Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Quantumtroll]

I am now equipped to fully meet any noble's needs!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well done!

My own fortress is nearing completion of a 100+ level magma pump stack.  Construction has gone surprisingly well, but I'm starting to get worried about power.  I've got aquifers and ocean, so I'm planning on an array of water wheels powered by a conduit of ocean water into an aquifer.  It's the first time I'm doing something on this scale, so if anyone could tell me what's likely to go wrong, I'd appreciate the advice

[Tibbz2]

And there goes another of my fortresses. After about 5 mins.

[Lexx]

And there goes another of my fortresses. After about 5 mins.

What happened?

[UristMcHuman]

Embarked on half-mountain (of flux!! but no iron, dammit) and half bad-lands. Digging entry hallway right now.

[Vercingetorix]

I had a bit of a weird artifact experience; the guy named the artifact silk bag after himself.  I've never seen that before.

[DrKillPatient]

Hm, that axedwarf/hammerdwarf pair is doing quite well. One dark strangler/beak wolf siege, and two bowgoblin squads later, not a single hit has been landed on them. The hammerdwarf's always faster because he's naturally agile, so he runs in and breaks everyone's legs before the axedwarf enters a martial trance and turns into an angry, bearded blender. I should get him an adamantine bettle axe, now...

EDIT: Oh stop whining, swordsdwarf. You got scratched in the ear while your buddies routinely sheared goblins off at the torso. Get up off the riverbed and into the sparring match.

[ClkWrkJester]

So I get an ambush right at my gates, immediately as my first ever forgotten beast appears.  I worry. I fret. My luck with militaries is... iffy, my traps aren't done....
So I pause, sip my drink, and get to work. The Dorfs of Wallblazed spring into action. Noncombatants flee. The human merchants outside buy us time (I make a note to send their next caravan home with tons of free loot as an apology).  The lava cistern that feeds the magma kilns is rerouted, the floodgate to the volcano is opened, and piping hot death is even now heading down towards my new guest.

Note to self, send fruit baskets to capyabera men.

The goblins slaughter the merchants, and make it through the stonefalls more or less alright, to face my militia.

The first seven dwarves, as soon as migrants arrived, set aside their old lives. They've been training nonstop, are clad in masterwork armour, lead by a dwarf with an artifact shield. The carnage is amazing. One new recruit stands there, lopping off limb after limb with his steel axe. No greenskin makes it past him with everything connected. The rest butcher them, the raid leader is reduced to a torso by the axedwarf... the final goblin tries to run and near as I can tell, my captain of the guard grabbed him by his shorts and threw him into the stone fall traps.
It was... glorious.

[Eoganachta]

Apparently my defence system works too well. I was adding an automated water relay to my spike-bridge-of-doom and a mechanic happened to be connecting the spikes to the water relay when I was getting the spikes in sync. He lost his hand and most of the bones in his body. His injuries were so severe that I did not expect him to survive but thanks to the wonderful Baron As Doctor Bronzebanner and his adept staff he was saved. His inventory now is mostly sutures, cloth and casts. Also during a siege cleanup I forgot to turn off the spike-bridge-of-doom. A hauler leaped off and exploded; another four died due to injuries on site. Although a woodcutter managed to survive severe blood loss and made it to the hospital where he was patched up quite nicely. Too bad for him that he lost both his hands, legs and most of his internal organs. I also lost a axelord who decided that his ‘Patrol Inner Fort’ requires him to try to take on three sieges at once. He’ll get an iron coffin on the first layer of the Firecrypt’s catacombs.

[ClkWrkJester]

KILLED MY FIRST FORGOTTEN BEAST! \o/

And by killed I mean I saw it, panicked, and started pumping in lava like a crazy person.

[Greiger]

Nothing involving lava is crazy.  Except possibly the destruction of lava.  But even that oftentimes is not crazy.   After all, making obsidian destroys lava, and what is crazy about encasing goblins in obsidian and making statues out of the rock and placing them around your entrance?

Nothing that's what.

[DrKillPatient]

Goblins, Putrid Blendecs, Beak Wolves and Jotunn sieged me at the same time, at least one species of which set the entire map on fire. Probably an Eldjotunn. And the goblins insist on sending only crossbowmen. Invisible minotaur thieves topple my butchers' shops regularly.

...Fortress Defense mod is fun!

[They Got Leader]

I've 5,000 of 40,000 warhammers constructed. Progress marches onwards.

40K warhammer? Clever....


My Baron ran around trying to start a fist fight. He is carrying a bismuth bronze battle axe, and he chose my carpenter to fight... Who is also carrying a bismuth bronze battle axe.

The baron swings multiple time at the carpenter, who dodges them, then punches the baron in the upper leg. The baron retaliates by striking at him with his axe, but the carpenter parries it. With his fist. Then he proceeds to walk away, back to business, while the baron goes to rest his injury. Alright then...

[They Got Leader]

Very true, it is.

And I am trying to keep my baron from killing everyone, as he is very intent upon throwing constant tantrums because his opulent rooms aren't good enough (seriously, that is the only thing he complains about). I put some artifacts in his room and locked the door for a while. Let him cool off. The carpenter, on the other hand, is basically my go-to leader. I made him the mayor.

Oh dwarven politics... 

[ClkWrkJester]

You know what might impress him? An obsidian rain machine ibn his quarters. Just be a shame if he was under it, or the lava pump failed...
On a similar note, one of my dwarves went berzerk because I have no spider silk. First person he swings on is the axedwarf that held the entrance to my fort. He dodges, the Axedwarf grabs the guy's front tooth, and proceeds to punch him to death.

[They Got Leader]

You know what might impress him? An obsidian rain machine ibn his quarters. Just be a shame if he was under it, or the lava pump failed...
On a similar note, one of my dwarves went berzerk because I have no spider silk. First person he swings on is the axedwarf that held the entrance to my fort. He dodges, the Axedwarf grabs the guy's front tooth, and proceeds to punch him to death.

No, no, no, no. That man was obviously a dwarven dentist. Come on now, don't you know your medical practices when you see them? He probably drank half the pile of booze first...


Also, no, I will keep the baron. If only by spite. He was dual mayor/baron, but then I changed the mayor to the carpenter he assaulted. Who now lives in a rather opulent room himself. I feel like the baron is someone that the dwarves don't really care for, but they love the mayor instead.

I think I set up a loyalty clash here, as the baron "holds power", but the citizens back the mayor... this could be a good story, though it sounds like 1000 other stories I have heard before...