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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 6195039 times)

Russell.s

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16395 on: September 22, 2011, 08:08:40 pm »

24 migrants just arrived, and not a single one of them has a skill.

Not. a. single. skill.

[edit] sorry I stand corrected. One of them is a dabbling comedian.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2011, 08:16:56 pm by Russell.s »
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malimbar04

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16396 on: September 22, 2011, 08:34:14 pm »

agh...

I'm so proud of my fort on some levels, but the stinking clutter is driving me nuts. Some of these things have history as to why they are this way:
- why there are so many corpses and copper pump componants in the river
- why there are lines of bridges that don't raise as they should.
-  why there are, according to my record keeper, 220 corpses lying around (and 425 body parts, and ever corpse is fully goblin equipped)
- Why the wells are dry
- Why their are full lines of rock bars just lying around
- Why the doors are jammed with crap
- why there are tons of cats, locked in a cage
- and why there are masterful short swords everywhere, along with well-worn masterfuly created blue pigtail robes.

Tons of history, but their is so much house cleaning that I can't imagine it ever getting done. I am thus mass engraving the areas that can be engraved, and then I'm going to abandon fort. May what I learned in this one (oooh, lots of good stuff), be useful in my next fort.
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No! No! I will not massacre my children. Instead, I'll make them corpulent on crappy mass-produced quarry bush biscuits and questionably grown mushroom alcohol, and then send them into the military when they turn 12...

UristMcHuman

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16397 on: September 22, 2011, 09:30:43 pm »

Journal of Urist McHuman, Overseer of Silverytool:

15th of Hematite, 100
It is not until today that I decide to write in this journal of mine. Early summer.

We have settled a good-sized area, with a small volcano. However, most of it is quite wide open. But, I am fixing that by ordering a defensive wooden wall around areas I wish to keep out invaders. I wish to defend the soily walls to quickly dig out living space, the deposits of obsidian for our weapons (we have not found any useful metal ores), and most importantly, the mouth of the volcano itself.

I demand wooden walls because we cannot dig out enough stone at once to make a defensive line. We have brought much wood, and as such, I wish to build walls with them.

I have managed to gain enough of a budget to bring many, many, MANY supplies: 150 drinks, 40 pounds of meat, 20 pounds of fish, 40 plants, dozens of seeds, a couple of picks, a hand-axe, an anvil of iron, 400 wooden logs, 500 pieces of tanned hides, 1,500,000 feet (100 units) of cave spider thread, 1,000,000 square yards (units) of cave spider fabric, but *face-palms* no metal bars whatsoever. I should have thought about that...

We have enough provisions to last until the summer of next year, but we should still plant our seeds and process them to useful items (drinks, cloth, flour, etc.).

I expect the trading caravan of strange creatures of 'Silver Xelics', as I have heard them called, to arrive in a couple of months. We shall trade them away our lapis lazuli gemstones we have brought with us for useful objects.
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OmnipotentGrue

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16398 on: September 22, 2011, 10:44:17 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Edit: Suddenly, 18 migrants.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2011, 10:48:51 pm by OmnipotentGrue »
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Melissia

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16399 on: September 22, 2011, 11:15:34 pm »

Recieved a peasant with almost no skills except for a level five Military Tactics... guess he's my militia commander now?
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"If a job is worth doing, it's worth dying for."
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ZZmage

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16400 on: September 23, 2011, 01:37:29 am »

just had a wtf  :o moment was looking at the civ menu im at war with the elves the funny thing their queen and druid are goblins?
Queen/Goblin - Drunk ???
Druid/Goblin - Recurit :D
i was tinkering with the siege settings and had a thought babysnatcher could be funny elves brain washing small children into their belief system didn't think the ruler would ever get replaced like that. should be funny as hell once the first sieges come my *large  serreated steel discs* await them  :P
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DK advisor quote was the message thingy of DF with: "Uric Glodson does a wonderful impression of the baron, he can even do the nose. He has been sentenced to 40 hammerstrikes for his insolence."

Roraborialisforealis

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16401 on: September 23, 2011, 01:53:15 am »

My miner just sliced my entire candysuit army in half with a copper pick. (I have gotten multiple combat reports. They all died grabbing their socks off their severed LOWER BODY. EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM.)
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Tharwen

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16402 on: September 23, 2011, 02:11:51 am »

24 migrants just arrived, and not a single one of them has a skill.

Not. a. single. skill.

[edit] sorry I stand corrected. One of them is a dabbling comedian.

Tie them up in a pit in the centre of your meeting hall. See how comedic he is then.
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Vehudur

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16403 on: September 23, 2011, 02:22:04 am »

I have a forgotten beast in my second cavern layet with poisonous dust and I can't find it anymore :(

*gulp*
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...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

Russell.s

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16404 on: September 23, 2011, 03:24:40 am »

24 migrants just arrived, and not a single one of them has a skill.

Not. a. single. skill.

[edit] sorry I stand corrected. One of them is a dabbling comedian.

Tie them up in a pit in the centre of your meeting hall. See how comedic he is then.

I was tempted to feed them to my jaguar, but instead I created 2 new militia squads. They'll be good to fight cavern beasts in no time!
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ThatAussieGuy

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16405 on: September 23, 2011, 05:06:56 am »

Just had a miner in my new fort go insane and kill four dwarves without even trying before the militia got to him.  That brewer never even saw him coming...

edit:  Goblin Siege turned up on my doorstep.  Killed half the fortress (about 45/90-ish dwarves) because the dwarves decided they all wanted a drink at the river down the mountain near where the goblins were.  The ones locked inside don't mind - their walls and smoothed and decorated.  In one case with the settling of a wolf.  I imagine a town must be on the back of a colossal wolf, or something.
« Last Edit: September 23, 2011, 11:37:22 am by ThatAussieGuy »
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Dwarf_Fever

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16406 on: September 23, 2011, 01:58:33 pm »

24 migrants just arrived, and not a single one of them has a skill.

Not. a. single. skill.

[edit] sorry I stand corrected. One of them is a dabbling comedian.

To his credit, that is very funny.  :D
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"Whatever exists, having somehow come into being, is again and again reinterpreted to new ends, taken over, transformed, and redirected by some power superior to it; all events in the organic world are a subduing, a becoming master, and all subduing and becoming master involves a fresh interpretation, an adaptation through which any previous 'meaning' and 'purpose' are necessarily obscured or obliterated."

Roraborialisforealis

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16407 on: September 23, 2011, 03:04:17 pm »

I'm letting the legendary militia captain brag about his artifact silver shoe (With its bottom lined with bronze spikes!)
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Greiger

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16408 on: September 23, 2011, 05:34:30 pm »

You have invented the blingcleat.  Cleats for really, really rich overpaid American football players.
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Tevish Szat

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #16409 on: September 23, 2011, 05:41:26 pm »

My favorite is probably the platinum crown depicting the ascension to the throne of the first king of my civ in 1.  It seems somehow... appropriate.  The best though?  Artifact lignite hatch cover, menacing with spikes (dorfy!) and modestly decorated.  It's placed over my main stairs, right on the living/eating level, generating a steady stream of good thoughts for now.  Its artifact status means I could place it over the stairs at any given point and lock it to either take shelter from enemies above or enemies below.

I think the only way to improve it would be to somehow make it an indestructible artifact ‼Lignite hatch cover‼ and use it in that state to seal my dwarves beneath the earth, leaving an eternally burning portal as the only evidence above the surface of their presence.
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A medium-sized humanoid fond of fantasy and science-fiction.

Tevish Szat likes books, computers, board games, and cats for their aloofness. When possible, he prefers to consume hamburgers and macaroni and cheese. He needs caffeine to get through the working day.
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