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[MasterMorality]

I just got an artefact bismuth spear made. Is that any good?

[Yoink]

@Psieye: I've certainly had merchants go insane before, (along with their animals) when their trading efforts failed, but never a diplomat! Sounds fun!

[Psieye]

Oops, the diplomat died while I wasn't paying attention because there happened to be a lull in the incoming live targets. So too did some random dwarf I don't care about, but this could happen again to a legendary. That does it, I'm going to make a Fear Turret so my civilians don't run out to the kill zone when the action is happening. A window with a shutter (bridge) to display a fearsome goblin (uncaged but unable to move) so my civilians are repelled from the entry to the merry-go-round.

[kaenneth]

I have no intention of stopping the tamed grizzly-bearsplosion.

[McDwarf]

I just had my first experience with dwarven health care.

Some animals in one of my pastures were getting upity, so the baron's wife went to redistribute them. A reindeer gored her hand. Fortunately, I had started setting up a hospital, eight separate rooms, each with a bed, table, traction bench, and a well. Only one was complete, but that was all that was needed for the baroness.
The medical procedures went smoothly except when the chief medical dwarf, the only medical staff I have at the moment, decided to leave the baroness on the operating table while he popped off to get a quick drink and a bit to eat. The drinking tired him out some, so he took a nap before going back to work.
This wouldn't have been a terrible problem except I am also experimenting with milking. It seems milkers rapidly fill buckets with milk, so when the baroness starts screaming that she is thirsty nobody can find an empty bucket.

The baron's main concern is that the liaison from mountainhome has a nicer funeral arrangement then he does. Maybe I shouldn't have put that coffin in the hallway in front of the party room.
But he is happy, I gave him a cage with a cat in it. He likes cats. Unlike the children and badgers of the fortress, who seem to spend all their time hanging around the skeletal bluefish cage.

Some time has past. A unicorn has wandered into my war dog pen. I mobilize the military.
My military is suppose to be crossbow dwarves, but they have a preference for melee, so they charge in for bashing with the butts of their crossbows. Fortunately, they are very good at blocking attacks.
Some 82 pages of combat reports, the unicorn finally goes down. Near the end they started letting attacks get through and some have some serious injuries, they also realized crossbows don't make good melee weapons, so they returned to killing things with their mouths. The Cheif Medical Dwarf is credited with the kill.

The unicorn was hauled to an empty butcher's shop, which became cluttered before the butcher started working. Why are unicorns so big they don't fit in butcher shops? It takes the butcher forever to cut them up.

Unfortunately, the chief medical dwarf and the baron were injured in the attack and have been hauled off to the hospital. The dwarven caravan arrived during the fight, so the new liaison followed the baron to the hospital. I had to promote another dwarf to chief medical dwarf in order to get them diagnosed.
The baron has lost the ability to stand so crutches have been ordered, hopefully the baron will get better so he can talk to the liaison.

EDIT: the baron recovered a bit and is moving about on crutches now. The liaison seems impressed and as made him a count.
The chief medical dwarf is being worked on, but he has a broken hand which takes a lot of work.
Oh crap, because of his new position of count, Adil is complaining that none of his rooms are good enough.
EDIT2: the chief medical dwarf is up and about again, his hand is now encased in a cast.

[FaultyLogic]

Died again. Made a fort in a terrifying, freezing biome which was aptly named "Shadehalls". Lost a dwarf to the skeletal reindeer in the beginning but then everything picked up nicely. Made what I thought was a sufficient amount of traps at the entry ways. I was proven very wrong when the first goblin ambush showed up, and made it past all the traps quickly wiping out my citizens. Nothing very special happened. The tanner made an artifact leather sandal encircled with bands of black opal, that's about it. 

[zozeer]

I like the generated history!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[hjd_uk]

The glass puppy lookout towers work. I retrofitted the bases of my archery towers with green glass. Guess it means more kittens and puppies get to be atom-smashed instead of giving their lives for battle.

Spot radius was about 22 units in this case:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[bucket]

Disassemble wagon > carpenter's workshop > training axe > lumberjack.

[Stoup]

I'm about to send off my "Dwarven Funeral Pyre", in memory of my former army. As previously mentioned, they all died at the hands of Kul the forgotten beast, whose deadly vapors caused sluggishness and internal blistering, which I can also deduce must have also lead to hemorrhaging.

The pyre is able to be made thanks to a magma pipe on the first cavern layer. From the surface, I dug a sort of sacrificial pit about 15u², and it's in the middle of this that I arranged a pillar one level below the surface and made my funeral pyre level on the surface level. There are six golden statues on the platform, in addition to the corpses of the entire dead squad, which were indeed a bitch to weed out of the graves of the masses seeing as I didn't designate these graves beforehand.

With a separate slab prepared for each dwarf in order to cement their souls in whatever passes for dwarven heaven, I am now prepared to send the coffins, statue and platform down through the magma pipe, and into the heart of the world and consequently into the arms of Armok.

Edit1:Glorious success! The amount of dust and magma mist generated is astounding. I wonder if any of the statues will emerge from the rubble before hitting the Magma flow. I've also discovered two adamantine tubes thanks to the brave expedition of these fine dwarves. My computer froze for a good two minutes running the numbers on that epic journey.

[Niccolo]

I'm about to send off my "Dwarven Funeral Pyre", in memory of my former army. As previously mentioned, they all died at the hands of Kul the forgotten beast, whose deadly vapors caused sluggishness and internal blistering, which I can also deduce must have also lead to hemorrhaging.

The pyre is able to be made thanks to a magma pipe on the first cavern layer. From the surface, I dug a sort of sacrificial pit about 15u², and it's in the middle of this that I arranged a pillar one level below the surface and made my funeral pyre level on the surface level. There are six golden statues on the platform, in addition to the corpses of the entire dead squad, which were indeed a bitch to weed out of the graves of the masses seeing as I didn't designate these graves beforehand.

With a separate slab prepared for each dwarf in order to cement their souls in whatever passes for dwarven heaven, I am now prepared to send the coffins, statue and platform down through the magma pipe, and into the heart of the world and consequently into the arms of Armok.

Edit1:Glorious success! The amount of dust and magma mist generated is astounding. I wonder if any of the statues will emerge from the rubble before hitting the Magma flow. I've also discovered two adamantine tubes thanks to the brave expedition of these fine dwarves. My computer froze for a good two minutes running the numbers on that epic journey.

Fuck cremation. When I die, that's how I'm getting sent off.

[Stoup]

My next task is to decide how to honor these memorials properly. My first impulse is to drain my magma storage chamber, erect them in there, then refill it... but I'm both certain that most of the memorials aren't obsidian, and certain that I do not want to have to fill that goddamn reservoir again.

This leaves me with two more options:
1. Find space in the already-cramped-full-of-memorials-barracks,or
2. Erect the honoraries surrounding my execution tower.

I'm hesitant towards either option... the execution tower is kind of lame (even though it causes horribly gory and amusing deaths I haven't used it in years), and I don't want it to look like I'm just scattering the remains wherever I have room.

I have lots of space encompassed by my outer walls above ground that I'm not using. I wonder what I should do with all of it...

[malimbar04]

In my most recent fort, the entirety of my defenses is cage traps. we'll see how it works if I ever fight anything besides badgers and badger-people. Since these are untameable, and I don't really have a military to kill them all, I'm building a spire to drop them off from. Apparently the ceiling is 15 z levels high. I was disappointed until the mason building one of the floors had an accident. He of course died instantly upon impact, but what's more interesting is the piece of "floor" that fell.

through the first floor of grass
through the second floor of sand
through the third floor of silt
through the fourth floor of clay
through the 5th floor of basalt
landing on a basalt door on the 6th floor.

Damn, maybe it is high enough to kill the badgers. I just hope they don't make the same sort of dent.

EDIT: the new system works wonders, both for badgers and for goblins. First run forgot to put on the new hatches, so the badgers caused a few problems - but nothing a few coffins couldn't fix.

[Syrup Roast]

An engraver has just engraved a masterful engraving of himself engraving a masterful engraving to relate to the masterful engraving the engraver engraved earlier. Now repeat that ten times.

That said, the carvings I've had so far of trolls and goblins falling to their doom on menacing spikes are dated during goblin sieges. I have a feeling executions between sieges don't get recorded. Any verification on this?

Edit: The previously mentioned stoneworker is apparently turning 100 next month.

[jaxy15]

White tigerman siege.
Those pansies fled after they got hit by hordes of iron bolts.

Huge hairy crocodile attack!
Then it proceeded to be instantly killed by a single iron bolt to the head.