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[Broseph Stalin]

I've created a pillbox style above ground fort with a magma moat and a 5  z tower with the top room being my expedition leaders solid gold bedroom, throne room, and dining room. All this is just the tip of the iceberg, there's a much larger fort below ground.

[raptorfangamer]

im going to drain a river just to retrieve the socks of a dead hunter, I see shoes, I hope there are socks in them

[Phantom of The Library]

First siege just arrived.
Me: "Yaaay! goblins to capture and train my dwarves with!"
*Turns on alerts and positions dwarves*
*Takes a look at the goblins again to see their numbers*
THEY'RE ALL CROSSBOWGOBLINS.
EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

*Checks again before hitting post.*
My apologies there's one swordsgoblin leading them.

[Niccolo]

I just embarked, for the first time ever, on evil terrain.

Was greeted about a month later by a werewolf - and it got absolutely hammered into oblivion by my three-strong militia. None of my militia have armour. They had copper warhammers and the amazingly protective pig-tail-fibre clothing.

I've had tougher fights from turkeys. What the hell.

Ah, hubris. Thy name is Dwarf.

A second werewolf came to visit and mauled my Expedition Leader's leg off. He lay around dying while two of my hammerdwarves got torn into itty-bitty pieces... The second werewolf was eventually accounted for by my last remaining hammerdwarf.

Then a third werewolf visited.

Long story short: It wasn't even time for the first immigration wave and I've lost three dwarves and a fourth (my only carpenter) has gone berserk.

That's what I get for saying it was too easy.

[Urist McKiwi]

My fortress has had quite a few problems. First, Plan A for breaching the aquifer failed when the plug turned into red sand on impact, thus converting into MORE aquifer. Then, the bloody BADGERS turned up and started wandering around the walls and around the river valley.....then the metalsmith gets a funny mood....and has to be sealed away (since the aquifer breach failed, I can't make ANY furnaces, or mine any metals). On the surface. With the wood stockpile, prickle-berry farm and all my carpenters workshops.....And we're short on beds thanks to the recent group of migrants. Fortunately, I don't think that smith has been around long enough to make any friends...and if he gets suicidal, I can just unlock the hatch and let him out to drown himself in the river.

[Farmerbob]

I'm waiting for my death pit under the entrance of my fort to fill with magma at .025 fps. I think next time I'm going to have to find a less flamboyant way of powering my pumpstacks. Or maybe dig the pit deeper so I don't have to pump as much.

Save.  Turn off temperature.  Start game, let reservoir fill.  Save.  Turn on temperature.

If you have not already tried this, that is.

[Phantom of The Library]

My fortress has had quite a few problems. First, Plan A for breaching the aquifer failed when the plug turned into red sand on impact, thus converting into MORE aquifer. Then, the bloody BADGERS turned up and started wandering around the walls and around the river valley.....then the metalsmith gets a funny mood....and has to be sealed away (since the aquifer breach failed, I can't make ANY furnaces, or mine any metals). On the surface. With the wood stockpile, prickle-berry farm and all my carpenters workshops.....And we're short on beds thanks to the recent group of migrants. Fortunately, I don't think that smith has been around long enough to make any friends...and if he gets suicidal, I can just unlock the hatch and let him out to drown himself in the river.

Do you not have trees you can burn for fuel?  Given the fact that you have badgers there should be at least a few sitting around.  If you really want to save him you could melt down a few spare metal items lying around as well.

[Vehudur]

Random beekeeper + 3 bears.

This did not have a happy ending.

[Lagslayer]

Random beekeeper + 3 bears.

This did not have a happy ending.

Those poor bears. They would have made fantastic war animals. And that useless dwarf lived...

[FearfulJesuit]

Yeah, I rank beekeepers slightly above lye and potash makers but below cheese makers and milkers.

[Vehudur]

Random beekeeper + 3 bears.

This did not have a happy ending.

Those poor bears. They would have made fantastic war animals. And that useless dwarf lived...

Close, but not quite.

The bears chased the dwarf as a vile force of goblinite arrived, which killed him.   The bears wandered off to do their thing as I closed the main gate so the goblins would go through the dodge-me trap instead.  This dodge-me trap contains a very long fall into a very deep hole.  There are some cages at the enterance to catch critters, but the goblins filled them (and a lot of the rest died horribly). 

One of the squads of walking goblinite hung around outside, so in the process of marshaling my military to handle them I got to watch two of the bears wander into the dodge-me trap and die...   I'm not sure where the third is.

[Garath]

lye makers can be useful

what is NOT happening in my fort:

no ambushes, thieves or sieges
no mega beasts
no titans or forgotten beast

and, weirdest of all: in a wet tropical forest, NO RAIN.

[Jimmy T. Malice]

My dorfs are currently gearing up to attack a water-elemental Forgotten Beast that seems happier to splash about in an underground lake than actually wreak havoc.

[kisame12794]

Squirtle, squirtle.

[Garath]

note to self: magma trap works