack of booze. A spacious pen has been made for a pair of reindeer and a pair of alpaca, and thankfully the local sturgeon and whatnot decided NOT to tear my fisherdorf apart. A mistake to be sure, as they are now delicious fish products fit for dorfs(poorly cooked at best, and slathered in dwarven wine.)

Taking all bets to see if these places last more than two years or not.

edit: Diplomat stymied. A diplomat was left unhappy.
AKA A diplomat was left unhappy because expideition leader lost his marbles and claimed a craftsdorf shop.

[Niccolo]

Today in Bronze...Something-or-another I startedm making bronze hammers. Because, you know, when your fortress name is all about Bronze being used as the fires of vengeance or sommin' you damn well make some bronze hammers.

My glassmaker decided that level-grinding was not for him when his crazy-gland hulked out and forced him to make an artifact window decorated with leather.

He's now making masterwork furniture for his apartment suite.

[Reudh]

It occurs to me that if I had hurried my dwarves a bit, we could've become the Mountainhome this year rather than next... all we needed was expensive roads.

If that bloody goblin thief hadn't gone and died on the work area, leaving his items everywhere.... then we'd have been elevated early.

[imperium3]

"Urist McQueen is stricken by melancholy"

NOOOOOOO!!!!

And I didn't have an heir, so it seems The Cooperative Sword just became a republic.

Is there no way for my baron to mount a coup?

[Urist Imiknorris]

So I've got some giant badgers. A 12-badger conga line went straight into my unicorn trap and ten were captured. The two that weren't (a boar and a sow) ran away from the dwarves that were sent to retrieve the cages. Except for the last one. My expedition leader, manager, broker, bookkeeper, woodcutter and Generic Hauler #1 pissed off the boar when he went to retrieve the last cage and got brutally murdered. So now I need a new broker and manager.

The two remaining badgers then decided that they should go over where the leader of the group is, which happens to be my animal stockpile. I pulled the lever at the exact right time and now I have a named giant badger boar in the pit under my drawbridge.

[Yoink]

So, nothing much has changed since my last post; a few dwarves have died from injuries or during the riots, but mainly I just want to ask you fellows: I just noticed I have a newly-migrated dwarf with no skills other than adequate crutch-walking, she's average physically and every single mental attribute is in the red.
What should I do with her?